Horrendous consequence of current porn trends

[theresaspiderinthesink]

I have no words.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6595871/Online-porn-horror-Girl-16-forced-colostomy-bag-attempting-group-anal-sex.html

hmmm! Very disturbing,

As a single dad, my eldest DD is just about to be 13 and I need to tackle this whole sex ed thing. Frankly, I do not want to be having to explain any of this to her, but I'm going to have to. I've been trying to teach her about red flag behaviour, and abusive coercion and how to say no.

It's very troubling that this is now so mainstream, that it's become an expected norm by men, young and old alike. It feels to me that the My body my rights message isn't comming across in schools at all. And somehow consensual respect is becoming alien to young men.

I really don't know how I can go about explaining all if this to her. First, I don't want to resort to graphic explanations. Second, A way to discover what is enjoyable with out getting emotionally scarred, thirdly a way to tell blokes to fuck off politely without them having a fucking tantrum and fourthly not to succumb to peer pressure and bullshit.

Thus is quite depressing, thinking about the shit she has to look forward to

a way to tell blokes to fuck off politely without them having a fucking tantrum
I don't think there's an answer for that one. However she delivers the message, it up to the recipient how he reacts...

Disney
I bought my DD a book called Guide to getting it on.
I seem to remember that Amazon did a "look inside " and I liked the first chapter that I could see as it was relationship/respect based. It's very comprehensive and I didn't get to read much before she had squirrelled it away never to be mentioned again. It's non judgemental. I did read the chapter on anal sex which gives clear advice on the need for practice in order to be able to relax and dilate and be safe along with other practical advice but I thought it was fair enough. Covered it. And as I pointed out to her, if you have to work that hard to be able to do it It probably isn't a good idea. (Well I've told both my DDs unequivocally to dump any guy who suggests such a thing). But that's not the point. It does try to be non judgmental and comprehensive so it's not going to say outright don't do it.
Anyway you can look inside on Amazon and it might be helpful for raising some topics!

This is so depressing. I am an older mum and have a daughter studying in France.
She told me just a couple of days ago that there is a campaign in France to lower the age of consent to 13.
I told her the only people who would benefit would be men who want to rape 13 yr olds.
I told her about Jimmy Saville and Rochdale.
She looked thoughtful so I left it there.
I had raised the issue of single sex spaces a few days earlier and she told me to be careful not to sound transphobic.
She is a very intelligent girl, but social pressure is so difficult to overcome.
I am aware that I need to keep talking but proceed carefully.
I am so fearful for the young generation who are essentially being corrupted by selfish, self serving men.

I am so glad to be middle aged and not interested in men anymore. I find them increasingly revolting as human beings. I feel so sorry for younger women. Everything has got so warped.

I agree EJennings
Bring back kink shaming.
It is so worrying as a mother of daughters. One doesn't want to terrify them with dark warnings and yet they need to be aware.

Ok so I have been looking into this more to talk with my kids about the industry and I honestly hadn’t realized how extreme it’s gotten. I watched this (I’ll try and attach it) it’s a TedTalk by Gail Dines. It’s extremely blunt but factual.

Every person who comes on here and says, oh they were just doing it wrong, if you only choke off oxygen for little bit if time it's safe and if you practice anal sex carefully with all the right hygiene and lube it's fine and sometimes a woman might even like it and if you just remember to breathe through your nose you won't suffocate deep-throating but if the guy's water-boarding you the main thing is don't panic: YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. What you're selling isn't liberation, it's bondage, in the old-fashioned meaning of the world.

Freud believed female masochism us innate. It isnt. Women are socialised and taught to eroticise our own abasement.

Preach!

Yes Ejjennings! Agreed.

It is bloody. Worrying when you have daughters and you keep reading about the trends and the damage being dob E and no-one, like a significant governmental department, is doing anything. I think I'll send this to my MP. I feel pretty powerless. Wish schools were doing more. It's difficult to talk to one's own daughters. How to get the tone right. If I make rveythibg sound too scary, they'll roll their eyes at me the way they do when I still remind them to be careful on the busy road.

Although Freud's theory of female masochism was complete nonsense, I've often wondered if it was projection at work and what he was trying very hard not to admit was that all or most men are innately sadistic. Or are they socialized to be that way? Either way, there's certainly a lot more male sadism than female masochism about.

Men have always pretended that women are what they'd like us to be. Sometimes it's hard to know if they're trying to convince us or themselves.

And yet in a world with 24/7 violent freely available porn catering to every single manifestation of male deviance there is an epidemic of male suicide.
'It looks like freedom but it feels like death' Leonard Cohen
Boundaries are the only thing to stop us creating hell on earth, but hey that's all so twentieth century. I want to cry.

I am so sick of these porn driven times.

So sick of the abuse towards females.

I would recommend the book ' The War on Women' by Sue Lloyd-Roberts...... Every child at secondary school should read this as a part of their SMSC lessons, imho.

Women are socialised and taught to eroticise our own abasement.
100%. You can hear it in the language used.

Every person who comes on here and says...
The problem with this paragraph is that women do convince themselves they like stuff to the point that some actually will start enjoying stuff. So any lurker who has a submission fantasy and got choked once and liked it will dismiss the rest of what you've written.
I am just pointing it out, I'm not sure there's a better way, or any way to get around this.

There's also the indignant argument that women are not babies and should be allowed to consent to whatever we like. For the lurkers: yes, obviously. But we're not talking about safe, sane and consensual, boundaries-respected, mutually-satisfying exploration here are we? We're talking about males forcing certain sex acts that they don't bother learning about, males who have no interest in the sexual, physical and mental well-being of their sexual partner, no after-care (BDSMers are big on this), no respect for ongoing continued consent, and an oppressive rape culture in which a girl is shamed for being a prude, shamed for being sexual (plus ca change) and now boys and men actively collect nudes of her (and share them round, and swap, and laugh) like they were football cards. This is the reality for young women now.

The whole point of hetero anal for a significant percentage of the men who wants it seems to be that they think women don't want it. The coercion and the feeling of power in forcing women into it is what they're actually getting off on.

AngryAttackKittens yes exactly and when we listen to the language around it women have eroticised that taboo aspect, the fact it's seen as submissive and entirely for his pleasure, etc. It's a "treat" for him, instead of having to "endure" fucking a vagina, etc etc.
But it's definitely an achievement goal unlocked for the men involved.

I'm glad I shared this. We must talk more about it.

Every person who comes on here and says, oh they were just doing it wrong, if you only choke off oxygen for little bit if time it's safe and if you practice anal sex carefully with all the right hygiene and lube it's fine and sometimes a woman might even like it and if you just remember to breathe through your nose you won't suffocate deep-throating but if the guy's water-boarding you the main thing is don't panic: YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. What you're selling isn't liberation, it's bondage, in the old-fashioned meaning of the world.

Absolutely this.

Shades of grey is likely to have had an effect on this too.

Angry Attack kittens - I agree. Fucking depressing

Women are socialised and taught to eroticise our own abasement.
100% this^^
If he is desperate for a ‘treat’ get him a cuppa and a chocolate hobnob. Anal sex as a treat is simply enabling men to fuck any and every orifice that takes their fancy. Most of them haven’t mastered the right technique for PIV, never mind anything else.
Maybe the easy access to all kinds of porn will peakporn men and society will turn away from this kind of rubbish.