I Believe Her

[Brittany2019]

This is disappointing :

Perhaps we could also stop the use of the word "rape" as it's triggering, perhaps you'd be more comfortable with "forced sex"?
Hmm, now where have I heard that term before...

It didn't take too long did it, for you real reason for being here to come out, Rather than being about support it's about restricting words women can use when talking about rape.

I’ve heard it all now. Rape survivors in a woman’s space need to stop saying “penis” as the word might trigger penis-bearers

Ok, well as I said I have no further intention of posting, but it's quite clear that calling my language into question was an attempt at silencing my opinions. As I said above, the posters on this board don't bat an eyelid about liberally using the word "penis" and repeatedly reposting horrific stories without trigger warnings, so it's a bit disingenuous to see the amount of pearl clutching going on at the use of the phrase "get fucked" which I've seen used a fair few times on FWR with no objection.

Ok, well as I said I have no further intention of posting

And you absolutely stuck to that and didn't return.

Thank you Frothy, appreciated.

This person is lying. He said "tell you to get fucked" to me, not "them". It was a direct attack. And he's still whining and dissembling.

"Surprise sex" is the favoured term for rape for Team Misogyny.

I’ve heard it all now. Rape survivors in a woman’s space need to stop saying “penis” as the word might trigger penis-bearers.

That's not what I said.

It may trigger rape victims. Don't assume because you're ok with it that it's ok to speak for all of us.

Dittoing what TheProdigalKitten says. Lord knows I remember some of the debates that were held on this site back in the earlier years, but when shit hits the fan, that support was always there for other women.

It's what this forum is about.

Gotta say, the fact that Frothy doesn't want this unpleasant person's support speaks well of her regardless of how much I may disagree with her on other issues.

Gotta say, the fact that Frothy doesn't want this unpleasant person's support speaks well of her regardless of how much I may disagree with her on other issues.

And the fact that Flowerrr is forcefully giving that 'support' even though they've been told 'no' speaks volumes as well.

Absolutely it does ProdigalKitten. Women can still back one another up against misogyny, no matter what side we're on.

Once again, it's appreciated FrothyDragon.

You don’t get it.

Telling people to “get fucked,” on a thread about a rape support site is out of line and women told you so.

You are now calling those women pearl clutchers.

You are uncouth and unpleasant.

Jaysus, Power.

Frothy, FWIW, it's your page, and your rules, and I do appreciate that you will have put up with a lot to support women who are raped, as sadly, everyone who supports raped women will have to put up with abuse, which is a shitty thing that needs to change.

And I will always respect a woman with the ovaries to return to a difficult conversation with grace. I don't agree with your position, but I'm not going to spend anymore time telling you that.

How on earth are rape survivors supposed to talk about rape without mentioning penises?

Bloody well said

I'm gonna break it down, as apparently I'm feeling that masochistic today!

The difference flowers, is in the intention and the tone. We on fwr are experts in tone. 🙄 and the lucky mnhq mods are experts in reading intention

The word "penis" or "lady-dick" (and yes, "rape" too) is used descriptively within this thread. To the majority of victims, a description does not have the same visceral feel as something used towards them (especially when it's within the context of talking about their own rape) that contains the word "fuck". Fuck is not merely descriptive in this context, it's intentions and its tone are perfectly clear.

But then you knew that, really.

*That's not what I said.

It may trigger rape victims. Don't assume because you're ok with it that it's ok to speak for all of us.*

Except you're policing how other rape victims talk about their experiences. Please understand that this is not okay

We all know the kinds of discussions that occur on these pages. We already have situations where rape victims are being told they can't discuss the events of their rape in counselling if the case is going to trial. (They can discuss thoughts and feelings, but not the events - and this is through organisations that provide counselling for rape survivors. Other counsellors are being over cautious about this law and refusing to take on clients who are pressing charges)

PS, I have rarely, if ever, seen "get fucked" used on this forum.

Sorry for slow replies, trying to multitask.

I don't quite see the issue with what they have written, assuming what they wrote is what they mean. I don't think its helpful to (and this is assuming the post is true in what it implies..) go onto a status of a trans person who has been sexually assaulted and 'remind' them that male people commit the majority of sexual violence and they are male, etc etc.

Now, of course, its unlikely that women have been behaving in such a way, so maybe I shouldn't really comment. But yeah, on the face of it I don't see the problem with that statement. But it usually tends to be..well not exactly true, the stuff women are accused of so..

And I will always respect a woman with the ovaries to return to a difficult conversation with grace.

Absolutely. Seeing again now the attributes that previously made Frothy good at what she was previously doing on that page.

Agree. Frothy has responded to this thread admirably during the last couple of pages.

Also agree

Yes - I really respect how Frothy engaged on the thread, which mustn’t have been easy

I wonder if the unwanted supporter realizes that coming into a woman centric space and vomiting misogynistic language all over it doesn't make women turn against each other, in fact it's far more likely to make us circle the wagons because you have (rather stupidly) provided us with a common enemy.

Farkin' 'ell wims, this is all rather sisterly.

Sorry, sorry...

(Slithers off looking sheepish.)

Thanks everyone.