ROGD Parent Support

[iamright17]

This is a new thread for parents who are experiencing the phenomenon of Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria in their tweens/ teens/ young adults.

Sadly we are being watched and our words taken out of context so please be careful what you say.

I want the UK and beyond to listen to parents. Even if it is deemed as anecdotal for now, it is important for someone to acknowledge our perspective. The trans narrative is trying to undermine our credibility.

My flamboyant male youngest has taken to announcing that his pronouns are "Yes." Given that he wears a combination of his mother's clothes and cosplay items, and is prone to a scornful eye roll at things he deems truly ridiculous, I am confident this is a piss take, not an expression of inner essence.

DuMonde - I wonder if any psychologist with half a brain might wonder if your DSD might be attention seeking (however subconsciously), rather than actually dysphoric.

Kudos to your sense of humour in a clearly very stressful situation.

Best wishes to tiny 8 yr old, DuMonde.

My ds' GD developed after a period of his sister being very ill, and in and out of hospital (sucidality) in fairly traumatic circumstances, and his father being in the ICU, hovering between the living and the dying for a while. How anyone can dismiss trauma as an instigating factor in GD is beyond me. It's clearly present for a lot of kids.

Dumonde 💐💐💐💐

So many flowers for you. Wonderful mother and woman

Before my DD's announcement of being trans (around 3 years ago), I had not met anyone who is transgender. I had read about it and was genuinely intrigued and sympathetic to what I thought was an incredibly rare syndrome, glad that these individuals and their families were getting support.

Since then, I have of course been alert to it, so bound to pick up cases everywhere. So in my small village, 2 individuals; several relatives of residents. In the local schools - 4 or 5 in each.

Are our kids the crest of the wave? Or the tip of an iceberg? Where were they all 25 years ago?

I think, not sure on what basis, that the juggernaut won't continue for too much longer. Probably too late to save my DD from irreversible harm, however.

Smallblanket I so much hope we are at a tipping point. For all our children's sakes.

I hope the De transitioners will literally be all over the internet. That you won't be able to Google 'transgender' without finding the real, true stories of people coming out the other side.

For a tiny minority I do believe transition is right (as adults) and personally I believe those people will have known of these struggles most of their lives. This will not include the deludge of teenagers currently presenting with ROGD.

My sincere hope is even the trans community will wake up to the reality of the situation and stop co-opting mentally ill or ASD teens into their permanent number and recognise this phenomenon.

I wonder if any one else has seen the documentary about the illness in LeRoy on USA on 2011? The film is called 'The Town that Caught Tourettes' and info on the situation is here en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Roy,_New_York

smallblanket i think the difference 25-30 years ago was that there were lots of gender bending role models - Boy George, Marilyn, David Bowie,Annie Lennox lots of men wore make up in the 70s and early 80s and never once called themselves. Its one of the things that makes all of this so desperately sad - men wearing make up and female clothing is not new, women presenting as male is not new they're not discovering something no one has ever done before but they really think they are :/

Im so desperately sorry for what everyone on this thread is going through and sending lots of love and support xx

Where were they all 25 years ago?

I seriously think that 20/25 years ago they were hanging out on "pro-ana" sites and bulletin boards, swapping ways of not eating.

There is an element of "fashion" (although that makes it sound so frivolous) or social contagion, similar to the waves of anorexia. Indeed, there's at least one of my students who is TiM and anorexic and clinically depressed. I can't help feeling the transgender art of that is a symptom not a baseline.

And the treatment of young women with anorexia (and their families) was so totally different. Never was an anorexic "affirmed" in her bodily dysphoria ...

I'm reading this thread in awe. I have a niece who is now my nephew. And a younger nephew who is totally dominated by this transition. Rest of the family is cheerleading, and the child's mother kept the information of my niece/nephew's decision to transition from the child's father for a whole year. They are still married (I don't know how - I doubt I'd deal well with that level of control and/or deception). The mother is v happy to have a legitimate lace in the forefront of wokeness - I tend to think it's a matter of a kind of Munchhausens. And the mother & ticks off the dementia-suffering grandmother if she makes a mistake re niece/nephew's pronouns.

As you can see, I'm a tad angry about this, but my feelings are neither here nor there. I just look on in fear at what weekly testosterone shots are doing to the 17 year old child I have known since birth. I suspect s/he is a butch lesbian and I hope they reach some kind of peace with their body.

Good luck to you parents - being an aunt & watching this is awful enough

This is a very helpful article sent to me in a link from one of the sites I've been looking at.
It would be very interesting if it wasn't one of my children caught up in it all :(
4thwavenow.com/2017/12/07/gender-dysphoria-is-not-one-thing/

Happy new year to us parents, relative and friends who are caught up on the nightmare of transgender cult. I hope we all have a better year and the cult gets exposed. I will get deleted for saying CULT but couldn’t resist. Wish the cult would leave our kids alone. Our love is greater than the cult. It is important that our kids know this. Keep them close without affirmation is hard but this is the important thing. Cheers to us all. X

Incase I get deleted. Let’s hope for a happier new year

Cheers iamright and Amen to that.

Absolutely, iamright

Wishing us all, and our kids, a happier year.

Stay as strong as you can, folks. Here's to a new decade of scientific fact and evidence- based treatments.

I am new here, sad to see so many parents having issues with this.
I have helped a couple of parents fight this madness.
As intersex I am all too aware of the insanity of allowing ANY human take cross sex hormones.
No one is born in wrong body.
no parent should allow trans delusional ideology wreck their childs life and future health.

For a XX female to take testosterone is pure madness, it will wreck her fertility, bringing shorter life expectancy, many heart problems.

Please make sure your child sees an endocrinologist - NOT just a GP or gender ID clinics.

for a XY male to take estrogen etc - again - madness...

No right minded parent would allow someone into their house to castrate their son?

If you need any advice on the facts - PLEASE SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGE -

SOCIETY, PARENTS, SCHOOLS AND NHS MUST STOP THIS MADNESS ... it is child abuse

Welcome Sam1875. Can I just caution everyone to be careful about private messages. It's a good way for those with less positive intent to get information that might be better kept private - be they someone inviting PMs or someone using the well intentioned invitation by another to send PMs.

Sam - good to know you are against this madness. NHS Endocrinologists are the ones prescribing cross sex hormones, unfortunately.

Happy new year fellow parents and aunties, uncles and well wishers!

Thanks for the flowers upthread, much appreciated. It was quite a year.

Regarding attention seeking behaviours - I do think littlest’s illness has contributed somehow, especially as we hid the worst of it from the other two (they knew she was seriously ill but we didn’t let them visit her in intensive care and middle DsD wasn’t allowed on the Stem Cell Unit due to infection control rules (eldest counted as an adult and could visit). This means she’s only witnessed the outpatient stuff and a additional shorter term hospital stays.

The attention seeking behaviour seems to have been suppressed at home and instead been expressed in school (DsD didn’t ‘come out’ personally, instead a teacher emailed the news along with a link to the local LGBT support group).
Luckily, DsD’s mum is a no nonsense sort (speaks English as a second language and grew up in a country under soviet rule) and told the school to back the fuck off and stop filling DsD’s head with nonsense about changing into a boy. She is still getting it from peers and popular culture of course (sodding CBBC!) but we are doing all we can to minimise influence.

Two things that are very sincere are DsD’s hatred of her maturing body (which is slim, strong and healthy) and the lesbophobic bullying she has been subjected to in the school changing rooms (accusations of looking at the other girls undressing).

Just writing that sends me straight back to my own high school years. Not much has changed in 3 decades.

Thanks SmallBlanket YES sadly some NHS endocrinologists are guilty - BUT they are becoming more aware of the madness - they know that when the world wakes up the NHS and they, themselves, may be at fault for many many legal actions that will happen.
As an intersex person, and having too much awareness of cross sex hormones for my own condition.... i have spoken to a fair few, and they are FULLY aware of the drastic long term affects and MUST start offering alternative options, .. these young vulnerable younsters do not need mutilating surgery NOR health damaging medication .. they need love and education .... so sad to see young women ruining they bodies in a fantasy against regular anxieties of growing up....

DuMondeB can you say anything non-outing about the attention seeking behaviours?

Our young person hates being in the spotlight yet ends up doing stuff all the time that leads to their being there!

It’s been relatively small scale and quite varied really, mostly telling untruthful stories - once she realised she could skip the classes she didn’t like by spending the time in the school counsellors office, that seems to have been the aim of most school days!

My son had a similar emotional-time-wasting grift going at that age (different school) he has ADHD and ASD and I think DsD could have similar (but I think some of us ASD parents can be quick to ‘diagnose’ other kids, so I can’t really trust my judgment here).

We’d try and rustle up the funds for private talking therapy if we could trust anyone to think critically and not just affirm. Perhaps we would be better trying to fund a private Ed psych? DsD is bright and appears capable so won’t get funding via school (I suspect she has problems with executive function though. She definitely has social issues).

Two things that are very sincere are DsD’s hatred of her maturing body (which is slim, strong and healthy) and the lesbophobic bullying she has been subjected to in the school changing rooms (accusations of looking at the other girls undressing)

Oh that must be s difficult - my niece's issues started at puberty as well. She's been on anti-ds since the age of 12.

You've thought of this I'm sure but what about a sport in which her strong slim body can be used with skill? Our culture starts to take away girls' physical prowess at puberty - terrible PE classes don't help!

My DD has hated her boobs and periods as well. She has one binder but that has 'mysteriously' gone missing in the wash so she has admitted that H and M Sports bras feel very much the same.
We have an under armour one coming as well.

I don't want to take her to the doctor until I know there is someone I can trust not to affirm. Am going to deal with the school first- I will send an email for a meeting ASAP on Friday.

I was wondering about the school Poly as you said it's an all girl school.

Do they need to be informed at all? As there are no boys changing rooms or toilets for your DD even to access and the name is a shortened version. I'm just wondering what the benefit would be and if widening the circle of who knows about this might open this up to more possible outside influences.

I say this with no prior experience, it could be equally good to get ahead of it and not have them affirm at school but it depends on what their position is.

You mentioned that there were other gender neutral students attending. Is there a school policy on this?