I am being asked to go into a meeting and introduce my pronouns to everyone in an hour and a half!

[WhatTheFuckHappenedHere]

I am part of a work group tasked with running a big event that will take almost a year to plan. The first meeting is in an hour and a half over Zoom. The organiser, who I've never met, and goes by they/them pronouns according to the email signature, sent round an email reminder this morning with the meeting link, and including an agenda. The first thing on it is to introduce ourselves, our work area, an our gender pronouns. I don't really want to do this, but I need to work with this person and the group as a whole for the best part of a year! I'm feeling like I'll just have to go along with it lest I get accused of enacting literal and actual violence. Any advice?

I they won’t ask any of that. Just ‘are the toilets unisex?’

... transmen who then go on to deliberately get pregnant. If you feel so strongly that you identify as male, I would have thought that the idea of doing the most specifically female thing possible would be completely alien to you

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Very true...

I was also put in mind of Evelyn Waugh and He-Evelyn and She-Evelyn! I often wish he was still around to comment on our society today!

Hilary was originally a male name.

So was Shirley.

However the only "recent" male ShirleyI know of was the late Shirley Crabtree - better known as "Big Daddy"

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shirley_Crabtree

male names quite often move across to be used as female names, and when that happens they rapidly cease to be used as male names altogether. Happening right now to Aubrey. From birth onwards, males can't be tainted by being misidentified as female.

That's a good and interesting point

John Wayne's real name was Marion

Big Daddy’s name was Shirley wasn’t it (or was it Giant Haystacks?)

I know a few people who do pronouns in emails and I never did. I wasn't comfortable with it and I worried I'd get abuse off my colleagues. I was already paranoid about them finding out I was bi.

I know a few people who do pronouns in emails and I never did. I wasn't comfortable with it and I worried I'd get abuse off my colleagues.

Exactly: people will assume that you follow the same sex-based pronoun conventions as 99.999% of the world unless you choose to announce them when introducing yourself at a meeting or add them in to your email signature. How is that not simple, straightforward and satisfactory to everybody?

The same as some women choose to put 'Mrs' after they sign their name, but nobody is ever forced or even asked to state their title (except on official forms). In fact, I used to correspond with somebody at work who was a man, but was called Kim, so everybody who hadn't met him or heard his voice naturally assumed he was a woman, and he signed off with 'Mr' at the end of his name to avoid any confusion. His choice; everybody happy.

I like this for a more official complaint:

Just say you won’t comply as it’s an infringement of your civil liberties, like having to declare what your religion is or what political party you support. It seeks your affirmation of a contested cultural practice that also indicates a political position, so it’s invalid.
Spyglass

Say you identify as God.

@Collidascope

I realise the meeting passed without issue, but I wonder if it would be acceptable, when asked to state your pronouns, simply to reply that you're not transgender. Anyone pushing for pronouns at that point will look nuts as it's fairly obvious what sex the vast majority of people are, especially once they've spoken. As for normalising it, well, it isn't normal to be transgender, is it? There's something really patronising and coddling about us all pretending that we're paranoid about what pronouns others will use to describe us when the vast majority get through life without it being an issue.

I dont know why more people dont just say this.

I'd also be tempted to say, well how have you previously referred to me ? Has anything changed? Well why are you asking then? I suspect you only need ask someone who has changed their status quo, not those of us who haven't.

Good point. I actually would just use the word transexual. I am happy with the outdated words like woman and transexual.