Trying to understand the hate trans people get on here.

[Kelcat9494]

Hello,

Firstly I want to say I am not attacking anyone on this forum and I expect the same respect as we are all entitled to an opinion and I am genuinely interested in the reasons why transgender people get so much hate on here:

Firstly I see a lot about not wanting to share bathrooms with trans women as it's a women's safe space - I don't really understand this because to be honest when I'm sat in the cubicle doing my business, I don't think about the persons genitals next to me, it's all very private as you know. The only thing we'd share is the sinks and I don't see a problem with that really. I did read a post about a abuse survivor not wanting to the share the bathroom with someone with a penis (I'm really sorry that the person went through the abuse but that isn't trans people's fault, the fault is with the abuser alone) but in reality a trans person is more at risk in the bathroom and you have no idea whether they are pre op or post op as again in the bathrooms I've been in we don't show each other our genitalia. They are genuinely just doing their human business in the same room as you so don't understand the problem, actually I suppose people are afraid some odd men would use being transgender as an excuse to use the woman's bathroom but that's not trans women's fault also by this logic if we don't want trans women in the bathroom then we should have transmen in there (either pre op or post op), I've posted some pictures below of transmen and woman, would you really want the trans women in men's bathroom and the transmen in the womens?? (I can only post three but you get my point).

I know JKRowling posted about periods and a lot of people jumped on it to say only women have periods and whatever, this isn't true though is it? Some biological women aren't able to have periods or carry a pregnancy or be able to give birth so if we don't see that as a problem as we recognise it's a biological issue then why is trans-men having a period a problem and trans women not having one an issue? And who actually cares? There's enough tampax to go around, maybe let's focus on making them free for women and transmen as I for one is sick of paying for a "luxury item" I need every month due to no fault of my own.

I can't think of anymore off the top of my head that's been posted but anything in the comments I'm happy to reply to but I genuinely think this forum needs to consider what transgender people actually go through, imagine not feeling like you're in the right body, being attacked and hated for who you are and it's obviously not for fun and games because transgender people actually commit suicide over the issues they face remember #bekind and really think how sharing a bathroom or sharing a tampax would affect you? I don't think you'd kill yourself over it.

What you basing that on?

Fucked that up there didn’t I?

I m having that kind of day too

When you're trapsing through old threads and wish you knew what @Winniefred had said before she was silenced.

I always look at these threads hoping to find a coherent argument against sex being biological and gender being constructed, so that I can understand, but the only thing I see is people saying "you're being mean to children", "you are transphobic", or "trans people have an awful time of it".

Number 1 the trans issue affects everyone, but women primarily and yes it affects children, but we have a right to discuss the fact that sex is biological and gender is constructed - the issues we raise are serious and cannot be silenced on the grounds that someone may be offended, child or otherwise. Not to mention the fact that a lot of the people on here are MUMS and we care deeply about our children. I am terrified that my son will become confused when he reaches a certain age, and want to mutilate his body. I just hope that my love for him as he is, and accepting all his personality traits and style choices will protect him and allow him to be himself, whoever that is, without having to disassociate from his body.

Secondly no one explains how it is transphobic to state that biological sex is a fact - it seems like an extreme distortion of reality to me to pretend otherwise. I do understand that gender dysphoria is a mental illness coming along with suicidal tendencies and huge depression, perhaps akin in a small way to body dysmorphia which I have suffered with all my adult life causing me to harm myself. Its body dysmorphia which drives people to have cosmetic surgery, and its gender dysphoria which drives people to gender reassignment surgery, and both I think are a crying shame. I don't agree with the way our society accepts radical cosmetic procedures, and I don't agree with anyone mutilating themselves. I don't understand how this can be offensive to people.

And 3 I understand and sympathise greatly with the plight of trans people. As I understand it they suffer far more physical violence than women and suffer genuine hate and persecution. Me affirming my biological sex should never be hateful against someone else. I think its crazy that its come to this where me affirming that I am a woman because of my breasts vagina and womb is silenced and offensive. I don't understand why some trans activists (not all by any means) don't understand why this is important to me, and want to violently silence me. Do they not know I have suffered great violence on account of being a woman? That I consider myself permanently disabled by this violence, that its changed me, and that the violence came from men. I get flashbacks of childhood abuse every time I see my own husbands penis. It is horrific. I don't by any means blame everyone with a penis for this, I am fully aware that NOT ALL MEN (sorry) are abusers. And certainly not all trans people. But where are my rights if I enjoy feeling safe in female only spaces? I was sexually assaulted by a stranger in an alleyway about 5 years ago, and ever since then I suffer chest pains and struggle to breathe when a man comes too close to me or if I am alone in a space with a man I don't know well. Does this not matter? There are women out there with severe PTSD from the rape and abuse they have suffered at the hands of men - this is not an extreme or unusual story, it is everyday. Why do our feelings not matter? Just as the vast majority of men walking down the street who give me heart palpitations are most likely lovely guys who would never hurt a woman, so might anyone with a penis be, but the fact remains that I have a physical inbuilt traumatised reaction to them. Why does no-one care about that? It feels to me that the reason why is the same reason I have always been abused and pushed aside. As a woman I don't matter. If you have any compassion in you surely you could put yourself in my shoes and work out how I got there.

Mums net is a life saver for me - to read other peoples views and know that I'm not going mad, as my abusers made me feel when I was a child. Gas lighting is the worst. I don't like it when people are unkind towards trans individuals. I understand the anger through feeling silenced by all society, but these people suffer greatly too and are often in great distress. I just wish they would respect females though...

I could not express these thoughts anywhere else, not even in real life as I am so scared of the repercussions.

I genuinely think this forum needs to consider what transgender people actually go through, imagine not feeling like you're in the right body, being attacked and hated for who you are

Women, ones that are famously associated with vaginas have endured this plus enslavement and worse for millenia. I think trans should have their rights like anybody else, but I should have mine too.

All I can say is if sense of actual human history is being lost to this extent, gods help us all.

These days everything that is critical, questioning or not totally on board with something is labelled as 'hate'.

Juvenile and meaningless tropes, which somehow seem to presume that adults are far too fragile to survive in the world in which conflict exists.

The Coddling of the American Mind is an interesting book which looks at this contemporary phenomenon.

My daughter got called a ‘vagina haver’ and a ‘people who menstruate’ today for Menstruation Awareness Day.
Oh joy my daughter and fellow girl pupils referred to as body parts and body processes.
This is dehumanising for women and girls. And that’s the tip of the iceberg apparently it follows that men should join us in changing rooms, toilets, on sports podiums etc etc so the list goes on. Women on these boards are far from haters - the least hating rights group you could imagine but how we are sick of women and girls being a sub class sex and not even allowed to name ourselves. So what if men want to dress up as women ? Doesn’t trump biology.

@Justhadathought I also recommend Haidt's other book, The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion. I listened to the audiobook a while back and it has really helped me to better understand how and why this issue is so fraught.