Horrendous consequence of current porn trends

[theresaspiderinthesink]

I have no words.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6595871/Online-porn-horror-Girl-16-forced-colostomy-bag-attempting-group-anal-sex.html

I had that argument with someone once on what purported to be a feminist site, with my saying "but I don't want to" over and over again as she attempted to sell me on the idea of anal being amazing for women because (insert a bunch of stuff about gender roles here). It's the evangelism that grates from "sex positive" types, which is a different issue to the men who push for the same things because the motivations are different.

God I wish I hadn't seen this thread. (Don't get me wrong, it's important that this stuff is discussed). I have two small children and I just want to move to some island somewhere with no media where they will never be exposed to this toxic shit.

It's all very well to say 'teach our children' but teenage me thought whatever her mum said was old fashioned nonsense and I would promptly do the opposite.

And given the way this stuff works - even if your logical brain is telling you it's a bad idea, if your sexual arousal has been irreversibly focused on this stuff by porn exposure then in the heat of sex you're not going to be making good decisions.

It's all just so horrible, and I feel so powerless.

I’m a man and I agree this is a problem. I feel quite blessed to have had my childhood/teenage years free from the modern ubiquity of porn.

I’ve dated a handful of younger women and for many of them they go into relationships with zero notion that sex should actually feel good.

I’ll take the observation on the chin that us men can be a bit goal oriented when it comes to sex, but at least back when I was developing sexually a woman having a positive experience was one of them.

I tell you what I’m going to follow these trends VERY carefully I do not want my son turning out like this. I think we should take this issue a bit more seriously and think about regulation.

I love the man commenting, "why aren't feminists doing something about this?" FFS! We're trying! What are YOU doing?

I’m not saying this is your responsibility I’m saying I agree with you, and actually I’m feeling a bit powerless about it as well, but know what? absolutely fair enough! I’d struggle not be pissed off at every single man in the world if I read that article as a woman.

I do argue against prostitution in my male circles and have point blank refused to attend stag dos if strippers are involved. It’s also reinforcing to me I’m going to have to make very sure my son grows up to question what his male peer group are inevitably going to end up exposing him too. :(

Oh I'm sorry. I was referring to a comment on the article. Word for word, that's what he said. As if feminists haven even written books, blogs, articles about it. Three seconds of research and he'd have found them.

Your plan / actions sound good 🙂

No need to apologise!

AntiSocialInjusticePacifist

I think as a father to two dds 1 teen 1 preteen, it's my job to challenge other men with shitty ideas, they are more likely to say stuff to me, for peer approval. They are also more likely to act out/force because they've got peer approval. See is one thing, doing because all their mates say they do is another.

I've got two roles as a dad, teach my dds what's permissable and challenge wankers, so they don't do shit to other people's dds

The implications up thread about the effects of porn being irreversible are fucking terrifying. We might be stuck in a position where huge swathes of men are fundementally broken.

I don’t envy you your job of making sure your daughters grow up being able to assert their own boundaries (or indeed even have them in the first place!). I’m happy to challenge any “wankers”, but I have a very bad feeling this is going to get worse before it gets better.

extract from current thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/a3481763-Renee-Gerlich-By-the-numbers-The-oppression-of-women-and-girls-globally-join-the-dots

Pornography

The average age of death for women in pornography is 37.
Source: Pornography FAQ

A report from an IT research company in 2002 forecast that profits from pornographic materials transmitted to mobile phones in the USA would reach an annual US$4 billion by 2006, out of a “total porn spend of US$70 billion”.
Source: Sheila Jeffreys, “Beauty and Misogyny”, 2005

In Denmark, pornography is estimated to be the third largest industry in financial terms… the country was the cradle of the ‘sexual revolution’ which decensored pornography and ushered in the commercialization of women’s sexual subordination.
The number of hardcore pornography titles produced increased from 1,300 in 1988 to 12,000 in 2004 and 13,588 in 2005.
The big mainstream pornography distribution companies had considerable incomes.
Playboy earned US$331,100,000 in 2006; Beate Uhse earned US$271 million.
Source: Sheila Jeffreys, “The Industrial Vagina: The Political Economy of the Global Sex Trade”, 2009

Pornography is now so mainstream that it forms a very lucrative sector of the business of respectable mainstream companies such as General Motors, which sells more pornography films anually than the Hustler chain. General Motors previously owned DirecTV, a pornography distributor, which is now owned by Rupert Murdoch.
Source: Sheila Jeffreys, “The Industrial Vagina: The Political Economy of the Global Sex Trade”, 2009

In 2007, pornography revenue for the US was estimated at $13.33 billion, which is higher than the total revenue of the media corporations ABC, NBC and CBS.
Top Ten Reviews estimated that the industry was worth US$97.06 billion worldwide, which is more than the combined revenue of the top 10 web technology companies such as Microsoft, Google and Amazon.
Source: Sheila Jeffreys, “The Industrial Vagina: The Political Economy of the Global Sex Trade”, 2009"

Maybe the easy access to all kinds of porn will peakporn men and society will turn away from this kind of rubbish.

Interesting to say if that would happen - I wonder how long it might take and just what horrors would be involved in the interim. (I haven't seen the classic ennui/depravity films that cover the major horrors, nor read the literature - but I have in mind Sade's Justine and Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom :

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salò,_or_the_120_Days_of_Sodom )

And, grief knows what might happen to intimate relationships in the interim.

Porn will only stop when it has been categorically proven to be bad for men. Doesn’t matter how many women are casualties of it.

Just finished reading this thread. I started last night but had to stop because I found it too distressing.

I have an 11 yo DS. I’ve already seen a couple of porn sights when checking his phone. I’ve got all the filters on I can but they’re not 100%. He said he was just curious. It’s only been a couple of sights, with a few weeks between them, but obviously I need to start having these conversations now.

He’s a lovely boy and he always treats his peers with respect, or so say his school, but he’s going to secondary in September and he’ll be exposed to god knows what there. His father is NC at the moment and for the foreseeable future, and he’s such a twat that DS doesn’t respect him anyway, so no positive male role model there.

Does anybody know of any good resources I can use, even if just for my own guidance? I try to raise him to respect girls and women, everybody, but I’m not being complacent. I thought I’d ask here as it’s as good as anywhere.

Sorry if this is too much of a deviation, I can always start another thread if so.

Haven’t clicked on the link but the title words are horrifying.

Sadly, it doesn’t surprise me.

I know it’s probably an urban myth but what I’ve heard said a lot is that people choose anal because there’s no risk of pregnancy. I guess it offers the perfect opportunity to hurt and rape women with no risk of long term repercussions to the man.

I do wonder if the next big problem will be a huge rise in anally transmitted STIs.

Yes, with a very few exceptions, men only quit porn when they realise that it is damaging them.

Exploitation of women and normalisation of uncomfortable, degrading and often outright physically damaging sexual practices? Relax, it's all consensual and everyone knows it's just fantasy.

Oh, maybe that woman I just wanked over was literally being raped before my very eyes? Meh, what are the chances?

Oh no, my penis isn't working properly when I want to actually have sex? Porn is evil!

I have had a bit of a browse of NoFap over on Reddit (community of men who are trying to give up wanking/porn and are largely unable to see that these two things are not inseparable) and I actually saw a man claim that MEN were the major victims of the porn industry because it was ruining their ability to experience sexual intimacy.

Most men don't actually care about women and if they did, the porn industry wouldn't even exist, or at least it would be nothing like its current form.

I’ll take the observation on the chin that us men can be a bit goal oriented when it comes to sex

The Privacy International item that I posted upthread is apparently one of the most arresting openings to an explanation of metadata resistance that anyone has ever encountered. It opens with a researcher talking about needing to purchase a cock ring and a vibrator for her research - and that she was intrigued by the data collected by them which all sounded rather 'sports stats' (e.g., number of thrusts and other important numbers).

Badstyley, Try www.culturereframed.org/, there are some great resources there for parents. My children are still very little (3 and 1) but I've been thinking about how to tackle this since DD was born because it just breaks my heart to think about what it will do to them, to their sexualities and to their humanity.

And I do care deeply about what porn does to boys and men, despite my cynical post above (I just don't think they are the main victims by a long shot). I can't stand to think of my little boy being brutalised into misogyny.

In Public Health circles that is some justifiable distress that STIs that were on the verge on extinction have been revived partially because of the greater number of people practising it associated with its mainstream status.

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) represent a significant public health concern. Several STIs, once thought to be on the verge of extinction, have recently reemerged. This change is thought to be partially related to an increase in STIs of the anus and rectum.
...
Anorectal sexually transmitted infections constitute a group of emerging diseases not well recognized by the medical community. An understanding of recent trends in sexual behavior and the epidemiology of sexually transmitted infections is critical to identifying populations at risk

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4223259/

Altho' inadvertent auto-inoculation with chlamydia through unavoidable proximity contamination is a greater contributor to the disease in women than anorectal sex there is some uncertainty about the numbers because lack of screening means there's probably little reliability of the numbers.

www.contagionlive.com/news/women-who-report-rectal-intercourse-should-receive-rectal-screening-for-chlamydia-and-gonorrhea

Bring back kink shaming.

Haha I said exactly this sentence to a friend a few weeks ago. Yes, the insidious idea that absolutely anything is acceptable as long as someone is getting sexual pleasure out of it has got to go. You can take the most abusive, violent and damaging behaviour you can think of and add an erection and suddenly to a lot of people there is no longer any problem (oh, of course as long as the other person 'consents' because people never self-harm, that just doesn't happen).

@Badstyley you could also ask your school if their IT advisors could give any advice on software that can be bought to monitor and block access to inappropriate material.

Our school gave a brilliant talk/ evening on it - I need to find the info somewhere, mostly obviously on online safety but I think this is a part of it. The deliverer was keen to stress that being open was the biggest thing; he played many of the games online games with his children.

But you're right we need this as specialist training. Schools need to be taking this seriously.

There have been previous threads on similar themes ('DD says all the boy want to strangle' I think was one?)

Really though it's about education and the industry being more responsible

Thanks Spider and Magicmix

I’ll have a look at that web sight. Unfortunately a lot of apps and software won’t play nicely with my screen reader but I’ll ask, on the off chance.

I am boggled at the person who believes that a 16 yo girl can consent to being treated so violently by 3 men that she suffers permanent physical damage.

If male sexual desire wasn't involved I bet much doubt they would imagine the girl to be happy and cheerful even as these injuries were inflicted.

There is also a lack of understanding that a young small teen, with 3 men, and she has agreed to try something, how can she back out? Will they even let her. Etc.

If male sexual desire wasn't involved I bet much doubt they would imagine the girl to be happy and cheerful even as these injuries were inflicted.

You are 100% correct. It's the magic erection, add it to any equation to miraculously cancel out all suffering.

This needs to be drummed into children - you cannot consent to being hurt, do not ask other people for their consent to hurt them and if someone asks you to hurt them don't bloody do it.