I am being asked to go into a meeting and introduce my pronouns to everyone in an hour and a half!

[WhatTheFuckHappenedHere]

I am part of a work group tasked with running a big event that will take almost a year to plan. The first meeting is in an hour and a half over Zoom. The organiser, who I've never met, and goes by they/them pronouns according to the email signature, sent round an email reminder this morning with the meeting link, and including an agenda. The first thing on it is to introduce ourselves, our work area, an our gender pronouns. I don't really want to do this, but I need to work with this person and the group as a whole for the best part of a year! I'm feeling like I'll just have to go along with it lest I get accused of enacting literal and actual violence. Any advice?

Reading this was perfectly timed with being notified of this tweet... Sophie is a trans woman btw, one who definitely doesn’t subscribe to ‘TWAW’ btw

TWAW bollocks* that should have said

"Why do you need to know 'my pronouns'? Are you planning to refer to me in the third person singular while i am actually in the meeting? Most people will find that very rude."

@Venusflytart

"Why do you need to know 'my pronouns'? Are you planning to refer to me in the third person singular while i am actually in the meeting? Most people will find that very rude."

I like this. But I'd only say it if they pushed and pushed. I think you have great Plan A and Plan B already.

I work in a global company, and I have no idea whether some of my overseas colleagues are male or female. It's manageable without knowing. If I mail or IM them directly, I use "you". As far as I'm aware, no one has yet been overly traumatised by this. If they contacted me to say they prefer to use particular pronouns, fair enough, but mostly we are happy to just get the work done.

Shamelessly place marking to see how this went!

And if you need a Plan C, refer to some aspect of the 'self-care for Zoom meetings' policy as to why you're not disclosing pronouns.

That'll learn them.

It's so pathetic when people have their own obvious agenda to draw massive attention to themselves whilst pretending that they care about everybody. All this person needs to do is to introduce themselves and say "Just to let you know, my preferred pronouns are 'they/them'" and leave it at that.

If it were a physical meeting and one person, say, only had one leg, the common-sense approach if they wanted to check the situation would be to mention that they have a disability and wanted to confirm that accessible facilities are available. What you wouldn't do is put it in the agenda that everybody in attendance has to announce in advance how many legs they have.

Good morning - my name is.... I prefer not to bound by the restrictions of applying a label to myself

I’d actually ignore is like you say. If pushed I’d reply ‘as I said I’m Whatthe...’ then leave a huge silence and move on.

If pushed, i.e. directly asked for your pronouns, you could simply say,

"I didn't forget my pronouns but I do choose not to be outed by giving them here. It makes me feel excluded and very uncomfortable."

Or you could just say, "I would prefer people to use he, him, his on all communications about me as it is proven to reduce sexist bias. Thank you."

Can you say politely that you have no affinity to any gender stereotypes, however you believe most people will refer to you by pronouns relating to your sex

I am so fucking stealing that.

'My name is ---. Call me what you like.'?

Y Webuilt.
You could even have ‘any pronoun requests’ as an agenda item. But surely if there’s someone in the meeting with pronouns other than you might expect, it’s less likely other meeting participants will remember them if you have to go round everyone else’s first which will just make people tune out or get confused.

www.shma.co.uk/our-thoughts/can-employers-prefer-to-put-pronouns-in-email-signatures/

This might be helpful op. If it's a video call I'd probably ignore it. If they asked I'd act confused and possibly a bit offended and say "isn't it obvious". Behind the scenes I would talk to hr or manager and say I am against this as I believe it encourages confirmation bias (I think that's the term) against women, and that it could put undue pressure on those who are struggling with their gender identity.

Unconscious bias and stereotype threat.

If pressed, i don’t identify with any gender. I am biologically female.

Use whatever pronouns you want.

Most forms have a "prefer not to say" option so I suppose you could say "My name is whatthefuck, my job responsibility is running the world and I prefer not to tell you my gender, thank you "

Just introduce yourself and say you're happy for others to use whatever pronouns they feel are appropriate for you. Say you're not one for putting words in other people's mouths. Stand firm.

Read this to DP. His response: what total bollocks. Tell her to say her pronouns are "captain knobhead".

Ooh, were I to have that delightful prospect, I think I'd book my next beautician appointment for afterwards.

The prospect of somebody saying to a woman (me) with a quarter inch long beard regrowth 'and what are your pronouns?' would get me out of another interminable zoom meeting pretty sharpish.

let us know how it goes !

@goannaforanna
What about saying your proniuns are she/him?
You could go further and request
She / him / her / their then put in a complaint when they make an error in the dative or ablative (O level Latin coming in hsndy there!).

If I am pressed to give myself a Title
(they are expecting Ms Mrs or Miss)
I always reply
El Presidente

If I was asked for a pronoun, I think I'd probably reply
Um
as that is what is usually said before people's names during meetings

Tell them that you don’t want to impose the use of restrictive pronouns as you know that some people find certain pronouns offensive. You are happy for them to use the pronouns that they find appropriate for you.

If that is too much for them to cope with then they are free to refer to you as ‘it’ or ‘that’.