How would you feel about having a male midwide

[Lardlizard]

Just interested in the points of view

@HalfBloodPrincess I’ve had 4DC and barring my last birth I always had female midwives who were fantastic but my last birth they failed to believe I was in labour and so I wasn’t given pain relief and I almost dropped my newborn on the floor.

Don’t mind doctor but midwife prefer a woman, I had a male go in for membrane sweep l once and his hands were so big it was worse than the birth

Sorry I haven't read the thread !

I wouldn't have liked it at all. I didn't even like male doctors getting involved! Some very primal instinct.

And I would have said no to a man, I wouldn't have just put up with it.

ARDuke

Don’t do that, it’s not comparable and women of colour are sick of being used to try and invalidate women’s boundaries. Jewish and black women are still women, they are NOT comparable to men. In any way.

AfterLaughter I can believe that, my 2nd was born 30 minutes after I was given 2 paracetamol and told to go for a walk!

I also had a male nurse asking me about breastfeeding. If I could have told him to fuck off I would have. Just no. Instead I said it's fine thanks. It wasn't fine. Took me weeks to get the hang of it. I think if he'd been a woman I might have admitted I was struggling. Maybe not.

@HalfBloodPrincess 10 mins for DC4! I was up on maternity as my waters had broken hours before, DC3 was born 40 mins after my waters broke so Consultant told me to go in immediately. But nothing happened for hours. I woke up contracting, within minutes there was no let up between them. Male MW wheelchaired me (knelt up!) down to Labour Ward where they argued I wasn’t in labour. I basically got up out the wheelchair, walked across the room, grabbed hold of the bed and gave birth stood up If he hadn’t been knelt behind me ready to catch I dread to think. The other 3 were still chattering in the hallway

Arduke there are women on here describing the sexual assaults they have been through, that you could not understand why them not wanting to be intimately examined by a man is different to requesting a white nurse for example is astounding.

No sexual assaults here.

I just didn't want a man anywhere near me.

And that's fine!

@Arduke No, just no. Not comparable.

A family member of mine would be utterly distraught if they had a male midwife or male nurse in that area. And for good fucking reason.

I was alright with a male, she wouldn’t be and I’ll defend her right to say no till my last breath.

Sorry haven't read the whole thread. I had a male midwife when in (early) stages of labour with my DD. I was a bit surprised it was a man but as someone else said upthread didn't really feel comfortable saying no, and thought it would be ok. It wasn't. He said some very insensitive things to me that significantly contributed to my developing ptsd. I'm expecting my second now and have already discussed with my community midwife that I don't want a male midwife.

Interesting views some of you have. I wonder if you would say the same if the topic was "how would you feel about having a jewish/black midwife?"

Since Jewish and black women have all the same anatomy that I do, then it's absurd to think that it's similar.

Although I would strongly object to a Jewish or black male midwife being forced on me. As I would object to a white male midwife.

I had a few black female midwives no issues at all. No idea if I had a Jewish midwife but if she was a woman that would have been fine.

What a spiteful comment.

Jewish women are women ffs as are black women.

We are talking about men here ffs.

“Interesting views some of you have. I wonder if you would say the same if the topic was "how would you feel about having a jewish/black midwife?"
Well, if the Jewish/black midwife was a man, yes I would say exactly the same......

I cannot believe that in 2019 we are still asking these questions. What if your female midwife was a lesbian. Come on people this is a non issue. I would want a qualified midwife, be it Male, female, gay, lesbian,transgender , whatever I would just want to be looked after and deliver a healthy baby.
27 years ago I had a male midwife and he kept my baby alive.

What if your female midwife was a lesbian

Let me think about that.

Aren't lesbians women? So totally fine.

Interesting views some of you have. I wonder if you would say the same if the topic was "how would you feel about having a jewish/black midwife?"

Oh wow, did you mean to be so racist?

Levels of idiocy on here. Ffs

Fazackerley
What exactly do you think a Male is going to do or think when he looks at your crowning baby that would be different to a female, I don’t follow why it is so unacceptable to have a Male then?

If they were the only person in the delivery room with me, I wouldn't like it. But I ended up with 13 people in there, men and women, so it wasn't an issue what sex they were.

All of you who are saying no I wouldn’t allow it are actually talking rubbish. If your baby was in distress and the only midwife who could save it was a Male, would you tell him no then. Fuck off would you !

I don’t care what ptsd problems you have, what religion you are, you would love that Male midwife at that very moment he saved you and your child.

I don’t care what ptsd problems you have, what religion you are,

Evidently.

An emergency situation is obviously different.
But this is about when women have a choice, and they should always have a choice about who touches their bodies.

Like I said earlier in the thread I wouldn't have blinked about this when I was younger but one of my best friends was horrendously abused by a surgeon who did her breast reconstruction surgery and he had been practising and abusing for years before he was caught.