Horrendous consequence of current porn trends

[theresaspiderinthesink]

I have no words.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6595871/Online-porn-horror-Girl-16-forced-colostomy-bag-attempting-group-anal-sex.html

so horrific i wonder if it might be worth sharing it somewhere with more traffic.

Group sex? I can’t imagine she was enjoying it, then just happened to notice afterwards that she’d got these horrific injuries. Let’s call it what it is shall we, gang rape.
Yep yep yep
Disgusting

I tell my daughter that if the boys want to try anal they can do it to each other. They've all got arseholes and more to the point they've got prostates

Yet the schools teach your daughter that sex is an endless list of possibilities, that are performed for an endless list of reasons so doesn't have to involve old fashioned concepts like love. And whatever you choose from this endless list (See BISH or any PSHE materials for ideas) no one activity is any more valid or preferable to another.

Yet the schools teach your daughter that sex is an endless list of possibilities, that are performed for an endless list of reasons so doesn't have to involve old fashioned concepts like love. And whatever you choose from this endless list (See BISH or any PSHE materials for ideas) no one activity is any more valid or preferable to another.

thread discussing BISH (schol resources and training as well as online website for young teens)
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3357713-BISH-proudly-supported-by

Children's charities like Mermaids promote bondage and porn via their calendars. People with extensive histories of porn advocacy, fetishes, flashing etc are the the government's preferred advisers on issues relating to women and Stonewall (acceptance without any exceptions) are the government's provider of choice for training for schools. The one thing that they all have in common is that they are all removing sex segregated facilities for women and children and are all trying to roll back the safeguarding of children.

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time".

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time".

Totally FF. A very important element of the TRAs is trying to increase male sexual access to women and children. And normalise porn behaviours. It horrifies me!

Yes I sadly agree with all of you.

That's really disturbing matriarch.

Why aren't more newspapers reporting on this sort of thing?

I spoke to a very confident 23 yr old about this recently,she said was glad of the opportunity and had refused anal sex to a guy who she had only just met,he had then apologised and she hadn't felt able to talk about it to anyone.
She knew nothing of possible faecal incontinence(the symptom that really freaked her ) .
I asked her to tell all the women she knew,fingers crossed.

Children's charities like Mermaids promote bondage and porn via their calendars.

thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3478720-Drag-queens-pose-in-bond-age-gear-for-calendar-in-aid-of-Mermaids

“Why aren't more newspapers reporting on this sort of thing?”

Because it’s primarily affecting women, and who gives a shit about women.

Yep leave your kids unsupervised on their smartphones in the name of ‘privacy’ and see the sort of nightmare you create.

Here is a study looking at 16-18 year olds, including participation in anal sex and the influence of porn.

bmjopen.bmj.com/content/4/8/e004996

Results and conclusion (but it's worth reading the whole thing)

Anal heterosex often appeared to be painful, risky and coercive, particularly for women. Interviewees frequently cited pornography as the ‘explanation’ for anal sex, yet their accounts revealed a complex context with availability of pornography being only one element. Other key elements included competition between men; the claim that ‘people must like it if they do it’ (made alongside the seemingly contradictory expectation that it will be painful for women); and, crucially, normalisation of coercion and ‘accidental’ penetration. It seemed that men were expected to persuade or coerce reluctant partners.

Young people's narratives normalised coercive, painful and unsafe anal heterosex. This study suggests an urgent need for harm reduction efforts targeting anal sex to help encourage discussion about mutuality and consent, reduce risky and painful techniques and challenge views that normalise coercion.

I'm glad there's actual research on it though it's pretty fucking obvious that those were the conclusions.

Many vagina owners

you don’t need to have a prostate

those without a prostate
clitoris owning people.

It is the only part of the female anatomy hurray!

For some vagina owners,
WTAF language is this?

LangCleg I remember reading that a while ago. I was surprised that some of the boys were ambivalent about the actual anal sex. It occurred to me that it might be related to two things: actually getting the girl to let you do it (or actively agree to it, but that might make her too easy) was about sexual acceptance as much as dominance, and secondly the fact it came from porn, and the US, means it's something to tick off the list. So emotional blackmail and immature goal-orientated sex. The point was getting to do it, rather than enjoying it (from the male's perspective).
I hope there's a backlash against porn otherwise we'll see even more extreme acts being treated in the same way.

Jenna Burleigh was murdered for refusing anal sex:

www.philly.com/news/jenna-burleigh-temple-university-josh-hupperterz-philadelphia-murder-trial-openings-20190108.html

I wonder if the fashion for "facials" was the precursor to this.
I'm not an expert, but my understanding from blokes is that finishing inside their partner is pretty good, and it takes rather a lot of willpower to withdraw and ejaculate elsewhere.
But they all joke about it and go on about it.
I gather that it became a staple in porn "the money shot" because it signifies a proven end, a proven climax (although often adjuncts are used to make it look as though there is more semen). So a generation of young men humiliated their female partners by ejaculating on them, then sexualised it further and added it into sexy talk. Does any straight female look forward to having semen on her face really? Was it popular in the days before streaming, free internet porn?
I'm a lesbian, I honestly don't know. But it certainly appears as if that or something similar was the previous "achievement level" for men to get to with women.
How ironic if it turns out this sexual violence and coercion is just a way of boosting male egos. I mean, it's not like men dislike vaginal sex, is it? Why have they decided to believe porn telling them anal is better?

Jessicca Eaton's research and work at Victim Focus is really worth following.

May 2018 article, ‘Beat the pussy up’ – the way we talk about sex with women'

(extract)
"We must talk about the way that violent materials depicting the rape and abuse of women and teenage girls is becoming the norm. Actually not the norm, the goal. The harm of women is becoming glorified, not normalised. When women like Long, Dines, Bindel and Blac talk to us about violence in porn, they are not talking about a light tap, they are not taking anything out of context or exaggerating, they are talking about the sexualisation of choking women, beating women up, raping women on camera and hurting them so badly during sex acts that they cry out for help, pass out or scream in pain.

It hasn’t taken long, but this acceptance and arousal of sexual violence against women has slipped into common everyday language about sex with women. Role models in hip hop, rap and RnB are using this language in their hit songs. Children and adults are singing along to these lyrics. Hit that. Hurt it. Beat that pussy up. Smash that. Destroy that. Ruin it.

In a study conducted in 2006, Fischer and Greitmeyer found that men who listened to sexually aggressive and violent lyrics were more likely to choose for women to suffer painful situations than the men who had listened to normal music lyrics in a controlled study. In a follow up study, men listening to misogynistic lyrics were more likely to subject women to ice-water-treatment than men who did not listen to the misogynistic lyrics.

However, its incomplete to argue that these lyrics and language only affect men and boys – the reality is that these lyrics, language, imagery and porn affects women and girls too. They are also absorbing these messages as normal, and as shown by the work on hypersexualisation of girls by the APA in 2007, girls and women normalise and accept these sexually violent behaviours because they have been taught by society that they are supposed to enjoy them.

Adding sexually violent lyrics to some of the bestselling songs in the world is a clear method of normalising male violence against women and girls.

What can we do about this?
Parents and Carers of children and young people

If you are a parent of an older child, there is absolutely no point in trying to protect them from these lyrics – they are everywhere! Instead, focus on bringing your children up to be critical thinkers and media-savvy. Teach them that everything they see in the media, music, advertising and news outlets are trying to manipulate them or sell something to them. Teach them clear and positive ways of talking about sex. Teach them to say ‘have sex with’ or ‘make love to’ or even ‘sleep with’. ANYTHING that isn’t negative or violent. Talk to them about the language – use the songs on the radio as an opportunity, a blessing in disguise and start to comment on the language. When something sexually aggressive or degrading comes on the TV, use co-viewing to start a debate or discussion about what you are seeing. Make a comment and ask their opinion. If you don’t teach your children about sex, the internet will. If you already watch a lot of porn, think about how different porn sex is to the real sex you’re having. Do you really want your sons or daughters thinking that porn sex is real? Do you really want your son choking teen girls? Do you really want your daughter to think that being forced to have anal is normal? If you don’t watch any porn and this blog has terrified the life out of you, have a bit of a search and see how quickly you come across violent porn. I bet it takes you less than 60 seconds of scrolling." (continues)

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3253264-Very-good-article-by-Jessica-Eaton-about-language-used-to-describe-sex

GrinitchSpinach
Horrendous

Thanks Rowantree, yes I contributed to that thread and it was a rude awakening for me on what kids are being taught and I've looked at other materials since. The contrast to the sex ed I had 40 odd years ago is unbelievable and quite frankly it scares me.

Leaving school in the 70s I knew that adults (who were 'in love') had 'vanilla' sex. I'd also been taught how to avoid STDs and not get pregnant but that was it. I had never heard of anal, oral, sex toys, group sex, S and M or any other fetish. Porn was a sneaky glimpse at a full frontal male model in a Playgirl mag and I was told it was wrong. Now almost anything goes in porn and it is no longer wrong for teenagers to watch it. Apparently enjoying porn is a harmless pursuit equivalent to playing a video game and you can never have too much.

Ok I get that the narrow view of sex that I had excludes gays and lesbians but can we not be inclusive without normalising every kink and fetish?

When I queried this the other day, I was called homophobic in much the same way that if anyone challenges anything that comes from the trans lobby it is automatically defined as transphobic.

But I will challenge it and say that men have gone too far promoting their sexual practices and kinks. It is not just transwomen but gay men and hetrosexual men with their various fetishes.

Women don't seem to have this same need to educate the masses about their sexual activities. I left school not knowing what lesbians do in the bedroom and I still don't know. I do however suspect they do pretty much the same thing I do i.e. try not to drop crumbs whilst enjoying a good book, a cocoa and a couple of custard creams.

It doesn't say she was raped. Seemed like she consented.

Children's charities like Mermaids promote bondage and porn via their calendars.

I'm a little annoyed that even organisations that I admire such as Privacy International seem to be on the borderline of condoning this and promoting kpornification as an integral aspect of personal autonomy and overall reducing social harm.

I haven't listened to this because I have hearing loss...but I gather the first part of this interview is quite the primer on the topic of metadata resistance illustrated through the story-telling of internet-enabled sex accessories collecting some surprising data (e.g., a ring that records the number of thrusts) and leaking sensitive information.

The second part is about an initiative called safer nudes - which is about creating a safe way for young people and women to share intimate photographs of themselves. I'm a bit hazy about why people (and the young, in particular) are not being encouraged not to do this but it seems to be caught up in the struggle for facilitating queer expression as well as the argument that it is limiting sexual autonomy and self-expression.

Safer nudes initiative: medium.com/the-establishment/feminist-hacking-group-helps-women-send-safer-nudes-d1e568a1702c

Privacy International podcast: Sex and the Cyber

soundcloud.com/privacyinternational/gender-and-privacy-series-sex

When I queried this the other day, I was called homophobic in much the same way that if anyone challenges anything that comes from the trans lobby it is automatically defined as transphobic.
It's got nothing to do with homophobia!
If we had zero porn tomorrow, if it all disappeared, what would happen? People would masturbate less and when they did they'd be thinking of their neighbour or their crush or their boss.
It's just an easy orgasm. With an endless sea of new faces to look at, new acts, new everything.
New new new. It's what causes the brain changes. The constant novelty.
If we had no porn tomorrow I'm sure we'd live.

It doesn't say she was raped. Seemed like she consented.
Call me psychic, but multiple men having anal sex with a girl that results in needing to wear a bag doesn't sound comfortable.
Sounds bloody horrendous. I'm guessing she would have stopped it after it started to hurt. To cause that much damage and for it to be described as group sex, there had to be at least three of them (because the press never leaves out the word "threesome" if it can be helped). So yeah, I'll put money on "she would have got out of that if she could" which means it was rape.

As a student HCPs we had a lecture from a paediatric surgeon on imperforate anus and Hirschsprung's disease. He started by extolling the wonders of the anus - it can contain gas, liquid and solids (until it is convenient to let go). I have passed on bits of the lecture to my DDs, I point out that there are children (and adults) who would love nothing more than a fully functional rectum and anus, and exhort them to value what they have and protect it and to pass on the message to their friends. I'm pretty sure neither will be agreeing to anal sex any time soon, but the coercive boys are such a worry. I wonder if I should drop my little lecture into the conversation next time DD has her friends round.