Transgender child at DD’s school. Please help me write to the head?

[Comeymemo]

DD attends an independent co-Ed British international school. We are in a jurisdiction that provides for protection against sex discrimination, including in education. This country has no protection against discrimination on the basis of gender, and only recognises transgender persons when the person has undergone full reassignment surgery (including sterilisation). In other words, there is no right to self gender identification where we live.

The school is split in houses, all of which are either all boys or all girls. The school has a mix of boarders and non boarders.

We recently received a letter from the head, saying that a male pupil will be moving to a girl’s house after half term as the pupil is transgender. The letter states that the pupil will use the unisex accessible toilet including to undress (eg for sports). The letter does not state if the pupil is a boarder.

I want to write to the school outlining my concerns and would welcome any help.

The areas where I would like to get reassurance are:

• confirmation that the pupil will not be allowed to compete against girls or to be in girls’ teams for any sports
• confirmation that the pupil will not be allowed to play female parts in any dramatic productions (DD is into sports and drama and I don’t think it fair that female roles should be given to boys, as male parts are never available to girls)
• confirmation that the school will never allow the pupil to board in a girls’ house or to have access to girls’ boarding houses
• confirmation that girls will never be allowed or expected to share a bedroom with the pupil on any overnight trip
• confirmation that the school are not altering their records to reflect the pupil’s so-called self-ID, so that the pupil remains listed as male
• confirmation that the pupil is not taking the place of any girl on any awards or recognition list, such as for school prefect, scholarships or prizes that are only available to girls.
• would it be reasonable to request that DD is not in the same house as that pupil?

At this stage I don’t want to engage into a broader debate with the school over human rights, feminist theory or GC theory, so I’m trying to stay as down to earth as possible and seek clarification on practical areas.

Is there anything else you can think of that would be relevant in this context? Please feel free to direct me to other threads if this has been done before.

Many thanks 🙏

Oh come on glitter

Trainers doing the rounds are taking everyone that trans trumps every other protected characteristic. The adults around these vulnerable impressionable children are elevating them and their needs above everything and everyone else.

That is not healthy or fair in a school where there are hundreds of pupils all who barely get five mins of any attention or who's teachers don't even remember their names.

Of you don't think That would appeal to people ,.especially in a boarding school where they don't even see their parents daily then I'm.not sure what planet you are on.

They are doing the child a massive disservice. It's disgusting

This suggests very strongly that any trans child should remain within their preexisting networks, so the MtF trans child in the OPs post would be better served by remaining with other males.

Which is assuming that network was previously boys. It may have been amongst the girls even when he identified as a boy.

So one person who (apparently) identifies as a trans woman comes onto the thread in order to state categorically, 'I am STILL a man', and that is meant to clear matters up

Yep, seems so!
"Don't listen to transpeople.
But see,we don't mind this one. we'll listen to him. (using him as said male themselves)
Except this trans person. This one's OK."

Or something like that.

Glitter, you have obviously not watched any of the You-Tube videos of cute transboys demonstrating how to use binders. I cant see how they vary from pro-ana sites. eenagers are very influenced by their peers, and peers nowadays include the internet.

marfisa

I think that what hamster says suits the rhetoric of the many posters on here. Hence why they perpetually refer to what she says as being the only view that is worthy of consideration.

Holy crow ladies. It’s no wonder thereare

Lauren, R U OK? Seems like there was meant to be a full sentence there.

With all due respect, Hamster, how you choose to characterise your own sexual identity is fine, but you don't speak for all trans women. The majority of them do not perceive being trans the way you perceive it.

It's not Hamster's perception, it's a biological fact.
Human beings can't change sex.
Unless you have evidence they can?

you have obviously not watched any of the You-Tube videos of cute transboys demonstrating how to use binders

And seeing that in boarding school is ok whilst a trans girl who associates with girls during lessons and at meal times poses a risk of contagion?

Gerry, how has that got anything to do with what I said and quoted though?

Your spiteful, nothing to DO
with trans and just a "brave and stunning" and "after the attention" insinuation little dig to somebody's question was what I was referring to when I said hate

Lol yes! My 2 year old decided she wanted my phone- not a usual thing for me to have in my hand during the day and as such she wanted it!

Disgust over your self centred opinions isn’t even adequate to cover how wrong a lot of these comments are

Aren't they just

How is a male being male ignorant Marfisa? It's a basic truth of human life. When did that become ignorant?
Why so judgmental of people that don't engage in your subordination of truth to perception?

Ffs

The anger is directed at the adults who manipulate , lie, indulge and blackmail children. Not the victims.

The sooner they are held accountable and the children get the help they really need the better.

Ooh, and just decided spiteful is my new favourite word, it's very Malory Towers/St Clares.
Something Gwen might be accused of being .
which is kind of apt given the thread and some of the attitudes right out of the 50s lol

*The anger is directed at the adults who manipulate , lie, indulge and blackmail children. Not the victims.

The sooner they are held accountable and the children get the help they really need the better.*

Quite

The anger is directed at the adults who manipulate , lie, indulge and blackmail children. Not the victims.

"Computer says no."

And on and on and Ariston we shall go!

Which is assuming that network was previously boys. It may have been amongst the girls even when he identified as a boy.

If so, it can remain like that. But telling him that he is actually a girl is unbelievably cruel.

Marfisa / Weetabix

How is what I'm saying rhetoric or a question of "perception"?

I said in a previous post

No matter how much surgery I have, or what clothes/makeup I wear I will still have XY chromosomes. Scientific fact - I am STILL a man no matter how/what I feel. My tombstone could have whatever female name on it - but in 1,000 years time when some archaeologist digs me up and DNA tests me, science will say I was "male".

Saying otherwise is like saying the sun is not "hot", or the earth is flat.

Human beings cannot change sex - it's a biological fact.

If it's all about safe guarding concerns, why a brave and stunning and attention dig at a child in a school?
That's just digging at a kid (an actual RL one at a school) for the sake of it.

The anger is directed at the adults who manipulate , lie, indulge and blackmail children. Not the victims.

I honestly don't think this is the intention of most of the adults involved. Parents and teachers aren't experts in this field and tbh even the experts, the few that there are, are at logger heads over this.

People are trying to do the right thing by the child in question. Who knows if it's right to let them transition early - I can understand the arguments that support this approach. Equally I can understand some of the concerns, especially regarding effects of medication.

What I can't understand is the hatred, thinly disguised as concern. Participating in drama for example. Anyone ever been to a pantomime - a woman plays principle boy and men are the dame and ugly sisters. So what if this child gets a female role in a play? The world won't come to an end. If they're the best actor then good for them.

No its a dig at the adults who take a vulnerable child and put them on this pedestal where all that matters is them and their feelings to the expense of everyone else. Immediately singling them out and giving them.special treatment.