A gay man’s journey from TRA to GC

[noblegiraffe]

A gay friend of mine has written about how he went from TRA to GC from a gay perspective. He’s planning on writing some more essays about how the ‘gender cult’ is intrinsically homophobic.

I thought it might be useful to share as a counter to Owen Jones, who he previously believed was a reasonable person to listen to on this. He is also pretty gutted about what has happened to Stonewall, whose authority he trusted.

twitter.com/duncrail78/status/1291373475886768128?s=21

HR meeting went well.

They confirmed that there is nothing to expunge from my record.

Nothing was put on there as a result of the original complaint after their December discussion with me.

(HR person confirmed that they didn't consider my comments to be in any way offensive, and had checked their understanding with their line manager who agreed, hence the lack of recording.)

So I'm reassured that nothing would show up should anyone request a reference/details for future employment (either internally or externally).

That’s brilliant newsFurious

And their comments are very interesting - it’s a pity they couldn’t tell you that sooner to ease your mind.

Are you feeling relieved and relaxed now or still a little furious and frustrated?

Great news Furious

Thanks all. I'm feeling more relaxed now, but still unforgiving

Oh that’s great that there wasn’t even anything recorded in the first place and they thought it wasn’t offensive! But then why did they put you through that phone call about taking your post down?

That’s great Furious, sorry you had to go through all this.
Your HR colleagues sound like they’ve got the measure of this now.

Duncan has done a video chat thing. I've not watched it yet as it's very long and I'm back at school, but the comments seem to think it's good.

twitter.com/artymortyarty/status/1301035406306181120?s=21

Oh the irony.....!

Oh! I saw that this morning @FuriousAndFrustrated - I had forgotten about this whole debacle. Perhaps he's forgotten that he tried to get you fired?

I don't think he's forgotten as he refers to it in a later tweet reply:

"In general no, there is no case here. I mean... read part one of my essays, I have done this...

But it’s extremely rude to try to tweet someone’s employer you found by looking up on LinkedIn."

Maybe he thinks it isn't the same 'cos he didn't have to look up my employer on LinkedIn?

Or maybe he's genuinely repentant?

Who can say?

I watched the chat between Duncan and Morty just yesterday, actually (Morty is on Glinner’s regular stream) and I thought it worth watching (Duncan’s thoughts on AGP, from a gay male perspective is particularly interesting).

He does seem genuinely repentant, and somewhat ashamed of his willingness to jump to what he now realises were misogynistic assumptions but that’s easy for me to say because I’m not the woman who was personally affected.

I shan’t assume you will be particularly interested in hearing the whole thing, Furious but I’ve time stamped from the relevant lead up to where he talks about reporting you, and then explains how he’d been taught to view t**fs as a hate group and how JK Rowling and Giraffe made him see sense. Give it 5 minutes or so from the time stamp and see what you think?

I have watched the interview with Morty before but rewatched the section flagged.

I'm still annoyed that's he's peddling the line that HR ignored his complaint and put it in the bin - they didn't, they had a meeting with me about it!

I'm also still annoyed that he was willing to believe me as massively bigoted/hateful, then a close friend said the same things to him that I'd been saying, and suddenly he's a convert to the GC cause.

He seems very genuine, and I'm pleased that's he's finally seen sense.

I think you have every right to still be annoyed!

I wonder how many other women got thrown under a HR bus, only for the thrower to eventually realise how wrong they were? Bet it’s far more common than any of us realise.

My feminist friends plugged away at me for ages before I got it (I was stuck in a ‘just be nice’ groove for ages and refused to even look into it further). I’m not a tattletale, thankfully, but I imagine if I‘d done a Mermaid’s style training course, rather than been woken up by all that gentle plugging, I could’ve been one.

I'm also still annoyed that he was willing to believe me as massively bigoted/hateful, then a close friend said the same things to him that I'd been saying, and suddenly he's a convert to the GC cause.

I’m sorry, that must really rankle. I admit I was half-expecting to lose him as a friend over it so I was super, super tentative to start with, nibbling around the edges of what he was saying rather than the more forceful and straightforward argument you were making which probably seemed shocking and unexpected to someone only immersed in one side.

And it did take a long, long time.