Still catching up but the part of the thread I'm at JJ seems to be expressing a genuine and deep dear of violence/ sexual assault from men.
Women understand that fear JJ. We live with it from the first time we have a look, comment, action aimed at us from a man or men that tells us we are sexual objects to be consumed. This starts young. Very young. It's scary. You go from child that is happy go lucky to these things you don't understand, as soon as you get tall enough, or your breasts start growing.
My daughter is 2 inches taller than me, and has long blonde hair. Puberty started some years ago so she has some curves and boobs. Men have started looking. It started last school year. She usually had her best friend (cuddly toy) with her when it started because she was 10. At primary school.
The women on these boards, across MN. Across society. Have been variously leered at, followed, propositioned, sworn at, insulted, masturbated at, followed, hassled, asked to 'get in the car', felt up, shouted at, fronted up to, etc etc etc . And that's before you get onto the stuff that society would start to even recognise as a crime.
We know what men are like. We know only too well.
Ok you're scared of men. Lots of men are scared of other men. Especially men who are not gender nonconforming. Whether that's through being gay (heterosexuality being a key part of gender/sex role role) or being small, weak, not liking football, dressing in an unusual way or whatever else toxic masculinity says is lesser.
But all of these men can't come in with women for protection! Especially not when the 'rules' say that any man can come in with the women, not just the ones who are at risk.
You are right that women are getting not very far with male violence. We have little voice and society sees it as the norm.
What would help everyone would be to get together and really work on the whole issue of why men behave this way and how it can be reduced.
What helps no one at all is saying well this one group of men who are at risk from other men can go in with the women for protection. Even though opening that door does nothing to help other men at risk. And also lets in any man who wants to come in who may be violent etc.
It's a shit solution.
I understand you're scared. If I read the tone earlier right. But this is not the answer. It's a shit solution for everyone. No challenge to violent men or the society that sees it as the norm. Increased danger for women and girls. Dodgy men invited into places we used to feel ok...
Yeah it's a shit solution all round.
Not expecting any reply from JJ to that essay, but anyway...