Writing to restaurants and cafes with single-sex loos - anyone want to join me?

[williammorris]

We had a lovely meal in a local restaurant last week - four of us - so the bill was around £130 and on a day when it wasn't eat out to help out, and they were relatively quiet.

Went to the loo at the end - and the three cubicles were single-sex with the wash basins outside in quite a limited space. One of the cubicles was in a mess, with the toilet seat up.

I'm fed up with this. I have a decent disposable income and from now on, I'm boycotting all local restaurants and cafes that don't separate by sex, and I've written to this one to tell them that, spelling out why - e.g. women and teenage girls don't like dealing with sanpro with men in close proximity and the mess you inevitably get.

In future, I'll email to ask about their toilets before making a booking.

Does anyone want to join me in doing the same? I'm guessing it's often men who decide the layout without thinking about the impact, but if we start writing and asking, it may dawn on them they could lose business because of it.

men pose a risk to women. Irrespective of how they say they identify.

Simple and true, backed by masses of evidence. Given the endless flood of denials and obfuscation, this can’t be repeated often enough.

Most disabled provisions are unisex and acceptable.

Until they have the "gender neutral" label plonked on them.

Please don’t just boycott restaurants and cafes on unisex toilet provision. The hospitality industry is in dire straits

But why wouldn't I choose to go somewhere with appropriate toilet facilities over somewhere where I may or will feel uncomfortable going to the toilet?

@Bl3ss3dm0m

Just to add to my pp about accessable toilets, luckily I always have my husband with me, but I hate the ones opened via a radar key, as when another user comes along and opens it with a radar key, it just opens! So my poor husband has to stand holding the handle (when he is not helping me). It is totally unacceptable, will you start a campaign about them too please OP?

Deaf ears I am afraid. The less able have been pushed to one side by the whole trans debate (after opening the door for them, as a PP noted).

However all the disabled loos I've seen with a radar key have an additional lock inside so they can't just be opened by another radar key when occupied. It's integral to the radar mechanism.

Might want to double check that ?

However all the disabled loos I've seen with a radar key have an additional lock inside so they can't just be opened by another radar key when occupied. It's integral to the radar mechanism.

What happens if a disabled person is unwell or having difficulties, and pulls the red cord for assistance? How do staff get inside to help?

Just as a guess the same as conventional toilet doors - i.e. a plastic screw mechanism that you can turn with a coin from the outside? Caveat - I've not checked recently to see if this is still the case.

@DevonHoliday20

However all the disabled loos I've seen with a radar key have an additional lock inside so they can't just be opened by another radar key when occupied. It's integral to the radar mechanism.

What happens if a disabled person is unwell or having difficulties, and pulls the red cord for assistance? How do staff get inside to help?

Like most bathroom locks there's a slot for a screwdriver to access the locking mechanism from outside. As seen here (above the blue badge symbol).

I've done a lot of work with the less able (as well as my own personal circumstances) and toilets are a hobby horse of mine. That's why it's a little bit tiresome to see all the hard work of the past 3 decades undone so quickly. Something people enjoying their equal rights as women should bear in mind.

Thanks for clarifying.

Hi DevonHoliday, Thank you for your concern. Luckily most accessible toilets are not ones tha
t need radar keys, and they nearly always have a lock (like a put down latch) on the inside, but that can be opened from the outside in an emergency, by the "rescuer" using something like a penny in a little catch made for exactly that purpose. Hopefully it would be enough to put someone nasty off trying to break into the toilet, whilst still being quite quick for a person going to someone's aid. The worst thing about people using radar keys (me included when I forget to check) is like I said, you just put your key in the lock, and the door opens immediately. So even it it is someone nice, it is really embarrassing to have someone come in at a very awkward time!
Hello SerendipityJane, I can assure you that both my DH and I are reasonably intelligent people, and we would notice if there was a secondary lock on the door - which incidently the radar key people would not be happy about.
My DH and I travel quite a bit around the country (well we did before this blasted virus), and it is a very long time since we came across a radar key toilet that also had a secondary bolt or other type of lock on it. In fact if I did come across one like that I would make a complaint, as the outside "slot" for use with a penny or something, could not unlock a secondary lock, and the whole point of radar keys is to give access only to disabled people, whilst still making it relatively easy to get to someone who is in difficulty in the toilet.
I could give a long list of negatives for accessible toilets, but instead I will just say that the Gloucester Service ones on the M5 are very good, and the children's/family rooms there are very good too - one of them has a large toilet for adults and a smaller one for children in the same room, my Granddaughter really enjoyed doing a wee at the same time as me! I know that those services have at least two others around the country, one near the North of the Lakedistrict. I can't remember their name, but I think it has farmshop in it, and they have living roofs, and are nicely lamdscaped - they are almost destination services

Yes, Gloucester services are great!

As long as toilets are clean and don’t smell I will use them

I have been to ladies toilets that are so bad I’ve had to hold it until I am home

Saying that, more often than not it’s the loos that are shared with men that smell the worst

I do not care if I am on my period and use a unisex loo.
If anyone had a problem with that it would be the men and they can then campaign to have single sex loos if it really bothers them that I’ve bled in the toilet bowl they are about to pee in

Yes I'll join you. I always make a mental note of the state of the loos when I visit a restaurant and mention it in my Tripadvisor review. I'm afraid that unless men sit to urinate the areas they use will be sticky and stinky. I don't mind if it is a small cafe with only very limited facilities but anywhere else should cater properly for women and have clean and appropriate toilets for them.