Ama - transwoman

[Indigo9]

I've heard about Mumsnet for years in regards to views on transgender women. But until today I had never visited the site. I've spent hours reading posts related to transwomen and the gender ID bill. I do think there is a little bit of a disconnect with regards to who and what we are. So I've decided to setup this profile with a mind to answering questions you may have about being transgender. I'm not in to hate or insults, so you won't see me participate in any mud slinging, name calling or anything else. I will, however, answer any legitimate questions from my own perspective. I do not speak for the whole trans community and would not try to, but will happily share what I know.

@SophoclesTheFox

Yes, you've got that wrong. And I'm quite sure MN can back me up on that if want to check with them.

Whoever said my response was aggressive and said I wouldn't talk to people like that in real life, I've told people they're 'chatting shit' a few times. It's a common phrase where I live and if that's the worst example you could find of aggression then your point is ridiculous, because it wasn't aggressive.

No, I don't need to be more explicit. You can read the thread. But you already know what I'm referring to.

oh yes, forced teaming. one of my least favourite things

howling at the sock fail btw!

They can't really say much more other than that they feel like a woman, can they? What else is there to say?

They can say what feeling like a woman actually means.
...Although they can't because it is impossible to quantify individual internal brain feelings as a way to mass-categorise.

Hence why the world runs on objective facts, not internal essences.

Read it again then.

Love your username by the way, Veronica Heathers, right?

Great pate, but I’ve really got to motor.

I don’t think I have got it wrong, by the way. But I should get off the internet and go and do some stuff I need to do.

@BuzzPeakWankBobbly

So you presumably can't tell us what being a woman feels like then? But you can tell us that you feel like one, right?

Please - politely - can you link or paste the comments you are calling bullying, because if I at least know what you are classing as bullying, then at least we can debate something tangible.

You will never, ever get this from that poster. They'll just say it's there and you can see it for yourself. It's a derailing/attention seeking technique. Ignore it.

Yes, it is Heathers!

Please, I beg you. Treat me like I am 5 years old and show me what you think are these bullying words. I have read the thread from front to back and then again.

The burden of proof is on the person making the claim. Just saying "read it" is not proof and makes you come across as posting in nothing more than bad faith when I am politely trying to engage with you and understand your POV.

If you don't see the problem with deciding that what determines one's sex is a whole set of, in the case of women, largely damaging and old fashioned stereotypes, then I can't help you.

Datun I agree as far as that goes. I think there may be something more to being transgender than identifying with stereotypes associated with the opposite sex. Not disputing that these clichés abound and are problematic. But I'm not even debating that so thanks but I don't think I need your help?! Just stating my opinion that taking the piss out of a couple of comments isn't a helpful way to have a conversation.

So you presumably can't tell us what being a woman feels like then? But you can tell us that you feel like one, right?

No. But then again I have never claimed to "feel" like anything. I am a woman, but I am just me, living my life as a female, from birth to this minute, and all the experiences that brings.

Not "feeling" anything, just living.

I'm not getting into any faux innocent claims that people believe this has been a charmingly kind and entirely fair attempt to understand the position of another human being. You know perfectly well what I'm referring to. I'm not copying and pasting an entire thread for you when you have a copy in front of you.

If I hadn't posted anything with gray in it, why did someone say I had?
Not as easy to scroll up and down pages on phone so I assumed I had.
This thread gets weirder.
Definitely not socking on the thread either

cellibabies

Saying I can't help you was more a turn of phrase, really.

There can't be anything more to it than association with stereotypes, because humans cannot change sex.

How ingrained and distressing that it is, would absolutely be on a spectrum, I agree.

For men with AGP it will be all about the stereotypes. Because it's sexual.

For homosexual transsexuals, it's also about the stereotypes, but not motivated by a fetish.

And yes, I agree, it's often not any one thing.

But, the point is, none of this means that men are women. And they should not be granted women's rights on the basis of it.

I absolutely couldn't care less about what the OP does with their life, in the nicest possible way to the OP. It doesn't affect me.

I have a strong preference for female only health care providers that I'd like respected, so it affects me.
I have a daughter who I don't want to be forced to share changing facilities with boys at school, so it affects me.
My best friend is currently sectioned on a female only hospital ward, so it affects me.
The changing area at my local leisure centre is now mixed sex with inadequate provisions of private cubicles, meaning that I no longer use it, so it affects me.
I actually give a shit about the women using DV shelters, homeless hostels, and prisons, even though i don't personally know any people who use them, so it affects me.
I don't want my almost school age gender non conforming son being told that he's really a girl, so it concerns me.

What do you want the OP to do to explain their actions to you? They can't really say much more other than that they feel like a woman, can they?

If they can't say any more than that then they need to own up to that and accept that replacing the current scientifically valid definition of woman with this ineffable feelings stuff is an absurdity. People can swing their arm around as much as they like until it hits me in the face, then, if they want to keep doing it, they better have a bloody good reason why and "because I wanna" isn't good enough.

The reason that LimeKiwi's mind has been changed on the trans issue, is because they are a goady little shit stirrer who found a new way of entertaining themselves for hours on end (ie. Derailing MN threads with absolute bullshit of zero substance) .

cellibabies I think there may be something more to being transgender than identifying with stereotypes associated with the opposite sex.

I found this enlightening

medium.com/@sue.donym1984/the-elephant-in-the-room-dc822144a81b

So you can't explain what being a woman feels like. And the OP can't explain it either. Neither can I. Neither can anyone. We don't have any way of getting into someone's head. So how do you know the OP doesn't feel like a woman?