Horrendous consequence of current porn trends

[theresaspiderinthesink]

I have no words.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6595871/Online-porn-horror-Girl-16-forced-colostomy-bag-attempting-group-anal-sex.html

I rejoined MN after seeing this story... i can’t stop thinking about it. You’ve all expressed yourselves so well and I am just beyond despair now. How do we stop this sick filth?

Well, so far I have emailed the link to Ulster Rugby Club and Worcester Cricket Club, trying to be helpful of course, so that they can use the story to re-educate their players who enjoy group sex and raping sleeping women. I haven’t even had a thank you from either.

Welcome back Oxy. Great idea.

It's just violence against women really. For some inexplicable reason, saying it is sex makes it current. As a pp said, the magic penis effect.

sexy sexy water boarding (Rolling Stone article)

18/1/2019 Evening STandard
'Systemic failures in sex attack and rape cases, most senior judge warns'
(extract)
"The country’s most senior judge warned that “the battle for female equality” has yet to be won as she highlighted the lack of successful prosecutions for sex attacks and “systemic failures” in rape investigations.

In a speech on women’s rights Baroness Hale, the president of the Supreme Court, also said that domestic abuse was “too common”, the gender pay gap was “much larger than it should be”, and there were “too few women at the top of various professions”.

Her comments were published today by the Supreme Court. " (continues)

She said that “successful prosecutions in cases of sexual assault are rare in proportion to the complaints made” and that systemic failures in investigation had been “vividly illustrated” in the case of black-cab rapist John Worboys.

Lady Hale added: “Domestic violence and abuse is still all too common and, according to a recent study, a frequent reason why women lose their children into the care system.” (continues)

www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/systemic-failures-in-sex-attack-and-rape-cases-most-senior-judge-warns-a4042666.html

Janice Turner Times:
'Pornified films are a turn-off for all ages:
The backlash against rape scenes shows that a new generation is reacting against the unfettered Wild West internet'
(extract)
"Many have innocently blundered, as pre-internet generations never did, onto violent porn before they’ve had a first kiss, beheadings, bestiality; as children they have typed some innocuous search term — see what “pussy” or “doggy” throws up — into an unguarded computer, sat troubled and aghast yet too embarrassed to tell. They’ve learnt that some photograph on a phone shoved into your face on the school bus can never be unseen. No wonder they wish to be forewarned. Since no one else will safeguard them, they are learning to protect themselves.

Even Netflix and Amazon, which are not required to give warnings or age classifications for their content, are starting to do so voluntarily after subscribers complained about a suicide and sexual assault in its teen drama 13 Reasons Why. Yet YouTube, the main cause of concern for parents surveyed, is a largely unfiltered hell-site. Fancy an execution? YouTube offers, without warning, everything from the Taliban slaughtering women to a mass hanging in Iran.

Yet the tide seems to be moving towards greater responsibility among internet providers. This spring, the Digital Economy Act will finally be enforced, requiring all porn sites to ensure users are over 18 via a third-party verification system already used in online gambling. While the libertarian fringe whinges about nannying bureaucracy, this measure has largely been welcomed by the porn industry, which does not want children associated with its product." (continues)

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/pornified-films-are-a-turn-off-for-all-ages-b95h7znch?shareToken=9d013e5b0767a4cc80a870d5b80ee938

just re reading thru theres no point shaming the kinksters , the kinksters are fine!!, the actual bdsm community is very hot on consent,prep & aftercare and if people push boundaries, ignore consent are asked to leave, a lot of offenders get thrown out due to lack of boundaries etc. Mainstream sex seems more dangerous now? how can that be

R0wantrees

I can't comment for the rest of the world but what I've discovered from taking random samples of access logs on my home network is that it's not generally the case. The only time we had an incident like you describe was because dd2 was given a "challenge" from a classmate (boy) to enter a particular search term.

What I suspect is that younger boys are introduced to this stuff from older siblings, who in turn possibly get introduced to it by older male family and friends.

Much in the way 45 years ago I got my first porn mag as a hand me down from a 12 yo. It's probably similar mechanisms, rather than accidental random searches.

As another example I have an 40yo acquaintance who likes to watch the beheadings/mutilations stuff on YouTube etc and shares with his teen son When I challenged him about it, he saw no harm and his reasoning was "he'll see it anyway". A flawed argument in my book.

I do feel that we have a tendency to blame Google because it means that father's can divorce themselves of responsibility and abstract the blame to something they can pretend they can't change.

disneyspendingmoney
My post is an extract of Janice Turner's Times article today.
There is a share token for the whole article.
It will have comments underneath.

if people push boundaries, ignore consent are asked to leave, a lot of offenders get thrown out due to lack of boundaries
Oh so those people just stop doing it then?

Once they've been told they're doing it wrong and are a danger, they have a big sign put round their neck: "don't let this man dom you"?
And how do we make sure everyone who wants to try it gets sent to an approved BDSM group for training?

sorry I thought the normal text was your statement and the bold text the extract

LOL at "the kinksters are fine, they're evolved beings who worship consent!"

I guess this person has never seen some of the shit posted on Fetlife.

I fret increasingly about the issue of consent since Natalie Connolly and some of the other recent trials and sentencing.

A while back a friend was talking about a former partner. She made some remarks about how liberating it was to have someone who pushed boundaries further than you thought you were willing to go etc. and how much she'd learned. And yes, she'd said, "No" several times and he'd persisted.

I was taken aback at the time but now I'm quite conflicted and disturbed about what I'd do if she or anyone else made a similar remark. It's hugely unlikely* but if something went awry, and a women's friends/acquaintances were interviewed, then they'd have to mention this conversation.

If somebody made a similar comment to you now - would you interrupt them? Stop them making the comment and actually tell them about your notional legal concerns? Or think, "You're an autonomous adult and I just hope that I'm never legally obliged to mention this conversation but I don't think you would ever consent to being actually harmed".

*That said, I'm in the < 6 degrees social circle of one victim, one killer each associated with OLD and "sex gone bad" so I have a weirder indirect association with the perils of OLD than most people.

A while back a friend was talking about a former partner. She made some remarks about how liberating it was to have someone who pushed boundaries further than you thought you were willing to go etc. and how much she'd learned. And yes, she'd said, "No" several times and he'd persisted.
That's her trying to make sense of having fetishised her own submission. Plenty of people get off on emphasising the difference between men and women. Just listen to what people say when they're horny, read back in the cold light of day it sounds like a parody of sex differences.
She sounds like she had some good sex whilst playing with the sexual dichotomy. Do you think if he actually violated her boundaries she would find it a positive? Or is it more likely they had sex, verbalised a lot of cobblers before during and after, and her willing participation in different sex acts is retrospectively justified in her head as him pushing her boundaries?

For example she could use that as the excuse for having tried something new like leg restraints - but if he'd pushed her boundaries and put his fist in her rectum she wouldn't necessarily be talking about it being a learning experience etc.
It's not that he "pushed" and she "learned", it's that the phrase is used to assure any guilt or internalised sexism she might feel for trying something new.
It's why rape fantasies are popular amongst women. In the fantasy a woman can do what she likes, because someone else made her do it, so it's not her fault.

2013 Liberation Collective article:
'BDSM is Violence Against Women'
This post contains graphic descriptions.
(extract)
"Radical feminists often argue that BDSM practice is about degrading, humiliating, violating and torturing women. It is patriarchal violence against women—whether it occurs in your bedroom, on your computer screen, or is simulated during your lunchtime book reading.

We do not blame women who participate in it, but we will analyze it through a feminist lens.

BDSM is the legitimization of domestic violence against women. Case in point: The Feminist and the Cowboy. Author Alisa Valdes wrote an erotic semi-autobiographical book about a dominant lover who violently f’ked her under the guise of consensual “play”. After her book was released, Vales wrote a blog post detailing the real life abuse that the “cowboy” inflicted on her. Though the abuse was framed as consensual in her book, her real life experience with the cowboy involved being raped, verbally abused, threatened, and abandoned once he discovered her pregnancy.

Similarly, during a recent BDSM play abuse session, abuser Steven Lock strangled a woman he had recently met on a dating site with a rope, chained her to his bed, lashed her 14 times, f’kd her, and then left her chained. She had to call a friend to help her escape, but Lock was cleared of all abuse charges once he claimed the assault had been “consensual”. (continues)

liberationcollective.wordpress.com/2013/01/27/bdsm-is-violence-against-women/

To be fair, what would you do if, between the time your book was finished and it was published, its whole raison d’etre collapsed? You’d pay the advance back, is one thing. Surely, though, the publisher must have grasped that this story, and the storyteller, were both extremely unstable. What is Valdes supposed to have done? If it’s true the editor and publisher stonewalled her, then that seems to have been a really bad idea. Boy, I can’t wait till the real story comes out. What a mess.
From right wing site
Looks like her blog has been deleted as well, which sadly means only the book survives

By writing one personal memoir, to what extent did Valdes sign herself up for lifetime of public criticism of her personal life? I’m not sure exactly, but going all told-you-feminism-was-better in light of the revelation of her abuse seems like an easy place to draw the line. You don’t need to be a feminist to deserve not to have your boyfriend threaten to kill you; and your boyfriend threatening to kill you certainly can’t make you a feminist.
www.thecut.com/2013/01/anti-feminist-memoirist-leaves-abusive-cowboy.html
She's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't.
Makes it difficult to have honest conversations about consent in BDSM if: the book exists in the public record but her blog correction doesn't; and in even having that post-publication revelation she gets treated like she's insane...
It means there's nothing between "don't ever do it" and "you got what you asked for" in public discussion.

what i mean is , very few women in actual BDSM circles get killed during, its more in mainstream relationships which suggests they just have no idea of consent ir boundaries which is not the same as 'alternative lifestyle' but they seem to think it is or dont and use as an excuse.

very few women in actual BDSM circles get killed during

Very few?! So that's ok then. Some do get killed.

Jesus F Christ.

People online seem to regularly push the idea there’s ‘BDSM circles’ as if anyone wanting to do BDSM needs to register with the BDSM body and pass exams or something. It’s ridiculous. Being into BDSM is not like being a qualified lawyer where you can be assumed to have certain levels of knowledge, training etc.

Being into BDSM is more like being a SAHP in that you are it because you do it. There’s no qualifications, no bar to entry - presumably a fair amount of enthusiasm but that’s about it.

Yes fine some people who are serious about having an alternative lifestyle might group together but that isn’t really relevant.

This is all just horrible. I wouldn't have said I was particularly naïve but some of this stuff is completely alien to me. 16 year old and not only is her body permanently damaged but her entire outlook on sex is completely fucked. It's sickening how many people will grow up thinking that this is normal.

youre not grasping what i mean ill leave this thread alone now, as i dont think what i meant was difficult to decipher.

That said, I'm in the < 6 degrees social circle of one victim, one killer each associated with OLD and "sex gone bad" so I have a weirder indirect association with the perils of OLD than most people.

Wow, two different cases, arran?

Very different cases. The latter involved multiple deaths over time.

Sex gone unintentionally awry was a defence run in both trials of the responsible parties (convictions in both trials).

I have to say that it's given me a very weird view of OLD tho' I can rationally accept that this is very rare.

'I Was Pro-Porn And Pro-Sex Trade, Until I Worked In A Brothel'
(extract)
"Porn has had a detrimental effect on my relationships with men, but I didn’t realize it until I was exposed to a lot of porn in the workplace.

I worked as a receptionist in a legal Melbourne brothel that marketed itself as a “high end” venue. I didn’t recognize why I was getting very unpleasant and degrading demands from my male partners until I saw porn for myself. It was playing on big screens in every room that I could not escape and I feel that I suffered Post Traumatic Stress from being exposed to this imagery.

This was just mainstream “vanilla” porn that I can only define as violence against women on film. I can still see the images in my head and it was over 10 years ago. This was just regular porn probably described as “soft porn” by today’s standards.

It’s easy to believe something when you don’t see it for yourself
Before I worked in this job I was pro-porn and pro-sex trade. I thought there was nothing unhealthy with watching naked people having sex to get aroused, until I saw for myself the level of degradation, exploitation, and abuse that male clients were aroused by. I also thought that selling sex for women was a legitimate career if a woman chose to do it." (continues)

Porn and prostitution are interlinked
As stated in this report by the nonprofit Slavery No More, “Pornography is the most glorified type of prostitution there is. It’s a billion-dollar legal industry.”

Research shows that 39% of those who participated in prostitution were “regular pornography consumers” who were “reenacting pornography with women in prostitution.”

According to this research, “46-48% of interviewees purchased sex in order to obtain sex acts they either felt uncomfortable asking of their partner or which their partner refused to perform. The most commonly cited acts were anal sex (27%) followed by oral sex (7%). Other acts mentioned included group sex, using sex toys, sadomasochism, domination, and other fetishes.”

What are some of the sexual acts people sought out to perform with prostitutes? To quote directly from the study, “I want to pay someone to do something a normal person wouldn’t do. To piss on someone or pay someone to do something degrading who is not my girlfriend” and, “Anything you can’t get from your girlfriend or wife, you can get from a prostitute.”

Prostitution is a way to fulfill what pornography promises. To some consumers, who are male by the majority, pornography and prostitution are one in the same, with 49% of men stating that they think of women in pornography as prostitutes. Prostitution, it seems, is just one of the ways a consumer can re-enact sex acts viewed in pornography." (continues)
fightthenewdrug.org/brothel-receptionist-porn-and-prostitution-are-inextricable/