Ama - transwoman

[Indigo9]

I've heard about Mumsnet for years in regards to views on transgender women. But until today I had never visited the site. I've spent hours reading posts related to transwomen and the gender ID bill. I do think there is a little bit of a disconnect with regards to who and what we are. So I've decided to setup this profile with a mind to answering questions you may have about being transgender. I'm not in to hate or insults, so you won't see me participate in any mud slinging, name calling or anything else. I will, however, answer any legitimate questions from my own perspective. I do not speak for the whole trans community and would not try to, but will happily share what I know.

VeronicaDinner, you seem a bit silly. Deliberately? Only you can tell.

But still, I wonder.

Earlier I posted about the possibility that OP could be mistaken:

Could it be, Indigo9 , that you only think you think like a woman? ... That you are mistaken when you think you think like a woman? That seems most likely. No?

What do you think? Could it be that OP is mistaken to think she thinks like a woman?

Is asking this a genre of bullying? Or, as I think, would it be silly to suggest so? What do you think?

@Datun

I just said I was a woman. Or do you think I think like a man? Perhaps you'd like to define that for me in oceans and oceans of detail.

Justhadathought

Mumsnet's strapline is actually 'the one with all the swearing'.

It's their USP.

You could be anyone, Veronica.

The other thing that makes me clutch my forehead is how people seem unable to realise just how sexist it is to define women as anything other than adults humans who are of the sex class that produces ova and gestates young.

because anything else is saying

• all women look like this - sexist
• all women dress like this - super sexist
• all women think like this - so sexist it can be seen from space

so lets hear how a male can be defined as a woman without pandering to sexist stereotypes?

Same old same old....

Try to explain and try to make us understand.
But it doesn't make sense.
I'd have more respect if they just admitted they get some sort of kick out of it.
And when they're called out on their bollocks they disappear and hey presto all the sock puppets (gray) rock up.

And everytime we politely listen and engage and expect the revelation that never comes. Because it doesn't fucking exist.

Am I being accused of being a man? Let me get out my MN bingo card. Absolutely classic.

Lol I would rather be a man they seem to get it easier!! I don't get 'thinking like a woman!'

The mocking tone about comfy pants, getting your yfronts in a twist, hurty feelz etc is really unnecessary actually. Seriously, what is that achieving? I'd much rather have a genuine question and answer session than rip someone to shreds who doesn't appear to have said anything nasty. I also don't understand what 'feeling like a woman' means, I am trying to understand this whole issue, but this whole forum is just dripping with hostility which is very wearing to wade through. Maybe I'm just socialised to be 'nice' , but I would love to have a real, open discussion about the whole thing without the snarky comments which don't really add anything.

so lets hear how a male can be defined as a woman without pandering to sexist stereotypes?

You'll never hear it. It can't be done. Because being a woman isn't feeling.

a feeling

@VeronicaDinner, yep, woman here too.

Am I being accused of being a man? Let me get out my MN bingo card. Absolutely classic.

You're not being accused of anything. No one knows who you are. Don't you get that yet? Are you new to the Internet?

Any chance of answering my questions, lime?

@VeronicaDinner maybe we have to upload foof pics to be believed lol not a chance

I know you are new here OP but Mumsnet has an entire topic called
"Ask me anything" for AMAs and there is also a "Chat" topic for general chat.

I think these threads should be moved to "Ask me Anything" personally.

This topic is "Feminism Chat" for women to talk about women's rights and issues that effect women. Se we can chat without centering male people (for a change).

There are many more of these exact threads you might like to have a read through, OP as you might find what other transsexuals saying interesting or useful.

eg
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3239961-I-am-a-transwoman-ask-me-anything (2018)

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lgbt_children/3254626-I-Am-Transgender-Ask-Me-Anything (2018)

I do wish you well, but the feminist viewpoint on transwomen is fairly consistent (ie that they are male, so questions will come from that starting point) and you might find a wider range of questions from people on another topic.

I've found this one example, I'm sure there are others, and it does come over as unnecessarily aggressive and hostile

Reflect for a moment that if any gender critical woman announced herself as such and presented on a trans activist board saying I'm GC ask me anything, they certainly wouldn't experience posters politely wondering if possibly people were sounding a tad hostile and unappreciative/unwelcoming and should behave better. It would be straight into the rape and death threats, and quite likely trying to find the woman's family and employers to try and actively damage her life as much as possible.

Worth considering too that many posters have seen TW arrive with an AMA, stating, as the OP does, that MN is a problem and obviously it's because women here need educating to understand what TW want and need from them. That is in itself misogyny in action: there's never consideration that women here have extensively educated themselves, have genuine, well thought out, reasoned and lived experienced informed reasons why they have a need for women only spaces and why this is, in fact, cultural genocide for women. It's not that they don't get it. It's that no one is listening to them, because - as the OP is demonstrating - they are merely women so TW's feelings and needs and interests must take precedence. Male born people's needs always are more important.

Please don't ask other women to be ok with that. Or to nicely, politely, collaborate in their own oppression. Or to participate in the lying and staying silent about facts like not feeling like a woman, just having a biological reality that no one male born can share, or understand or participate in however sad that reality may be. Women are human too.

@LimeKiwi

I might change my username to Ernest Hemmingway and have done with it. Big swinging dick coming through!

Great post, Michelle

Please don't ask other women to be ok with that. Or to nicely, politely, collaborate in their own oppression

yup. I'm not mad about people trying to police the tone of other posters or the board as a whole.

Lol at the swearing. That’s normal chat in this house full of teenagers and their mates.

Am several pages back but have to just give a round of applause to ByGrabtharsHammarWhatASaving's courtroom drama starring philosophy and scientific method