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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

'Handmaidens'

202 replies

Dakinis · 21/09/2018 11:53

I've seen this discussed before but what are thoughts on using the term 'handmaiden' to refer to non GC women?

Personally I'd like to see it join 'terf' on the banned list as I think it's equally as offensive but interested in the consensus.

OP posts:
Dakinis · 21/09/2018 13:11

The posters who are happy to use it... would you be happy for a teenage girl walking down the street with a transgender friend to be called a handmaiden? Would you feel okay if someone said it to your DD on the street?

OP posts:
Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 21/09/2018 13:11

i try to keep my own language neutral but policing the language of other women isn’t a good thing

This

I have accidentally tone policed...i thought i was being helpful and i really wasn't

Though i do judge posters for using words like terf and remoaner

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 21/09/2018 13:12

Though i do love the word quisling

BertrandRussell · 21/09/2018 13:13

"It seems especially strange for one feminist to direct it to another."

That's because you think feminists are a hive mind.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 21/09/2018 13:14

How does having a transgender friend make one a handmaiden?

Tartle · 21/09/2018 13:14

I don't use it but I wouldn't stop others. We all do handmaidenly things, white weddings, changing our names, shaving our legs etc. I think it's a useful analytical term but probably doesn't progress dialogue.

LangCleg · 21/09/2018 13:15

I think people should be allowed to use all the terms. Wasn't me - or other feminists on this board - who asked for any terms to be censored. Take it up with the people who like censored terms, not us, Dakinis. You can, by the way, call me whatever you like. I couldn't give a shit.

Knicknackpaddyflak · 21/09/2018 13:15

would you be happy for a teenage girl walking down the street with a transgender friend to be called a handmaiden?

Oh don't be silly.

Like GC women hang around on street corners, shouting insults after women and girls? Seriously? As if that word has ever been used randomly to someone outside of the boundaries of actual feminist discussion where both sides were well aware of the context and meaning? Fgs.

Would you feel okay if someone said it to your DD on the street?

See above. If my DD came back to me and said I was talking to someone about feminist issues and they called me a handmaiden I'd get her the book, explain the context, and equip her either to go back and refute with evidence, or to think more seriously about whether she was indeed cooperating with a POV of slinging women under the bus.

Trying to equate this term with abuse: you are onto a major loser.

TerfsUp · 21/09/2018 13:20

What LangCleng said.

BertrandRussell · 21/09/2018 13:22

"would you be happy for a teenage girl walking down the street with a transgender friend to be called a handmaiden?"
I wouldn't want her to be called anything. But calling her a handmaiden would be a very odd thing to do.

Ereshkigal · 21/09/2018 13:25

Hands up who thinks having a trans friend makes a woman a handmaiden?

VickyEadie · 21/09/2018 13:33

The posters who are happy to use it... would you be happy for a teenage girl walking down the street with a transgender friend to be called a handmaiden?

You're playing games again, in my opinion. You know perfectly well that the issue is not remotely to do with whom a person is "friends" with.

I'd happily be a friend to a TW. I would not under any circumstances want to be naked in the presence of his knob, however (any more than I would in the presence of my brother's, my father's, etc).

Dakinis · 21/09/2018 13:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BettyDuMonde · 21/09/2018 13:36

Having trans friends no more makes a woman a handmaiden than having male friends, or mothering sons, or being heterosexual or bisexual does.

placemats · 21/09/2018 13:36

I wasn't asking you that question Lass

Again you take what I write out of context. It almost feels like you are doing this on purpose and making it personal.

If you feel it's a false analogy, expand upon the reason why you think it is so. It's not difficult.

deepwatersolo · 21/09/2018 13:36

The posters who are happy to use it... would you be happy for a teenage girl walking down the street with a transgender friend to be called a handmaiden? Would you feel okay if someone said it to your DD on the street?

No, I'd want the offender who says it to her incarcerated for life, because her feelz are to prescious to endure hate speech. (sarcasm, yes).

I've never used the term 'handmaiden' myself (for no specific reason), but Jesus Christ, I will be damned if I won't bring my kid up to be able to reasonably deal with controversial speech, even hate speech, and to understand that free speech is what keeps us free.

WhereDoWeBeginToCovetClarice · 21/09/2018 13:36

there is a crucial difference between the T word and handmaiden, which we need to remember. The former is used by members of the oppressing class to demonise members of the oppressed class and prevent their voices being heard, while the latter is used by members of the oppressed class to express anger at those of their peers prepared to take the side of the oppressors in doing the silencing. Very different power dynamic

This.

UpstartCrow · 21/09/2018 13:36

If you have a problem with what a poster said, take it up with them. hth.

VickyEadie · 21/09/2018 13:37

The OP who is soi-disant "confused" isn't really enough ammo to get a word banned.

You're playing games again. Any chance you'll admit your claim that no dangerous sex offenders have been placed in women's prisons was a porky pie? You know, in the interests of truthfulness?

LangCleg · 21/09/2018 13:38

NOBODY HERE WANTS LANGUAGE POLICED.

Geddit? If you wanna say TERF, say TERF. If some people wanna say handmaiden - likewise. TIM? Fine. Trans woman? Fine.

WE DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY TERMS TO BE CENSORED ON FWR.

Go and hassle people who like censoring terms about which ones should or shouldn't be censored. It would be more productive.

ClosdesMouches · 21/09/2018 13:38

You seem to be enjoying the feminist boards.

Indeed. Quite surprising given that only 2 months ago they said they were 'done with' this board.

ClosdesMouches · 21/09/2018 13:38

Well said, Lang

BettyDuMonde · 21/09/2018 13:40

Arguing that your transfriends (or sons or husbands or male friends or brothers or fathers) wishes are more important than the rights of women and girls is what qualifies you for the title.

hackmum · 21/09/2018 13:40

Dakinis: "The posters who are happy to use it... would you be happy for a teenage girl walking down the street with a transgender friend to be called a handmaiden?"

Ah, I understand your problem. You think women behave like men, don't you? So men go down the street shouting slag, bitch, cunt, here, give us a smile, get your tits out - and you haven't noticed that women don't behave the same way! Bless.

Apart from which, if we did want to shout abuse at women we don't agree with (which we don't), "handmaiden" would be a particularly crap choice of word. The real insults are monosyllabic with hard consonants. Try shouting out "handmaiden" and see how forceful that feels. (The answer is not at all, if you're wondering.)

Dakinis · 21/09/2018 13:41

Change the record VickyEadie we were talking about Ian Huntley who is of course in a male prison and always will be.

OP posts:
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