Transgender child at DD’s school. Please help me write to the head?

[Comeymemo]

DD attends an independent co-Ed British international school. We are in a jurisdiction that provides for protection against sex discrimination, including in education. This country has no protection against discrimination on the basis of gender, and only recognises transgender persons when the person has undergone full reassignment surgery (including sterilisation). In other words, there is no right to self gender identification where we live.

The school is split in houses, all of which are either all boys or all girls. The school has a mix of boarders and non boarders.

We recently received a letter from the head, saying that a male pupil will be moving to a girl’s house after half term as the pupil is transgender. The letter states that the pupil will use the unisex accessible toilet including to undress (eg for sports). The letter does not state if the pupil is a boarder.

I want to write to the school outlining my concerns and would welcome any help.

The areas where I would like to get reassurance are:

• confirmation that the pupil will not be allowed to compete against girls or to be in girls’ teams for any sports
• confirmation that the pupil will not be allowed to play female parts in any dramatic productions (DD is into sports and drama and I don’t think it fair that female roles should be given to boys, as male parts are never available to girls)
• confirmation that the school will never allow the pupil to board in a girls’ house or to have access to girls’ boarding houses
• confirmation that girls will never be allowed or expected to share a bedroom with the pupil on any overnight trip
• confirmation that the school are not altering their records to reflect the pupil’s so-called self-ID, so that the pupil remains listed as male
• confirmation that the pupil is not taking the place of any girl on any awards or recognition list, such as for school prefect, scholarships or prizes that are only available to girls.
• would it be reasonable to request that DD is not in the same house as that pupil?

At this stage I don’t want to engage into a broader debate with the school over human rights, feminist theory or GC theory, so I’m trying to stay as down to earth as possible and seek clarification on practical areas.

Is there anything else you can think of that would be relevant in this context? Please feel free to direct me to other threads if this has been done before.

Many thanks 🙏

But they are . Sex is not a feeling inside sometimes head

Nobody's said sex is? Maybe it comes down to whether you think gender is a real thing and not made up

Gender is a social construct. Not everyone buys into it or conforms.

Changing rooms and toilets etc should remain sex segregated. Gender is not relevant here

Changing rooms and toilets etc should remain sex segregated

The OP said in this case it was, so not a problem for the child? So why the want from some to segregate them further? If not to do with safeguarding?

They are in the girls house though.

If houses are segregated by sex then the child shouldn't be in that house .

Except it is conversion therapy. For gay people

If someone tells you that they are trans gender are you in any position to tell them they aren't, they are in fact gay?

Exactly, how can another person be like "you're deluded/mentally unwell, you're gay really?
Just... jeez

People with body dysmorphia, in lots of cases, have cosmetic surgery in order to align their body with how they feel it should look. How many people have you heard of receiving counselling instead of breast implants, botox, lip fillers, a nose job?

However this has been highlighted recently as an area for both concern and protections.

Guardian "Superdrug tightens mental health checks on Botox customers
After NHS criticism, enhanced screening will check for signs of body dysmorphic disorder"
(extract)
The high-street beauty and pharmacy chain has acted after NHS bosses criticised it for not conducting “medically responsible” checks before customers start treatment.

Nail varnish fine. But Botox and lip fillers? Come on, Superdrug
Sonia Sodha
Sonia Sodha
Read more
It has agreed to introduce enhanced screening specifically designed to see if those asking to have Botox or similar anti-ageing procedures have body dysmorphic disorder (BDD).

People with BDD worry obsessively about their appearance and some may seek cosmetic treatments or surgery to correct what they they see as flaws.

Prof Stephen Powis, NHS England’s medical director, welcomed Superdrug’s move. After the firm announced last September that it was making Botox available in its outlets, he had demanded it do everything possible to protect potentially vulnerable customers. (continues)

Superdrug said its enhanced screening would draw on a questionnaire approved by the Body Dysmorphic Disorder Foundation, but would not use it in its entirety.

Kitty Wallace, a trustee of the foundation, said most people with BDD remain unsatisfied with their appearance even after paying for steps to try to improve it.

“Studies show that fewer than 10% of patients with BDD are satisfied with the results of cosmetic procedures,” she said.

“It is important that these measures are in place to protect such individuals from potentially damaging and unnecessary procedures.

“Although their anxiety might ease temporarily, they will often find themselves fixating on another part of their body that they want to change.”

Wallace suggested Superdrug should refer anyone identified through its new screening process as having BDD to their GP and Mind, the mental health charity." (continues)

www.theguardian.com/society/2019/jan/19/superdrugs-tightens-mental-health-checks-on-botox-customers

Why are charities and NHS able to understand and try to support people with body dysmorphia from unneccesary and detrimental interventions and yet the charities concerned with children who are understood to have gender dysphoria seek affirmation?

Why the disparate framing?

So it's just a coincidence that in.Iran where being gay gets you killed that 8 members of the women's football team are actually not biological women?

Do you agree that lesbians being told to accept penises are in fact victims of homophobia?

Oh and in that training recording the woman said

"If you are a girl who identifies as a boy and you are attracted to girls. You are straight"

What is that if not gay conversion?

Not all. But the ideology is inherently homophobic.

Many children who would otherwise be gay or lesbian are now identifying as trans

Not all. But the ideology is inherently homophobic

Not all? That's not what you said in your other comment.
You said they were gay.

So how do you feel about lesbians being told they are trans phobic?

Do you think if a man identified as a woman whatever that means and is attracted to women. Are they a lesbian?

Rowan. Yes

*rowantrees

Is that completely irrelevant quote plop a call to arms to try and make anyone with another viewpoint come across as an abuser?
wtf

Given you a way to avoid answering the question though.

Fo you think.men identifying as women are lesbians

Given you a way to avoid answering the question though.

If we're going down this route of convo, could say it's given you a handy deflection to divert away from the bile you're spouting that all transpeople are gay and just need correcting.

No one who is gay needs " correcting"

It's very clear on some of the Ted talks how one of the parents was reluctant to accept the possibility of an effeminate gay son . Better to have a straight girl..

So do you think that if someone identifies as a woman and is attracted to women they are a lesbian?

How do you feel about the lesbians thrown out of the March for their peaceful protest to speak out that lesbians are female homosexuals for being trans phobic?

Do you not think that the likes of RD on you tube telling lesbians they are transphobic for not accepting women with penises as sexual partners, are basically pushing for corrective rape.

Maybe it comes down to whether you think gender is a real thing and not made up

Sheila Jeffries identifies transgenderism as part of male sexual rights movement and why children are relevent to this.
(short speech)
'What Is Gender?'
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoaCr2qtC-w

Maybe it comes down to whether you think gender is a real thing and not made up

No. It comes down to this:

1. You are an adherent to the religion that says there is such a thing as a gendered soul.

2. Many of us here are adherents to the political philosophy that sees gender as the mechanism by which a power group (men, all males) oppresses another group (women, all females). We have a materialist analysis that fundamentally disagrees with your metaphysical belief system.

3. Others here see gender as simply a matter of sex stereotypes. They also fundamentally disagree with your metaphysical belief system.

The conflict arises because you wish to impose your religion/metaphysical belief system on the rest of us. We don't care if you believe in it, but we don't want it forced on us any more than we want any other religion forced on us.

Does Doc know you used the delorean?

Sums it up 😁

No one who is gay needs " correcting

true

you don't think being trans is a real thing, though, they're just gays in denial - a mental disorder.

we don't want it forced on us any more than we want any other religion forced on us

yes

given the complete inability of any male "woman" who has come here to explain what makes them a woman, I'm not clear why I need to subscribe to their belief

also interesting that you only picked up "no one who is gay needs correcting and said they didn't (which is correct, they don't) but ignored the "all transpeople are gay" bit

Many children who would otherwise be gay or lesbian are now identifying as trans

This is an interesting article, written by a gay man.

quillette.com/2019/01/31/homophobia-and-the-modern-trans-movement/

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3496512-Homophobia-and-the-Modern-Trans-Movement