Ama - transwoman

[Indigo9]

I've heard about Mumsnet for years in regards to views on transgender women. But until today I had never visited the site. I've spent hours reading posts related to transwomen and the gender ID bill. I do think there is a little bit of a disconnect with regards to who and what we are. So I've decided to setup this profile with a mind to answering questions you may have about being transgender. I'm not in to hate or insults, so you won't see me participate in any mud slinging, name calling or anything else. I will, however, answer any legitimate questions from my own perspective. I do not speak for the whole trans community and would not try to, but will happily share what I know.

What the fuck is thinking like a woman? When my boyfriend comes home from work he puts comfy clothes on as well, is he now a woman? You're chatting shit.

I've found this one example, I'm sure there are others, and it does come over as unnecessarily aggressive and hostile - and performed for the audience. No-one would be that aggressive in 'real life', surely? Well, most wouldn't. And it is not feminine socialisaton that makes me say that, but just some basic human respect.

Until the OP proves otherwise I'm prepared to take them at their word, and treat them with a measure of respect, even though I can see many holes in the paradigm.

It was threads like this that made me change my mind on trans issues

Same. But not in the way you mean. Opposite way round for me

gray rocked

Are you friends with the OP, Veronica? That's an American spelling.

@LimeKiwi

I know. It's super silly playground stuff. I'm going to recipe you if you keep disagreeing with me!

Justhadathought - that’s not aggressive. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

Until the OP proves otherwise I'm prepared to take them at their word,

What word? That they think like a woman?

Perhaps it's that the thing that makes you a woman is changing into comfy clothes after work, Datun?

Am I friends with Veronica? No lol FFS.
Blame my stupid phone for auto correcting to gray instead of the perfectly fine English spelling of grey.
Maybe my phone identifies as American lol

The level of what is rude or not needs to be taken in the context of this being a website where you can be called an atrocious cunt for having or not having a toilet brush

I think if you are sensitive to swear words or people expressing themselves forcefully, mumsnet is not the forum for you

I have just advanced searched the word 'bollocks'. It's been used 59 times since yesterday. I'm sure MNHQ will be deleting each and every one of those posts....

It's all too stupid. Those of you who are objecting to the women here calling this a bunch of shit, please explain, in that case, what thinking like a woman is??

@VeronicaDinner soup recipes tend to be popular

A male born individual comes on who claims the illogic nonsense that not only would they be beaten up in a man's toilet, because they're trans, they also pass unequivocally in the women's toilet.

Is there a word for believing two contradictory statements at the same time?

Indeed, I too am happy to take the OP at their word. None of us can define our human experience. If OP says that they're more comfortable as a woman, there's plenty of room in my head to accept that. I don't think it diminishes or affects my experience of being a woman at all.

Justhadathought - that’s not aggressive. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

Swearing at strangers is usually considered/experienced an aggressive act. I certainly see and feel that post as aggressive, and unnecessarily so. It is possible to debate and find logical holes without swearing.

I wonder, is today we're going to get the elusive explanation that Lime says she has posted countless times? The one that doesn't just boil down to "a person who says they are a woman is a woman"?

The word bollocks isn't transphobic for FFS - didn't see that post but I bet the context had something to do with it or the phrase used

Swearing at strangers is usually considered/experienced an aggressive act compulsory on Mumsnet

fixed that for you

If OP says that they're more comfortable as a woman, there's plenty of room in my head to accept that. I don't think it diminishes or affects my experience of being a woman at all.

Of course it doesn't diminish your experience of being a woman (if you are a woman). How could it?

The OP might be more comfortable presenting in a feminine way. But they're not presenting as a woman. Because the definition of woman is not based on sartorial choices.

It was threads like this that made me change my mind on trans issues

Same. But not in the way you mean. Opposite way round for me

Can you expand a bit more on this, LimeKiwi? What did you think before, and was there anything in particular that was said that made you change your mind?

Do you think people can change sex?

Do you think girls and women have the right to privacy from males when undressed or using the toilet?

Do you think it's possible to be 'born in the wrong body'?

Indeed, I too am happy to take the OP at their word. None of us can define our human experience. If OP says that they're more comfortable as a woman, there's plenty of room in my head to accept that. I don't think it diminishes or affects my experience of being a woman at all.

Saying, though, that you feel more comfortable as a woman makes no sense in reality, other than in the sense that you are rejecting gendered expectations and don't identify with them. But feeling something is not the same as actually being something. Being a woman is a material reality. The OP is a trans woman, not a woman.

Oh yes.