I've realised that I just don't like men very much...

[SandAndSnow]

And I wanted to talk through it a bit, if that's ok. I hope this is the right place.

I'm sitting on a train next to a terrible man spreader so I'm feeling a bit raged at the moment, but it's also made me realise that I increasingly tend to treat men with caution and, if I'm honest, dislike.

I'm in my early thirties, have been sexually assaulted by 3 different boys/men, had a truly awful experience with a bullying (male) obstetrician, my father is an emotionally and at times physically abusive bully and I've been passed over for promotion in favour of a younger and less well qualified colleague by a male boss. As well as all the regular crap like street harassment, manspreading etc. I'm happily married, and I have a couple of male friends, but I'm generally much more comfortable and happy in the company of other women.

Now, perhaps I've been unlucky, and I need to just get over all of this. I'm entirely happy to be told this! And I'm happy to be told that this isn't normal, and I should seek help for this too.

But I wonder if other women feel the same, and that this is actually a rational response to the experiences which I've had?

It's been explained countless time Sheelala, and is the difference between the individual and the class/group.

It's pretty simple.
How is this simple? The class is made up of individuals. You are married to/related to an individual.

How do you pick out of the class the individual that is decent, if even all of the "nice ones" are doing it too?

Why should your prejudice get a pass just because you feel feminism provides the intellectual justification for it? Where would that leave us

This
I'm not alright with any prejudice

Is it still prejudice if you've been sexually assaulted 7 times by male students?

The dog/car analogy does not work, because you have promoted the dog above all the cats. You actually prefer dogs to cats no ?

on not liking them all because of this

See you keep repeating this and that’s actually not the view of the vast vast majority on the thread.

Oops cat even but use car if you want, it'll be more fun that way.

Fun? OK, whatever.

www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2kzs2l/eli5_trolling_why_do_people_find_it_fun_or/

Is it still prejudice if you've been sexually assaulted 7 times by male students?

Well yes if you insist on not liking them all/avoiding/discriminating against every single one because of the actions of individuals

Safeguarding by leaving the door open when you talk one to one with a male student is 'discriminating'?

Some people are analysing class statistics as meaning the majority of the members of that class.

Hence the comments "all men", " most men", "even the nice ones".

It doesn't mean that. It means statistically that more crimes are committed by men - it could be a few men committing a lot of crimes.

The statistic is still right - more crime was committed by men but it tells us nothing about the percentage of men who commit crime.

The majority of men do not commit crime.

So we've got troll as well now to fling at anyone thinking differently?
You couldn't make it up.

WE DONT ALL HAVE TO AGREE WITH YOU

in loud so people can see better

Feminism doesn’t provide an intellectual justification. Statistics that men are far more likely to murder, abuse and hurt both mean and women provides evidence to support the fact that men as a sex class are more dangerous than women.

That’s irrelevant to whether men are irritating or annoying. I happen to prefer the company of women in general to that of men and I’ve said that, for me, I don’t know if that is nature, nurture, or whatever.

The children will all have to muddle through being taught by humans with a range of views and characters.

Yes, thank you for drowning out everyone elses voices and the conversation they were trying to have. Its not very sisterly of you but hey at least you got your own way.

I spotted this thread a couple of days ago and was looking forward to having a read. I should have realised that it would become completely dominated by people who are absolutely desperate to NAMALT all over the place.

We really can't talk about these things anywhere, can we?

in loud so people can see better

You couldn't make it up.

I definitely see things better when they're written 'in loud'.

Thanks WH1SPERS

I have a lot of faults personally and as a teacher but self-reflection isn’t normally one of them. I’ve given a lot of thought to the way boys and girls are taught over the years as it’s been very interesting to work in a variety of school environments and observe the differences.

Yes it’s obvious
Again

Yes, thank you for drowning out everyone elses voices and the conversation they were trying to have. Its not very sisterly of you but hey at least you got your own way

Oh for goodness sake. No, if you read, I shouted that bit as we do not have to agree but some can't understand that.
How come, if you post once, maybe twice, and somebody asks a question/ replies to you, if you reply back, you get jumped on and accused of merailing?
It's so weird. If nobody wants a response, in the words of Trigger (OFAH) "Why ask?:

"Its not very sisterly of you but hey at least you got your own way*

see, this is where we're going to have to differ. I'm nobody's sister (well apart from my actual sister lol) I'm ME.
Do I just blindingly agree with everything every woman says just because we share body bits?
No, as we're individuals

oops and my brother, all the woman talk I forgot I'm a sister to him too

The statistic is still right - more crime was committed by men but it tells us nothing about the percentage of men who commit crime.

But even if it was only one man committing all the crime (which it’s clearly not) the amount of crime would remain the same and you would still be more likely to a victim of crime from a man than a woman.

Yes most men don’t commit crime but we can’t tell the ones who do from the ones who don’t.

I definitely see things better when they're written 'in loud

Good good

(doing a grin too as I assume it must be allowed now with you doing one)

No one's voice has been drowned out for goodness sake.

Statistics can be used for all sorts of prejudice. Like the examples I gave.

The difference between the class group is not the thing though because as I say, most heterosexual women (although not the ones on this thread) will have the most fulfilling and intimate relationship of their lives with a man or men. This is actually a preference for men.

Safeguarding by leaving the door open when you talk one to one with a male student is 'discriminating'?

Teachers should be doing this anyway to safeguard themselves against untrue allegations. Insisted upon in the schools I've been associated with.

And it’s not just about crime, it’s avout male entitlement in our society.
This comes out in big ways such as men raping and murdering women, or smaller ways like using prostitutes, or even smaller ways like hogging the conversation (and before you say some women hog conversations, of course they do but there has been studies into how much men and women talk in mixed sex groups and it’s conclusive that men talk way more than women in general), and not pulling his weight around the house.

Not all men have male entitlement, but enough do for it to be an issue that some women want to talk about. It’s what keeps the patriarchy going and it’s exhausting.

Why do you think girls do better in single sex schools? Because we thrive in single sex environments away from male entitlement.

I'm loving the sisterly bit.

Mumsnetters are not a hive mind, well, until we say so and then sisters have to stick together????????

What bizarre thinking is this?

And how can you derail a thread asking for different opinions?