advice on a male teacher at DDs school please

[happydappy2]

My DD in year 9 used to have a wonderful female PE teacher who went on mat leave & might not come back. Currently a young male teacher has taken over and the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE. One of them has looked at his social media & seen who he is following on instagram....lots of female body builders who pose in skimpy barely there bikinis (as is normal for body builders) but also some young women who pose in a very sexualised way in barely there bikinis....lots of boobs & bum on show. (Not topless but good as.) One girl has asked me if that is appropriate for a teacher & I'm struggling with how I feel about this. I would have thought all teachers have to have squeaky clean social media or set it to private. I've asked the headmaster for his views but wondered what others thought-am I over reacting or is this not really OK?

What if a couple of Year 9 girls said they were ‘weirded out’ by a female teacher? Would you still think they shouldn’t have to feel like that? Again, yes! I think... the second half confuzzled me a bit!

Do they feel the need to snoop around every teachers social media and judge just them by who they follow? They are year 9, the snoopiest, SM trolling year known to mankind! They want to know adults as people, it's part and parcel of grwoing through those somewhat awkward teen years. As very teacher, new or old, should know! Which is why there are guidelines for teachers on how to stay SM safe!

Bull he is not new to the school.....yr missing the point spectacularly!
I never said a child told me.....

he OP says he is creepy because he watches them do PE, but that’s what he is paid to do? How does he creep them out exactly? It needs more context before making serious accusations. Except she didn't say that at all!

I know a brilliant young male teacher forced out of the profession because of a completely unfounded allegation. (Investigated by police. Absolutely nothing found he was exonerated however he left teaching and had a nervous breakdown.)

He is following body builders. They wear v little. That’s the look.

He should shut his sm to private though.

@happydappy2 all you said was “ one of them has looked at his social media & seen who he is following on instagram”, at no pint did you say I looked it up and this is what I found.

@CuriousaboutSamphire

he OP says he is creepy because he watches them do PE, but that’s what he is paid to do? How does he creep them out exactly? It needs more context before making serious accusations. Except she didn't say that at all!

Am I reading a different OP?!

@happydappy2

Bull he is not new to the school.....yr missing the point spectacularly! I never said a child told me.....

So it’s another mother ( SM stalker) not even asked the kids themselves then? ...

@CuriousaboutSamphire “ Currently a young male teacher has taken over and the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE.”

@happydappy2

Come on girl! Sit down and write it all out, moment by moment, thought by thought. He said, she said.....

... how else are we supposed to latch on and glom all the prurience out of your post!

FFS!

@BullBailey you've misread something somewhwere and put words into OPs mouth! Back up a step and start again before that error!

Eh? I’m reading her exact post and quoting from it directly. Clearly there is some hidden context I am missing here. No worries, I’ll walk away as we won’t agree.

Am I reading a different OP?! Yes!

If you go back to the OP and press the blue lin See All you can read all she has posted. She didn't call him creepy...

So-in a nutshell YES teachers SM does need to be private to prevent exactly this type of situation. He has a right to a private life on SM and the students have a right not to see overly sexualised images of 'models' he follows.

He’s not making the overly sexualised images though. It’s standard for femal body builders and male ones in teeny trunks.

The girls not liking him looking at them seems to me just because he’s male and I don’t see how he can teach them pe without looking at them.

I don't think it's acceptable that kids have tracked him down on SM- imagine if shoe was on other foot there?! Equally kids will be kids and he should have his SM more locked down than that.
I definitely think discuss with your daughter further to try and nail down what exactly is it that makes her feel uncomfortable about him. Is it because now she knows what is on his SM and now sees him as potentially predatory?
I work in a girls school and I do agree with @Goosefoot that sometimes things are stirred for controversy against male staff. It has happened twice at the school I work at with 2 different individuals. One of the complaints was that the teacher was a pervert cos he sat with his legs apart (as lots of men do) and that was making them feel uncomfortable as it was so in their face. The teacher in question was well over 6ft with very long legs so it was quite hard for him to put his legs anywhere not in direct sight of his classes. He was very distressed by the accusations and comments and we had to nip it in the bud swiftly.

@happydappy2
'the students have a right not to see overly sexualised images of 'models' he follows.'

I think students have foregone that right once they cross that boundary by specifically searching for his SM accounts. They need to take some responsibility here- no-one forced them to track him down on SM....

@happydappy2

So-in a nutshell YES teachers SM does need to be private to prevent exactly this type of situation. He has a right to a private life on SM and the students have a right not to see overly sexualised images of 'models' he follows.

I hope none of the students are on Instagram then.

@happydappy2

So-in a nutshell YES teachers SM does need to be private to prevent exactly this type of situation. He has a right to a private life on SM and the students have a right not to see overly sexualised images of 'models' he follows.

They shouldn’t and neither should have you been stalking him

@BullBailey

Eh? I’m reading her exact post and quoting from it directly. Clearly there is some hidden context I am missing here. No worries, I’ll walk away as we won’t agree.

No you're not😂

Absolutely bizarre.

Currently a young male teacher has taken over and the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE
Has the OP explained if the girls feel uncomfortable because of something he does or because he is a young male? OP is clear she would prefer a female teacher and this will influence her views and also her dd's. The Instagram is separate and should of course be private. And students shouldn't be so nosy.

@BullBailey

Sorry! Meant to quote your "Am I reading a different OP" hence the "no you aren't".

I totally agree with you.

He's a dumbass for not having his account private and hard to find.

However ,his SM activity is not dodgy. He's not sharing or posting these pictures,just following accounts.The girls have found his profile then looked at his following list. No one forced them to,they didn't stumble on it by accident.

Have they actually found any activity on his SM that they deem inappropriate?

OP have you looked at his profile yourself to see what it's all about?

Any teacher worth their salt would make damn sure their social media was private. All male teachers know they have to be careful and not put themselves into situations where their actions could be perceived to be dubious and if they don't know, it's in their best interest that they learn this fast.
Moreover in my experience when female pupils find male teachers creepy it's usually because they are.

I think you need something more than ‘he creeps them out’. What exactly creeps them out? Does he say stuff to them, get too close, make facial gestures etc? I would get much more information on this before raising a complaint because it can have such devastating effects for the teacher if it’s false.

I feel deeply ashamed about this but when I was about 11 or 12, we got a new class teacher. He was a young guy and we had all loved our old teacher and weren’t happy with the change and started to dislike him. A rumour started that he was a pervert and my friends and I got swept up in it and told people that he used to look at girls in a creepy way. I also hugely exaggerated things, like saying he screamed at me, when he just told me off. My mum and other parents made a complaint against him based on various things we said and eventually he left our school. I’m not sure he was fired but no doubt it didn’t help. In hindsight, I feel awful about it because none of it was true and he did nothing wrong except not being our old teacher. So be very very careful. It can be addictive as a child to get swept up in rumours. It doesn’t make them bad people but you cannot just go off the ‘hunch’ of a 13 year old. Think about the awful treatment in the press of Christopher Jefferies, where loads of his former pupils called him a creep on the most spurious of evidence.

And actually, ime the teachers at school who actually WERE inappropriate were not necessarily the ones who had reputations for it. That was part of their grooming technique - managing to make pupils think they were ‘cool’ or good-looking. They also tend to target individual pupils, not the whole class.

Moreover in my experience when female pupils find male teachers creepy it's usually because they are.

Hmmm. I’m not sure this is true. Often the ‘creeps’ were just people who were a bit weird, eccentric, or social misfits. The ones who in hindsight actually crossed lines tended to be quite charming and socially confident men. At secondary school, everyone used to go on about a science teacher who apparently used to rub himself up against the desks. He was in his 50s and had suffered a disability after an accident and used to lean on his desk as a result because he had trouble standing for too long. On the other hand, the young good-looking geography teacher who loads of the girls fancied started dating a 16-year old former pupil weeks after she left school. Yet, it was the former who was labelled a weird pervert, not the latter. Not saying it’s always like this but generally teenage girls don’t have particularly good intuition about predators, which is why they are such prime targets.

@CuriousaboutSamphire

he OP says he is creepy because he watches them do PE, but that’s what he is paid to do? How does he creep them out exactly? It needs more context before making serious accusations. Except she didn't say that at all!

Er yes she did.

Her exact words were:-

Currently a young male teacher has taken over and the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE

What's that supposed to mean? He can hardly do his job as a PE teacher without watching them.

Is he salivating with an obvious erection ? Or is it simply that the girls feel uncomfortable because they are in gym kit (whatever that consists of these days) alone with a man when previously it was a woman?