How would you feel about having a male midwide

[Lardlizard]

Just interested in the points of view

Lass as I said I don’t dispute the care you had and so long as you and the baby were well and happy it is immaterial.

I did want to highlight that postnatal care has been significantly downgraded from having daily visits as a matter of course, written in the rules, to being lucky if you get one at all.
To me it is all part of a narrative chipping away at women’s rights and needs from many directions.
You have women like Cherie Blair boasting of going back to work after two weeks - leaving aside most women aren’t in high earning jobs that can finance the back office support for this, the nanny and the cleaner etc, but many women need significantly longer to recover physically and mentally. The husband of the woman who died in the link I posted admitted he had got cross with her for being ill as he wanted to be out and about parading the baby around. She was dying of sepsis!
But this is all downplayed, women are meant to snap back into their jeans, off to work, baby farmed out to a nursery, breastfeeding a thing of the past. Who gains from reduced rates of breastfeeding? Baby milk manufacturers and employers for starters.
So why bother with maternity leave? Oh right, let’s cut back and make a saving there.
Who is losing out ? Women and babies.

Then we have the “It’s the 21st century, grow up and stop being so inhibited/prudish of course a man can do the job” brigade - but normalising it means that women who object whether for reasons of modesty/religion/prior abuse or whatever are made to feel troublesome and not given an opportunity to object. In which case why should anyone object to unisex loos and changing rooms? It’s the 21st century. Biology doesn’t matter any more.

And if popping out a baby is no trouble to a woman then there should be no problem with women renting out their wombs, providing surrogacy services for the growing number of people who want to avail themselves of the gestational services of another woman.

Women and babies losing out every time.

*I wasn't visited by a community midwife. No one mentioned such a person and I wasn't offered one. I have never heard of such a thing until this thread. A general health visitor attached to the GP surgery came round twice after I came home from hospital (she was pretty useless)

Does that boggle your mind sufficiently?*

How bizarre.

Oh your opinions and arguments were boggling my mind long before this post, dear.

Excellent post FannyCann

Just to add that this thread was posted in 2019, not the 90s. The fact that you've never heard of community midwives who now do all hospital appointments (except consultant ones if necessary) during pregnancy and do numerous home visits before and after birth, with responsibility for your physical and mental health, means perhaps you should inform yourself before stridently arguing on threads about midwifry (with the assumption that midwives perform a role in births and that's it).

Do they do numerous home visits before and after birth?

All I keep hearing from friends having babies is how few appointments they now get.

My DIL has never received a home visit by a community midwife?

I’ve gave birth from mid 90’s to 2010 I was shocked how few appointments I had with the last compared to the first. Friends who’ve given birth recently tell me it’s even worse now.

Visits before birth may depend on circumstances, but you are supposed to be visited several times in the 10 days/fortnight after birth, and I know some women who were visited for much longer, due to particular issues (not 'serious' issues).

6 weeks in one case.

Whether this varies between regions I don't know.

Their remit for physical & mental health issues (as well as baby health) seems massive now. Everything from inspecting wounds to breastfeeding to trying to detect domestic abuse (from pregnancy on); among things I feel would make a male one off-putting for many women. Some of whom have confirmed that in this thread.

I think the remit for detecting dv (like many other issues) might well be reliant on a self completed tick box form.

I really don't think a midwife forms a therapeutic relationship with every patient such that they feel comfortable revealing such information.

I think the remit for detecting dv (like many other issues) might well be reliant on a self completed tick box form.

What do you base that on?

On my experiences of midwives plus many many hospital appointments where I am always given a questionnaire to fill in ahead of a new appt. The dr then runs through my answers.

When were you experiences of midwives?

And what was your experience of domestic abuse 'checking' with them?

The fact that midwives check for DV (because it often starts or increases with pregnancy) is another reason I think the sex exemptions should be used, like they should be for refuges.

I see, several times a week, pressures that the NHS is under. There is no way that a midwife on the booking in visit has time to form a bond with a woman that guarantees they will feel comfortable disclosing this. It might be the first, and last time they ever meet.

In fact many ante natal clinics have stickers in the toilet so that women can put a sticker on their urine sample to alert staff about dv. So actually how well is it discussed?

(and I know why the stickers exist - so that men present don't know, but still, I doubt that a brief chat at a booking in appt is enough to build trust necessary to disclose)

Oh your opinions and arguments were boggling my mind long before this post, dear

More bizarre than the nonsense you were spouting about midwives should be mothers? As if every experience of pregnancy and birth is the same.

More bizarre than the nonsense you were spouting about midwives should be mothers? As if every experience of pregnancy and birth is the same.

Your reading comprehension isn't strong is it? I've had to state things over and over ad nauseum in response to your posts. I have not once at any point said midwives should be mothers, only that I'd prefer a midwife treating me to be a mother but would in no way reject or attempt to change if she were not.

And you're the person who had been arguing vociferously in this thread while being unaware of the existence of community midwives and what they do; which suggests a level of ignorance and arrogance that makes me think this'll be the last post i'll waste responding to you.

The fact that midwives check for DV (because it often starts or increases with pregnancy) is another reason I think the sex exemptions should be used, like they should be for refuges.

I agree that comfort discussing/disclosing is another issue alongside vaginal discharge etc discussion, perineal wound checking, breast feeding, ante and post natal depression etc in which it seems women would be more comfortable with a female than male midwife.

On my experiences of midwives plus many many hospital appointments where I am always given a questionnaire to fill in ahead of a new appt. The dr then runs through my answers.

I doubt that a brief chat at a booking in appt is enough to build trust necessary to disclose)

What are you talking about?

I asked if you had ever been asked about DV by a midwife and if so how? You ignored that and went from saying you presumed it was a check box on a form, to saying it's asked once on a booking in appt and used the words "I see" even though noone clarified how it is done (RepealTheGra didn't, just said midwives check). Are you referring to something you looked up or ..?

You're still incorrect; pregnant women are not asked once during a booking in appt. And incidentally the relative size of community midwifery teams means it's quite common to see the same midwife more than once, plus you have a particular midwife assigned to you for routine things.

Anyway whether women are likely to disclose at all - is a separate argument re. How much less or more likely they are to disclose to a male midwife.

Ok. No I have never been asked by any midwife.

No.

The "I see" relates to what I observe on my many visits to hospital outpatient depts ie they are all incredibly busy and there is no time for much talking. Just in, ask relevant questions, do what needs doing, onto the next patient.

I doubt midwifery clinics are any different.