Dads to be are 2nd class citizens on the labour ward because they don't get offered a cup of tea...

[FromDespairToHere]

Hope the link works: www.thedadsnet.com/forums/topic/2nd-class-citizens/?fbclid=IwAR2ah6KP7KIIY1RD5EebUKOBdolCcuI6w2kDndAiZoTBqc2WVWif-HFCeaY

How dare he not be the centre of attention while his wife is giving birth?

Thankfully most of the other men on the forum are quick enough to tell him he's a knob.

Sorry I've not been back to the thread, however I have read LCM's constant derailment with complete bemusement that someone could twist every tiny thing into me me me!

And to defend myself to the PP who took exception to the use of the plural dads in my title: the author of the blog was talking about dads plural.

I posted it because I was gobsmacked at the entitlement he showed, although cheered that other men handed him his arse. I also made that clear in my OP.

I have no personal experience of a male birthing partner, entitled or otherwise, as my ex pissed off when I was 7 weeks and my mum was my birthing partner.

When I had my dc the nurses said that they used to have a small kitchen with basics in it (bread, milk, cereal, butter, jam, tea) so that they could give newly delivered mothers something if they arrived on the ward outside of mealtimes as is often the way.

They have this in the hospital I gave birth in (not UK), in the dayroom there was a cupboard with tea and coffee and crispbread (like ryevita) and a fridge with yoghurts, butter, single pack cheese slices and you could store your own food in there too if you labelled it. I guess no one takes the piss because they've had that for years and still have.

Because scientists haven’t yet developed a way to make babies without them

Thats funny...and quick

The argument isnt that the fathers should be looked after or given special treatment. There are only 2 important people at birth, however certainly in my case i was scared, unsure and nervous. What would of been amazing would be a nurse or anyone to point out a water station, coffee machine and somewhere to get food and not even just for me. A few polite words and not only would I have felt reassured I could actually have helped my wife but also taken some of the pressure off the nurses.

Oh for goodness sake single you're a grown up if you wanted to find a tap or coffee machine you can get off your bum and find one. Almost every new father is overwhelmed and nervous yet they manage to find out how to feed themselves

And if you need a nurse to say nice words for you in order to help your wife then I feel immensely sorry for her

A few polite words and not only would I have felt reassured I could actually have helped my wife but also taken some of the pressure off the nurses.

So you didn’t help your wife because you didn’t get enough attention from the nurses? Wow, you’re a real catch aren’t you...

I have just asked dh what he ate during my labour , he hasn't a clue. I was in a couple of days as had to have an emergency caesarian , ds2 was in quite a lot of trouble during labour . Dh managed to feed himself during that time, he also was able to look after ds while I was unconscious, the man must be a genius.

A few polite words and not only would I have felt reassured I could actually have helped my wife but also taken some of the pressure off the nurses.
I hardly think that you could have remotely 'taken pressure off the nurses* if you were not even capable of finding a water tap on your own.

😂 at Wauden

Its not even as if we know where anything is either. Being a woman doesnt leave us with some in built sat nav of hospitals and canteens.

If we are in there with our child or up and about in early labour we have to figure this out fir ourselves too you know. What w dont do is sit there all helpless and pathetic waiting for someone to see how helpless and pathetic i am and give me a guided tour and walk me through how the kettle in the parent room works.

Its like all aspects of parenting. I had never changed a nappy in my life. I was as clueless as the next new dad. Still i got on with it. Rather than use it as an escuse to not be alone with a baby

Don't know if it's been mentioned before, but if this labour was the UK, those 'nurses' would actually have been midwives.

Unit full of women in labour but the midwives are supposed to be giving out pats on the head to the males or they won't be able to support their labouring partner.

There are only 2 important people at birth,

Yes, the birth mother and the baby.

And please, for the love of heaven, it's would have; not 'would of'.

'point out a water station, coffee machine and somewhere to get food'

Am lol at this :D

Of course there are different configurations to hosps but all the ones I've been in, in the last 20 years at least, have had lists of things are on which floors, signposts, and a person near the entrance to help with queries and direct people.

In addition, if that still hadn't given enough info, it is possible to ask people. Eg widwife comes and does some observations. Hello midwife thanks so much by the way so you know where I can get a cuppa? Cafe on 1st floor thanks :)

But No.

Man needs to be personally signposted to any and all facilities he might need by medical staff, like flight attendant at beginning of flight running down safety blurb...

These men manage to hold down jobs ffs and often enjoy enhanced pay over women I mean this one can't work out how to get a drink in a UK hosp or even ask its hopeless.

Do hospitals still offer tours for expectant parents? They certainly used to - I remember going on one when preggo with my eldest (now 18). It was the last session of the ante natal classes, if I recall correctly.

Obviously, some women will have premature labours before such a session takes place, but the vast majority of dads will have plenty of time to get acquainted with the hospital layout (and the need to bring snacks and drinks, as it’s usually part of the list-of-things-to-pack-for-hospital).

My second baby was born 200 miles from the first hospital, and while I didn’t need a second set of ante natal classes, we still got invited on the tour session 🤷‍♀️

Well they did tours in 2009 in my area. Also people often give birth in their nearest hospital. I had been to the hospital numerous times prior to birth, to visit soneone and for my scans. Its unlikely the hospital will be the equivalent of landing on a new planet. How do these people manage when they go on holiday. Do they just starve because no one has told them where the restaurants are?

There are only 2 important people at birth. That'll be the father and the midwife who says 'a few nice words' to the father so that he will be reassured that she will drop everything else to bring him tea on demand.