Trans Widows Escape Committee 2- The Trans Widows Strike Back..

[TinselAngel]

The previous thread is nearly full, so here is a shiny new one.

I'm thrilled that this took off enough to merit a second thread.

This is a support area for women who are, or have been, in unhappy relationships with male partners who are transitioning, or exploring their "gender identity"

If you are in that position-

1. You are not alone
2. It is not a situation that you should be expected to tolerate, let alone celebrate.
3. There is always a way out, if you want it. The thread is called Escape Committee for that reason.

Don't worry y'all. We won't.

MsVanillaRoseAuntof7
You haven't really thought the full implications of that comment through have you MsV..? Sometimes the cognitive dissonance...........

Another lurker who hopes that all you trans widows struggling with your loss gain support and comfort from these threads. Please know that you have our support - and ignore the thought police on here - I know it's often a depressing feature of your lives.

Pay that one no mind.

Seconded. If someone reads these threads and the only comment they can make is an objection to the monicker? As usual, it says a great deal about them. None of it good.

As others have said, ignore. I don't post on here as it's a support thread for those who need it. But there are many many of us who stand with you and who will man any barricades that are needed.

What a vile person that is. Solidarity, widows.

It's such a betrayal and I feel that even though my husband just cross dresses. I didn't know. I had a right to know. What turns him on and what turns me are impossible to reconcile. But if he decided he was a woman? Actually a woman. He'd be dead to me. I'm lucky it's just a kink.

Come on mumsnetters, must be a real woman with a feminine pornstar name like vanillarose

(Woman with stubble, eight inch schlong, and a pink babydoll on as proof of womanhood....)

I alternate between annoyance and amusement, that our occasional TRA ploppers think they're delivering a devastatingly clever coup de grace that will silence us.

Just popping on to say I'm cheering you all on and wishing you all the best for your futures.

As an aside where are the 'transwidoweres'? How can people not see this is some kind of middle aged male contagion?

You all deserved so much better than this and I'm glad you have each other to talk too

(Awaiting the contribution of DesireeLoveHeartBigTits )

AS you were, transwidows.

So ‚deadnaming‘ is ok then, because nobody died. Great that we got that sorted, thanks vasiline.

holy

Katispancuddly, you shouldn't minimise your situation, it's a horrible betrayal, and a horrible situation to feel stuck in.

Love the understatement on 'growing apart from your spouse' .... like they just get a new hobby or something. My ex-husband's entire identity, name, existence, is dead by his own manicured hand. In fact such is the error of my ways I'm told I had no 'husband' at all by the trans lobby! . That man is nowhere to be found. And me and my kids have all the symptoms of a living bereavement. Oh but I forgot. There's only one special group of people allowed to make up new words (cis,deadname, bla bla) and label themselves... we are not all equal.

RollingCrone - As far as I have seen - women transitioning to men usually are young, unmarried lesbians. So very few of them would be women who had been married with children for years. I only know one such person like this and she was divorced long before transitioning. The rest were universally single or with women. So it seems only women have to put up with their partners transitioning.

"Deadname's Transwidow" seems appropriate to me, now that my ex is also using the term deadname.

Not that I can say "Deadname's TransWidow" publicly without risking losing my job, because heaven forfend any criticism of the narcissist who dumped this upheaval into my family.

You'd lose your job?

Hang on, they can have 'deadnames' but not widows? Odd.

As a trans widow I didn't 'grow apart from my spouse' and our children did not grow apart from their father either.
'Grow apart' is insulting in this context. Its so inaccurate it looks desperate.

What TheRollingCrown said. Wishing you all the best. Won‘t interject further.

Userschmoozer: my marriage broke down because my ex-husband's mind broke down and he became an immature, utterly selfish human being of indeterminate social role. He picked fights first with his childhood friends, then with his business partners and finally with me. And after 4 years of taunting while rebuking me for reacting to the taunting he walked out on us forever. That could never, ever be described as "growing apart" and I am sure that you had a similarly horrific experience. Keep telling the truth. It is our existence, our courage, our determination to get the truth out which keeps this thread going.

TinselAngel, yes, I believe so. I am non-tenured in academia. I suspect at a minimum I would be told to shut up about my non-trans-supportive views as being "threatening" to trans students.

QuinnMovesOn you are quite right. Higher Ed is increasingly tyrannized. Trans people must not be offended/faced with any argument... hence the silencing of researchers and academics who question/debate (I thought that was the point of education?) trans ideology. You will at some point be asked to wear a badge/have a sign on your door stating your preferred pronoun ('Sociaworker222. 'She/her')... staff are scared.

Hello all - Thanks TinselAngel for helping me find the thread.

My ex husbands cross dressing (a kink he says not a desire to be transgender per se) is something I've not really talked about. I did an ask me anything post about it and found it rather cathartic.

I was surprised that I found his cross dressing so upsetting. I've always considered myself very broad minded but I didn't sign up to be with a man who shaved his legs, wore my underwear and put on my high heels in secret when I was at work. It completely changed how I felt about him sexually and killed any passion or attraction. The final time we had sex before we split up I felt violated and knew that was the end.

I now have a full on testosterone fuelled, big muscles, big bearded man who I adore for his utter masculinity. My ex is still as far as I know, in the closet with his desires and struggling to find a girlfriend.

Although I wouldn't want others to feel similar pain I am pleased to have found that my experiences are not unique