Transgender child at DD’s school. Please help me write to the head?

[Comeymemo]

DD attends an independent co-Ed British international school. We are in a jurisdiction that provides for protection against sex discrimination, including in education. This country has no protection against discrimination on the basis of gender, and only recognises transgender persons when the person has undergone full reassignment surgery (including sterilisation). In other words, there is no right to self gender identification where we live.

The school is split in houses, all of which are either all boys or all girls. The school has a mix of boarders and non boarders.

We recently received a letter from the head, saying that a male pupil will be moving to a girl’s house after half term as the pupil is transgender. The letter states that the pupil will use the unisex accessible toilet including to undress (eg for sports). The letter does not state if the pupil is a boarder.

I want to write to the school outlining my concerns and would welcome any help.

The areas where I would like to get reassurance are:

• confirmation that the pupil will not be allowed to compete against girls or to be in girls’ teams for any sports
• confirmation that the pupil will not be allowed to play female parts in any dramatic productions (DD is into sports and drama and I don’t think it fair that female roles should be given to boys, as male parts are never available to girls)
• confirmation that the school will never allow the pupil to board in a girls’ house or to have access to girls’ boarding houses
• confirmation that girls will never be allowed or expected to share a bedroom with the pupil on any overnight trip
• confirmation that the school are not altering their records to reflect the pupil’s so-called self-ID, so that the pupil remains listed as male
• confirmation that the pupil is not taking the place of any girl on any awards or recognition list, such as for school prefect, scholarships or prizes that are only available to girls.
• would it be reasonable to request that DD is not in the same house as that pupil?

At this stage I don’t want to engage into a broader debate with the school over human rights, feminist theory or GC theory, so I’m trying to stay as down to earth as possible and seek clarification on practical areas.

Is there anything else you can think of that would be relevant in this context? Please feel free to direct me to other threads if this has been done before.

Many thanks 🙏

Ofgs not the souls again 😂😂😂

Op it is clear and you have stated that you oppose the concept and reality of people being Transgender. That is your choice. That does, unfortunately it you not give you any rights to impose your dissatisfaction upon others. The school will I suspect he following legal guidelines and if so, whatever your views are, they are irrelevant big you are opposed to legal rules being implemented, your rightful choice is to leave the school.

On your points:

- confirmation that the pupil will not be allowed to play female parts in any dramatic productions (DD is into sports and drama and I don’t think it fair that female roles should be given to boys, as male parts are never available to girls) the spirts debate is a relevant one as there are physical advantages to a pupil who was once a male or who may still biologically be a male. I don't know the details in this case. For drabs however, this dies not stand. There us no advantage to a transgender pupil over any other girls auditioning for a part. So your argument falls short.

- confirmation that the school will never allow the pupil to board in a girls’ house or to have access to girls’ boarding houses
- confirmation that girls will never be allowed or expected to share a bedroom with the pupil on any overnight trip I suspect both of these issues will be legalistically regulated.
- confirmation that the school are not altering their records to reflect the pupil’s so-called self-ID, so that the pupil remains listed as male what possible concern is this if yours? Seriously? What? Your issue with this just snacks of hatred of trans people as it in no way affects your life of the life of your Dd.
- confirmation that the pupil is not taking the place of any girl on any awards or recognition list, such as for school prefect, scholarships or prizes that are only available to girls. once the pupil is fully self IDd as a female, you have little chance on this. Because once again, they are in no way advantaged unlike in spirts where there may be issues.
- would it be reasonable to request that DD is not in the same house as that pupil? would it be reasonable of you to request that your Dd is not in the same house as black pupils? Or those with mild ASD? Or Jewish pupils? You have your answer.

Hi everyone,
This seems like a good opportunity to intervene on this thread. We had wanted, as ever, to allow for discussion but this does seem rather to have descended into tit-for-tat and we're not sure it is achieving anything any more. What we'd like to do is lock the thread now rather than be forced to delete it for becoming a bunfight. We hope that meets with general approval.