Cosmopolitan - Bleeding after anal sex

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

""It's not unexpected that [anal sex] would cause bleeding." Does that mean you should never put anything up your butt hole? No! It just means you need to take some extra precautions, like, say, a little thing called a shit-ton of lube"

"It's not a sprint, it's a marathon back there. And you want to make to the finish line without any bleeding or discomfort."

FFS

www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/amp9230630/is-bleeding-after-anal-sex-normal/?__twitter_impression=true

WE WILL NOT BE COMPLICIT IN OUR OWN DEHUMANISATION

*I repeat ad infinitum, as nothing really changes...

@starzig same but not ONCE have I even felt slightly uncomfortable let alone had a tear. Because whenever I do feel slightly uncomfortable, we stop, immediately and switch to something else once I’m okay - and only IF I want to continue having sex. My partner would be fucking mortified if they hurt me physically in anyway at all.

Some women like anal, surely it's meant for them.
Why do some women always think everything is the fault of the man.
I'm a feminist, you don't have to make everything a mans problem.
FWIW, I like anal and my dh doesn't.

Starzig it's great that you enjoy anal sex. However, girls are being pressured into it at a rate unheard of 15 years ago. You just did not have teen girls being told that doing anal is normal. If done roughly, it can have serious health consequences. And if you don't want to do it, it's absolutely your right to say no. The vast majority of women do not like anal and get nothing out of it. Unlike the case with gay men, women have a perfectly functioning other orifice that can be used and was actually designed for that.

I don’t like the way women are being conned into accepting anal sex. When I was newly married, anal sex was actually illegal, as I reminded my husband every time he tried to cross that particular threshold, which he attempted even though he knew perfectly well I would never consent.

Worse, when I was teaching, we had to explain ‘anal sex’ to 11-12 year olds because one of the universities annually sent a questionnaire asking children about their sexual experience. Women and woman-children are being deliberately conditioned to accept this unnecessary and potentially very harmful practice.

If it's done properly it should not hurt and it should not tear

But

1. It's okay not to want to do it
2. Normalising pain and tearing from it is totally wrong.

Romany because the practice is rooted historically and culturally in misogyny and male pleasure trumping women's.
And during genocide, soldiers will sodomise women as well as rape them vaginally in order to completely violate and show control.

Am getting a totally bad vibe of the thread. Not the op
Just feels weird

Young girls should be taught about all forms of sex and should not be afraid to discuss such topics. They should also be taught that they can say no or stop at any time and should never be afraid to do so. Hush hushing topics such as anal is not helpful at all.

Unfortunately there are always a few who see these type of thread as an invite to share their own sex lives. Fuck social conditioning, fuck rape culture, fuck young girls being coerced by not only individual men but by society, these women love anal sex and want us all to know about it.

Young girls should be taught about all forms of sex and should not be afraid to discuss such topics

Welcome to rosebudding 101 kids!

@GrandmaJane "Worse, when I was teaching, we had to explain ‘anal sex’ to 11-12 year olds because one of the universities annually sent a questionnaire asking children about their sexual experience"

wait, what now?!

How have we got to this?

In my day - I am middle aged - the magazines aimed at teenage girls were full of advice about not feeling pressurised to have sex till you were ready, and if he loved you he wouldn't pressurise you. There weren't saying don't have sex, but were saying, don't have sex you don't want to have.

Now, teenage girls and young women are reading articles normalising painful sex that causes tears and bleeding. See, I regard that at abusive sex, that anyone (teen vogue and cosmo looking at you) normalising such sex to be facilitating abusive sex and relationships..

What the hell happened to equality, respect and enjoyment in sexual relationships? Why the hell are women's magazines telling women to just suck up injury and pain during sex?

I don’t like the way women are being conned into accepting anal sex. When I was newly married, anal sex was actually illegal, as I reminded my husband every time he tried to cross that particular threshold, which he attempted even though he knew perfectly well I would never consent.

The fact that your husband continually tried to cross a clear boundary seems like a bigger problem than the fact that people are more open about anal these days.

Young girls should be taught about all forms of sex and should not be afraid to discuss such topics. They should also be taught that they can say no or stop at any time and should never be afraid to do so. Hush hushing topics such as anal is not helpful at all

That is not what this article is doing. It is saying it is normal and fine to be injured by sex. to find it painful, and to bleed from sex. If you are a woman of course. How are you meant to find the courage to say 'no it hurts' if you are gaslighted into thinking that is normal?

Am getting a totally bad vibe of the thread

I know what you mean.

I don't tend to bleed but I think most women could tell the difference between a small tear caused by sex and a heavier more sinister bleed

See, this is the level of gaslighting that has gone on where a little bit of bleeding and tearing is just okay. girls! As long as it is not a heavy bleed, don't tell your boy to stop ramming you!

I'm one of those, who having tried it (once! - thinking it would be fine as the general culture had normalised it) finds it very difficult to believe that anyone else could possibly enjoy it.

Same here. Tbh, it really put me off the bloke. It didn't hurt, I couldn't actually feel anything and I was really bored - the only time I've ever contemplated decorating the bedroom during sex.

It just turned him into a grunting beast and me into a cum recepticle.

The people on this thread who think that normalising pain and bleeding during sex is a-OK need to take a look at themselves.

Pain and bleeding during sex is not normal. No one should be having to use 'numbing lube' on their anus during sex. No bloke should be getting anything out of causing their partner pain and bleeding during sex (and yes, BDSM blah blah blah, but that is a very niche practice and not what Cosmo are referring to).

The fact that your husband continually tried to cross a clear boundary seems like a bigger problem than the fact that people are more open about anal these days.

I don't know if that was all that uncommon! My mother told me when I was about 17 that all women had sex when they didn't want to and with men they didn't want to and that it was just part of being a woman and sex.

Shamefully, I was in my late 30s before I actually understood that I could legitimately say no to sex. And, even now, I'm not comfortable doing it. And, although I tend to shout it down now, I can still hear the little voice in the back of my head telling me I really 'should'.

Unfortunately there are always a few who see these type of thread as an invite to share their own sex lives.

Its like there is an anal sex or choking klaxon or something.

Even though it's a very normal and relatively common way for people to ~do it~, anal sex is still shrouded in so much mystery.

Grooming. Right there.

There’s what sounds like a remarkably similar article in TEEN Vogue, I think it was on another thread a while ago that someone linked to it. I really despaired.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.teenvogue.com/story/anal-sex-what-you-need-to-know/amp