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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Cosmopolitan - Bleeding after anal sex

544 replies

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 03/02/2019 12:25

""It's not unexpected that [anal sex] would cause bleeding." Does that mean you should never put anything up your butt hole? No! It just means you need to take some extra precautions, like, say, a little thing called a shit-ton of lube"

"It's not a sprint, it's a marathon back there. And you want to make to the finish line without any bleeding or discomfort."

FFS

www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/amp9230630/is-bleeding-after-anal-sex-normal/?__twitter_impression=true

OP posts:
ElonMask · 04/02/2019 13:50

Since we are having a laugh at each others expense, maybe we can lobby the govt. to put those warning photos like they do on cigarette packets, on clothes you might wear on the pull, or to titillate your partner ?

AngryAttackKittens · 04/02/2019 13:50

People being grateful if their sexual partners are attractive remains true regardless of how unhelpful it may be.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 13:51

OLDEN DAYS PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT ORAL ETC

If that's what you mean

YOU seem to strongly equate "sex" with PIV
This is detrimental to women and grils - read standard feminist critique

The fact that there was no contraception did not mean that people didn't have sex unless they wanted a baby.
What on earth.

AngryAttackKittens · 04/02/2019 13:51

Since we are having a laugh at each others expense, maybe we can lobby the govt. to put those warning photos like they do on cigarette packets, on clothes you might wear on the pull, or to titillate your partner ?

Oh, sorry, didn't realize we'd all jumped over to SheWasAskingForIt.com

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 13:52

Warning them of what, elon?

That also MAKES NO SENSE.

You are just typing random stuff.

What do you want warnings on going out clothes to warn about,exactly?

ElonMask · 04/02/2019 13:53

I don't have to worry about this stuff, because my daughter is beautiful like me and men actually do fawn over her. They will be grateful to get in her keks because she is really pretty. However there friend is not so much to look at, so she won't be held in as high esteem and and the guys won't be as grateful I assume. This is well known after all.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 13:53

Also what have clothes got to do with attractiveness?

if a person is good lucky and / or well built, you can see that whatever they are wearing.

Very confused now.

Are we talking about the smiths tshirts and dms and tight black jeans that the boys in my circles wore, back in the day? What should the warning say?

I am REALLY CONFUSED.

Who else is confused Y/N

AngryAttackKittens · 04/02/2019 13:54

So, when I was at that stage where you're randy but not old enough to really be having sex yet I went through a stage of reading smutty novels. These would have been written in the 70s or earlier, given my age.

The people who wrote them knew about oral, and that people can do lovely things to each other with their hands. I suspect some of the unmarried authors may not have been virgins.

ElonMask · 04/02/2019 13:55

Errrr not quite Flying what I saying is that all women should sleep with men who feel grateful about them, not just the attractive ones. Again rather obvious I would have thought.

AngryAttackKittens · 04/02/2019 13:55

Are we talking about the smiths tshirts and dms and tight black jeans that the boys in my circles wore, back in the day? What should the warning say?

"May be a mopey git, bring taxi money in case you get tired of listening to him moan."

FlyingOink · 04/02/2019 13:57

The context is that young women are being pressurised by unrealistic societal expectations. Many young women struggle with body image and self worth. This is well known. In this context, saying your sexual partners are grateful if you are attractive is not helpful.
Pretending that being unattractive is the same as being attractive isn't going to do anyone any favours.
Many young women struggle with relationships, boundaries and consent issues. Many young women have manipulative older boyfriends. Many young women feel pressurised into trying out sex acts that are portrayed inaccurately in porn. This is more of an issue than pretending body issues can be magicked away by saying everyone is equally attractive and prospective sexual partners won't pick someone more attractive over you (because it isn't true!)
Self worth shouldn't be tied to attractiveness, that is true. Even unattractive people need love and sex, and by and large they can find it. There are beautiful women who never find love, and there are ugly women in loving relationships.
Let's not pretend that people don't have preferences! I only appeal to a small percentage of women. Of those women, they like me enough, and that's fine. But 99% of women won't find me attractive at all. That's just life!

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 13:58

You need to ask young men who they feel and how they treat young women, elon

If looks are important to them
If they treat women and girls differently depending on how they look
Find the results
Take it from there

Women are not to blame for mens behaviour

FlyingOink · 04/02/2019 14:00

all women should sleep with men who feel grateful about them, not just the attractive ones
If that's your actual point, I agree with you.

ElonMask · 04/02/2019 14:01

Warning them that sex can be dangerous of course, and that you don't have to do it, the same as all articles about sex need to forewarn.

Ah the olden days, here was me thinking the sexual revolution was a thing, but infact it wasnt. Or something. And there was no revolution and it had nothing to do with contraception and anyone who thinks there was is mental..am I catching on ?

AngryAttackKittens · 04/02/2019 14:01

I'd add that it would also be a good idea to ask young women what they're experiencing in terms of how their male peers treat them. Works better than just assuming nothing has changed.

jessstan2 · 04/02/2019 14:01

Why does anyone attempt anal sex when we women have a passage that is designed for sex, especially when we feel desire and secrete?
Lots of me wouldn't even like to do it when they consider what comes out of there.

It's horrible.

I have heard of women who really enjoy it - well if I banged my head against a wall several times a day I might begin to enjoy it but that is hardly normal.

It gets to me that so many youngsters do it nowadays because they've seen it on porn videos, How degrading can you get.

ElonMask · 04/02/2019 14:05

Nothing it was you who implied they treated you differently back in the day because you were very attractive. So what are you saying that actually men were just as bad back then, it was just you had no experience of it because you were insulated by your hotness. Or something. Do you know that they treated your ugly chums differently ? Perhaps they were grateful because they were nice men and nice men are repsectful to their sexual partners, including making them feel attractive.

AngryAttackKittens · 04/02/2019 14:08

But when she said she was grateful that the men she shagged were nice you didn't like that either...

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 14:09

"all women should sleep with men who feel grateful about them, not just the attractive ones
If that's your actual point, I agree with you."

I disagree

You don't owe a man sex just cos he's nice to you / tells you that he's mad about you and etc

If that's what is meant

You should only sleep with people you want to sleep with

And beauty is in the eye of the beholder

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 14:11

I never said they treated me differently - to what?

I simply reported their behaviour.
No more, no less.

I am not responsible for how they behaved and what they said

littlbrowndog · 04/02/2019 14:13

I have not understood any of Elon’s posts
Not one of them

AngryAttackKittens · 04/02/2019 14:16

I've tried but I feel like a need a decoder ring.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 14:16

The twists and turns are amazing

Throw out a load of rubbish
Get loads of questions back
Don't answer them even though they are direct questions (despite the new rules!!!)
Throw out another load of rubbish

The thread is about it not being great that magazine articles aimed at a young demographic say
bleeding is normal
no mentio stds
no mention consent
only mention condoms as a way to make it easier (lube)

You say this is all fine and why should they say that stuff

So that's your starting point.

ElonMask · 04/02/2019 14:17

Nothing

you said that they were grateful to have sex with you because you are hot, you were grateful to have sex with them because they treated you nicely. That is what you said. Women be fit, men be nice.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 04/02/2019 14:17

As PP comment about dures

When you look at this from POV of a company wanting to flog condoms that are designed to make anal sex a bit easier

Then the whole thing makes perfect sense
Obv risks will not be mentioned
Obv condoms as a way to make it easier (no mention STDs) will be mentioned
Obviosly they will not want to put anyone off as that is against sales

Well then case solved.