I am being asked to go into a meeting and introduce my pronouns to everyone in an hour and a half!

[WhatTheFuckHappenedHere]

I am part of a work group tasked with running a big event that will take almost a year to plan. The first meeting is in an hour and a half over Zoom. The organiser, who I've never met, and goes by they/them pronouns according to the email signature, sent round an email reminder this morning with the meeting link, and including an agenda. The first thing on it is to introduce ourselves, our work area, an our gender pronouns. I don't really want to do this, but I need to work with this person and the group as a whole for the best part of a year! I'm feeling like I'll just have to go along with it lest I get accused of enacting literal and actual violence. Any advice?

@WhatTheFuckHappenedHere

The instructions also have some dictats relating to 'self care' during Zoom meetings, although hilarious, I dare not post these in case I'm horrendously outed

Was someone not fired for erm ‘self care’ during a zoom meeting recently as they didn’t realise their camera was on.

I wonder sometimes about saying 'I don't know'. And stopping there.

@Sexnotgender

I don't know! I'm hoping 'they' meant a different kind of self care

I agree about ignoring it if you can. If you are pushed I would state that this is not something I wished to discuss in a public forum, and that it didn't feel necessary as I was in the meeting so they could address me directly if needed. If I was still pressed I would repeat until they moved on. I wouldn't reveal anything further. I wouldn't message in advance because there's more chance of being sucked into a discussion.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.vice.com/amp/en/article/epdgm4/new-yorker-suspends-jeffrey-toobin-for-zoom-dick-incident

Hello all, my name is.... and today’s discussion will be about abc

All that bollocks is not needed. You’re all at work and all have names, no need to make it more complicated

Ignore it OP

@WhatTheFuckHappenedHere

The instructions also have some dictats relating to 'self care' during Zoom meetings, although hilarious, I dare not post these in case I'm horrendously outed

You can't tantalise us like that! Couldn't you at least post a couple of the funniest?

Crikey, Sex. I know zoom calls are frustrating, but I didn't think they were that kind of frustrating.

No advice to give, but wishing you good luck. Please come and tell us how it went as I'm nervous about being in the same position as you.

The pronouns I use to refer to myself are I, me and mine. How other people choose to refer to me is entirely their own business.

I would say I don’t share information about my gender identity in the workplace.
It will give them no help whatsoever on which pronouns to use but they don’t need any help so it doesn’t matter.

Smile kindly and say, “my name is WhattheFuckHappenedHere, but I don’t mind what you use when I’m not around.” Another sweet smile directed at the next person who has to speak up.

Tell them you’re pronoun-free and happy for your team to use any pronouns they deem appropriate

Name, then your role.

@DancelikeEmmaGoldman

Smile kindly and say, “my name is WhattheFuckHappenedHere, but I don’t mind what you use when I’m not around.” Another sweet smile directed at the next person who has to speak up.

Initial strategy is to ignore the instruction and just introduce like normal, but if that fails, I think this will be strategy number two.

I'd be surprised if they push me on it, but I'm prepared!

If I'm ever asked to do this I shall say no and ask for it to be dropped as it is not policy and is an intrusion into people's private lives.

If it becomes policy (possible) I will fully embrace it. I intend to give an exhaustive list of what words to use in what context for any situation which involves me, e.g.

Your- Your Imperial Majesty
We- Your Imperial Majesty and her humble servant.
That- eeeaoowpffft
Everything - Ni
Who- what
Whom- why

There are a lot of pronouns to go at.

Do not try this at home unless (like me) you are very, very difficult to replace.

Yep, that's sensible. Ignore, then if pushed, shrug and say 'I don't mind'. Least confrontational, defuses the situation, doesn't buy into it. Good luck!

@TableFlowerss

Hello all, my name is.... and today’s discussion will be about abc

All that bollocks is not needed. You’re all at work and all have names, no need to make it more complicated

Ignore it OP

Exactly this. It's total junk isn't it. This is the first time this stuff has reared its ugly head in my actual real life.

I'd go with ignoring but if the host pushes it I'd go with dancelikeemmagoldman. Good luck OP.

I've been in that position, I ignored it and introduced myself. The organiser asked if I had preferred pronouns and I cheerily said "oh I'm not bothered, whatever you want." Nobody mentioned their pronouns after that and nobody was asked to expand. It was only possible because the wording asked if I had a preference, so I can say no in a "no need to make a fuss on my behalf," way.

There are absolutely no trans people I could be accused of making uncomfortable though - just the kind of virtual signaller who thinks we should hide our lunches during Ramadan to avoid "othering," our Muslim staff members (but actually making them feel really self conscious). I'd not be able to shrug it off if I was going to be the only one or if everybody else had already introduced themselves.

@WhatTheFuckHappenedHere

The instructions also have some dictats relating to 'self care' during Zoom meetings, although hilarious, I dare not post these in case I'm horrendously outed

Haha, I say that people should take comfort breaks/get drinks/make sure they’re comfortable as I know it’s different to being in a room with everyone. Have I been weird?

“I’d like to be referred to as he and him and I expect my next pay slip to reflect that.”

In the words of Nancy Reagan - Just say no.

I’d ignore then it pressed say I don’t understand the question. If they ask what to call you say ‘your name’

I find it is intrusive, I’m a women, I look like a women, so refer to me as one!

Actually go with what winterterrace said- that’s the best.