What makes men angry with women?

[Italiangreyhound]

What makes men angry with women?

Is this article of any interest? Does it offer any incites?

goodmenproject.com/featured-content/hidden-reason-men-angry-women-over-nothing-chwm/

Thanks in advance if anyone reads it.

the urge to procreate arises

Again, this suggests this is not our 'normal' - it "arises".

For many men it is constant and barely subsides.

Well yes. Which is what frustrates and angers them possibly.

I can believe that male animals are more violent than females ones, still like to see the research on it.

There's a lot of evidence to suggest that testosterone is a significant factor in human aggression, although some studies have concluded that high testosterone alone isn't always a predictor of aggression - it seems like how some dog breeds have a greater capacity for aggression but are not always violent as individuals.

"When male robins enter the breeding season, their testosterone level rises. They become aggressive and amorous. Testosterone has remarkably similar effects on men."

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-human-beast/200907/sex-violence-and-hormones?amp

"In non-human animals, the relationship between testosterone and aggression is well established."

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S135917890000032X

"There is evidence that testosterone levels are higher in individuals with aggressive behavior, such as prisoners who have committed violent crimes."

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3693622/

"We were able to show for the first time that increasing levels of testosterone within the normal physiological range can have a profound effect on brain circuits that are involved in threat-processing and human aggression"

www.elsevier.com/about/press-releases/research-and-journals/testosterone-in-healthy-men-increases-their-brains-response-to-threat

"Inmates who had committed personal crimes of sex and violence had higher testosterone levels than inmates who had committed property crimes of burglary, theft, and drugs. Inmates with higher testosterone levels also violated more rules in prison, especially rules involving overt confrontation."

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/019188699400177T

Testosterone leads to sex drive and impulsivity, it's the socialised entitlement in addition to that which leads to aggression.

So interesting to read your posts and think this all over. (Do many men do this?!!!)

I will just write all this down now as I can only get here at random times. Sorry I am rubbish at linking bcak to PPs but I have read them. Have dyslexia type diffculty.

Different brains/ different but equal - Women for a variety of reasons (being left at home while men are at war, balancing the needs of several generations and both sexes whle taking care of family etc) are very adaptable and have to be. We can do men's work - albeit lifting lighter loads, taking longer to dig etc. I believe that many men are jealous/threatened/shamed by that, and frustrated when they percieve that their role is restricted to the grunt work and protecting work and that family work 'wifework' is beneath them.

Many men do not develop their 'big picture' or multitaksing abilities - the so-called man vs woman brain. Well, especially if they had a 'good' mother and then a 'good' wife.. they rarely need to. They can swtich off becasue they have the opportunity to and have practised, we know that women have less chance to do that. Nurture not nature. Patriarchy tells them that women are nagging and bothering them.

Testosterone - yes I agree this does have an effect on anger, impulse control etc, but one that can be mitigated with the appropriate understanding, channeling through constructive outlets and developing emotional intelligence. Again lack of nurturing the skills to control hormonal effects. After all we women have hormonal surges that from my own experience can be pretty strong but women generally learn not to take it our on others - not least because if we did take it out on men, we would often get a beating.

Competition for mates. Yes.

*those 3 Dworkin models really do set women up to fail in many ways don't they!

I am reading and thinking about shame and the role of that in toxic masculinity - anger and projecting/ externalising shame and anger. And how shame is linked with abuse and MH issues, and the methods used by some men (and women) suffering from deep shame (from sexual abuse or parental shaming attitudes) use to deal with that shame (eg by becoming abusers and trying to normalise abuse). I think this is a really key issue, especially in the current climate.

It also makes women more violent...

^"Higher testosterone levels are related to criminal violence and aggressive dominance among women in prison."

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/1997/09/970927110900.htm

Most men are not more aggressive than most women BUT very violent people are almost exclusively men

The extremes matter a lot here, of course women can be aggressive and violent but the very violent crime is unfortunately a male domain

Most men are not more aggressive than most women

I strongly disagree with this. Men generally direct their aggression toward other men, as evidenced by the fact that men are statistically much more likely to be attacked by a stranger and comprise the overwhelming majority of victims of violent crime.

Aggression is expressed differently, but women are aggressive too

Oh, most certainly. But it's men who will punch you for spilling their pint. (well, some men).

kesstrel excellent point at 13.22 on Thur 30 Aug.

WhereDoWeBeginToCovetClarice at 13.45 on Thur 30 Aug ...why do some men attack their pregnant wives/partners? Why do some annihilate their whole family?

Personally, I don't buy the men desperate to pass on their genes argument. Human males don't seem to act like other species's males in other areas so why should they in this?

Lots of men run a mile at the prospect of kids.

boldlygoingsomewhere

'With the domestic violence starting in pregnancy, I wonder if part of it is narcissism - he’s about to be displaced as the centre of the universe.'

This makes more sense to me.

Baumederose yikesl

MoltenLasagne and tobee - interesting.

alldaybreakfast I've seen that first hand many times

My exp was viciously assaulted by two men on his way home from the pub with a friend.. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time

Which leads to, why are some men angry with other men and women?

I don't think men even recognise their anger toward women.

A friend posted this video today - it's supposed to be a lesson about being appreciative and saying thank you.

But as soon as the male in the video sat down, my stomach clenched at, "that look". I was afraid for the woman in the video.

The husband was not being unappreciative. He was being abusive and his demeanour was controlled violence.

The chirpy narrator popped up with a message about being appreciative, as if what we'd seen was simply a bit of bad manners.

I think most women watching this would recognise the dynamic, but the man who produced it seems completely unaware that what he created was a video of someone dominating and controlling their partner with anger.

If men can't see their anger, I don't know how they will fix it. The producer has a FB page by the same name - the difference between male and female comments on the video is disturbing.

Clementine Ford writing about the "Men's March", said;

"But these aren’t oppressions inflicted by women who are forced to bear the brunt of this distress. These are issues caused by regressive, limited expectations of manhood. That these men can rail about the effect of patriarchy on them without acknowledging the source speaks to their true intention – which is to return, once again, to a state in which their suffering is at least mitigated by the power society has historically allowed them to maintain over women and children.

This is what oppression feels like to the kinds of men who turned out at the March For Men (tiny in number though they may have been). It’s the belief that any infringement on their ability to move freely through the world, however slight it might be, is akin to rounding them all up and stripping them of their fundamental human rights. If they would only unpack that, they might move one step closer to feeling truly free."
www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/how-one-little-dog-defines-the-men-s-march-20180828-p500b1.html

Hennessey says abuse is all about sexual entitlement - they won't take a no and demand they have a slave. When the woman says no, they take revenge on her.

It's very disordered thinking hence why trying to understand it by projecting our empathy driven thinking onto their rationalisations doesn't work. Their thinking doesn't make sense to anybody else but them and guys like them.

Hennessey also points out that abusive men groom women using the same tactics as paedophiles to gain their trust.

This is what these disordered guys are trying to keep under wraps - that their sexual entitlement - whether in or outside the home - knows no bounds and they want anything put in place to limit it.

I agree men get angry at each other too.

deydododatdodontdeydo your talking about women's desire to be impregnated. I was desperate yo be s mum buy I'm not sure I thought about it like that. And indeed neither of my two kids were created by anyone having sex with! Yrs I know that is unusual. My first was created with IUI, my second was adopted.

In resppnse WhereDoWeBeginToCovetClarice you seem to be equating men wanting to have sex with men wanting to create babies/become parents/ impregnate women.

Personally, I'm not sure that is true.

Maybe men really do think about sex all the time, bit I doubt it. Thet certainly think svoit sex on average more than women (in my experience).

But I'm not sure I'd equate a man's desire to have sex with a desire to create a child.

Having sex with me!

Alot of the roots for these behaviours stem from the fact that a man cannot be sure a baby they father is theirs.

The drive is to ensure the survival of their genes. So this is where alot of the controlling behaviours originate from.

And yes, the sexual urge is subconsciously the desire to impregnate.

If you look at infidelity, men are more upset at sexual affairs and women emotional ones for this reason. Generally.

Women also have evolutionary reasons for selecting multiple sexual partners, just for slightly different reasons than men. To diversify the gene pool and ensure their offspring survive.

The other posts about testosterone are very true. If you look at the hormones involved in 'love' all are designed to push both parties towards breeding, basically. That's their purpose. Hence the honeymoon period lasts a few years, enough to successfully impregnate and raise a child (past the most dangerous time in its life).

I am being lazy and not adding links but there is lots of research about this around.

Ps the violence towards other males is also for similar reasons. Acces to mates and resources as you see in chimps. Alpha chimp wants the best food and access to females. Males fight for these priviledges. Same for humans.

Bonobo monkeys are closely aligned genetically to humans. We haven't evolved that much away from the animal kingdom. Not really.

For a bit of an eye opening perspective on all sorts of behaviours, have a read up on them.

Baumederose you can be as last as you like but I'm curious where the evidence for sex being about impregnating women comes from.

I'm not sure I buy it. My husband still seems to want to have sex with me and o am well past the age of producing a baby!

Personally, I'm not sure that is true.

No I am saying these things are distinctly different - the male drive to penetrate and ejaculate, from a female urge to procreate.

Men don't have to be consciously thinking about it for it to be a near constant bother.

Women have sexual urges but they seem to peak in the 30s of women who haven't had children and reduce after having them. A lot of women don't like penetration at all especially younger women IME (although they try hard to like it because they think they are supposed to like it).

Plus I am not sure what apes do really applies to humans. In so many other ways humans, and especially human males, do not behave like other members of the animal kingdom.

Sex is fun for males (mostly) and for females (sometimes). That info is found anecdotally, wonder if there are any studies! So that could be a driving force.

The end result for fertile males and females, at the right time in the female cycle and with no contraceptive intervention is potentially a baby. I am sure that is why sex is designed to be fun but I think it's a stretch to extrapolated what we do from what animals do.

Take for example those healthy chewy bars, full of nuts and seeds. Do I eat them because they are healthy, or because I like the taste?

WhereDoWeBeginToCovetClarice ah ok, I misread you.

It's as clarice says. The reason for the testosterone driver is to impregnate females. Propagate the species and ensure offspring.

The other and more modern sexual behaviours evolved from that, but at the root, that's what it's about. Impregnating females.