little things you do each day that are a tiny bit feminist

[speakingwoman]

They can be big, or small, or misfire even....

Here's mine.
I'm working from home, on a call to a colleague. The doorbell rings.
I answer it still on the phone. It's a friend of my husband's. I ineptly signal him in and beckon husband in from garden whilst continuing call.

Once off phone, I pop into to kitchen say hi and apologise for my inept/stumbling signals saying "I'm no good at multi-tasking."

He replies "I'm not either.... but I'm a man....." and then looks a bit confused. He knows there's something askance about what I said and he's waiting for me to rescue him.

I don't. I don't qualify my statement that when engaged in work I find it difficult to simulteneously perform a domestic favour for my husband. I smile and leave.

It's small, it's crap, it's nothing really but it's done now and if another woman says it to him he might just begin to wonder whether multi-tasking really is something that women have to do but he doesn't.

I try to ensure I take up the same amount of space that a man would on public transport. Not in an aggressive or rude way, just in an 'I am here too' way. Men always react with surprise.

I correct my students' essays when they write about 'ladies' or 'mum' when what they actually mean is 'the woman' or 'women'.

I also insist on Ms, and whenever possible I will ask why it's important that my marital status is recorded.

I'm in the army and where I work, there's a bloke with the same name and the same rank but he works for me (in the sense that my command over him is legally vested in me).

Fortunately he plays right along but we're referred to as "the real" and "the pretend" and "greater" and "lesser".

It's highly enjoyable at times when people make assumptions

What I am not sure on how I can address it is the condescending comments from strangers.
Like the Tesco driver doing the deleivery who thought he needed to tell me that I left my keys at x place and ‘you dint want to leave them in the garage’ followed by ‘the garage door isnt closed love’ (yes I know I just stopped to sign on your little machine....)

I try not to include "sorry" or "just" in every single sentence

Oh yes I’ve stopped moving away a while ago.
And I always ensure I take my space in trains, a few men have clearly being upset by it too!

I always change the Police Inspector character in the Enid Blyton Secret Seven books to a female. I also change her 'policemen' to police officers and make sure there are a mixture of sexes. I confuse myself sometimes
I always, always, always talk about clothes children LIKE to wear, and toys children LIKE to play with, rather than saying 'boys' or 'girls' clothes/toys.

I walk in a straight line. Though I cheat a bit as I'm not actually walking, technically I "drive" in a straight line

I'm not sure if this is the thing you are looking for but I don't fill in awkward gaps in conversations at work. Because then you start explaining, apologising and justifying yourself. It's REALLY hard if you are a naturally talkative, nice person wot like I am .

Another one here who owns the space I am occupying, until MN I didn't realise how much I give way or move over not only in public but in my own home. I now just don't move or ask DH to move and point out when he is manspreading. He's getting exponentially better. Interestingly his mum noticed asked me what I was doing on a recent visit three weeks of torture

Oh yes, I'm working really hard at more assertive language.

'I am going to...' rather than 'Could I just...'

Getting rid of the persistent 'sorry!' is really hard though when you're female and English

When I make a cuppa (for everyone) at work I will take the women's cups and wash them up for them but not the men's. It's a small workplace with 60-40 women to men, yet the men NEVER wash up unless prompted by a second mug on their desks

When asked my title (outside of work), I always say "Ms"
When asked "Is it Miss or Mrs?" I say "It's Dr".

My colleague and I are both pregnant, and both know the sex. She refers often to her "wee man" and my "wee girl". I have started referring to my "tiny woman"

It’s all about my kids here (2 boys, 10 and 15). We don’t use the term “Guys” to the point if serving staff use the term when addressing us (me, DH and the DCs) the little one will look at me and smirk and say under his breath “my mum’s not a guy”.
I always use the term “women” in front of them.
We are a very rude house hold, so along with willy jokes, we have vagina jokes.
Refuse to buy the milk and organise the fund for it at work, telling the team that in the interests of balance, a man needs to do it, as the last three have been female. There’s another woman doing it now though.
Went my son caused trouble and an angry bloke came to the door asking for a word with my husband I asked him who as he was speaking to the parent and why did it make a difference whether the parent was the one with a penis or not? He didn’t get it.

I use Ms whenever I am writing minutes/class lists etc. I also question teachers as to how they are tackling gender stereotyping when teaching traditional tales and make them think about the sexism in princes rescuing princesses (and dragons etc being evil).
TBH I am saddened by how many younger teachers are automatically taking their husband'snsme on marriage.

Ms. Every. Single. Time.

Try not to apologise. Consistently fail at that though. Sorry.

When removal guy was two hours late for packing and thought he could get away with it with a cheeky grin and a flirtatious smile and breezy apology said "No. It's not okay. It has messed up my whole day" and was polite but firm showing him what had to be done. Before I would have said "oh not a problem at all" and been uber friendly making sure he was not at all uncomfortable.

He shat himself and wouldn't look at me when he came the next day to do the removals. Many men do not like it when you call them out...

When Gas Certificate man came to do gas check mentioned I had a rental property. When he expressed his EXTREME surprise I advised him that women were even allowed to have bank accounts and own property these days and everything.

I had a couple of sky fellas here the other week and one of them kept calling me darling when asking me a question. I called him the same and that put a stop to him pretty quick.

I’ve taken to amending gender/sex
on forms lately.

New job, put Ms on all my forms and left them hanging when they were desperate to ask why. The when there was “banter” in the break room and it turned on me (definitely not bullying, definitely lighthearted and testing the water) I shut it down without joining in which is what I’d have done before (if that’s your sex noise I feel sorry for your gf style). Later they sent a rep (totally unneeded I was fine, they weren’t sure though) , he asked if I ever got angry cause I was so calm. Was lovely to explain that “banter” was not part of my job description and carry on with my day.

I’ve stopped apologising for stuff i do t need to apologise for.

The JADE thing (justify, apologise, defend or explain) thing really struck a chord with me. At work before I left for mat leave I practised this a lot. Always polite and professional but never doing the ‘oh I’d love to but...’

I’ve also stopped using ‘but’ in arguments when I remember.

I dont swerve for men when I’m walking on the street.

I’m pointing out every little bit of crap sexism I see instead of glossing over it.

I don't understand the objection to ladies? To me it is showing respect- I would say "excuse me gentlemen" if I needed to pass men (yes, I really do and no, I'm not 90). I just find it a nicer term.

Thought of one- in meetings where there are male and female junior staff members I ask the male to take the minutes as it usually defaults to female otherwise

I assume female when talking about doctors/firefighters/whoever when talking to my DS.

Good plan on animals upthread will add that in.

This thread is inspiring me to stop apologising, thank you!

Not so much used these days but I never described DS as a "good boy" or a "big boy" or a "brave boy", I just said things like "that was a grown up thing to do" or "thank you/well done for...."

When speaking to friends' young children I avoid praising the boys for being brave/strong and instead look for something which is kind or creative. And I avoid praising the girls for being beautiful and instead look for something which is strong or clever. Trying to reverse the attention the genders usually get.

I use Dr as my title.
I try not to assume sex based on job.
I speak to DH and DS about feminism.

I pick up my male colleagues on their sexism every time. We had a long debate last week about what to call a group of women at work and whether they should say 'hello ladies/goodbye ladies' and I kindly pointed out 'good morning/goodnight' without the signifier really would work.

At work, I talk about the menopause all the time. Even when I don't have to.

Meet someone in the loos, talk about the menopause.

Out for the evening and my silent alarm goes off, point out that my HRT alarm has gone off.

Talk about the heat - it's nothing compared to the internal furnace blast of a menopausal woman.

Talk about anything related to bones - point out that women who have an early menopause lose bone density so bad that they can have the bone structure of an old women by 50, if they are not offered HRT to combat it.

Talk about anything old at all, I point out that the reason that we call them 'little old ladies' is that their bone density shrinks so fast after menopause that they actually lose height.

Talk about someone cutting themselves, I talk about the horrific blood loss that occurs for some women during the menopause so much they sometimes mistake it for a miscarriage.

I interrupt the men when I have a point, rather than waiting for them to finish.

I do whataboutery all the time. Point out that they haven't thought or considered X or Y. With a Pub Landlord 'you didn't think it through did you' stabbing pointing to the brain.

I talk about my hobbies which include chopping wood with my axe, of which I have several. And handsawing it to the right size. And turning my compost. Most things of which my colleagues look in horror at. They wouldn't turn a compost heap if I paid them.