This reminds me of the 80s when there was a lot of anti-gay feeling, in part because of the HIV / Aids fear and campaigns.
At that time, some people would say 'being a gay male is wrong, because you're not built for it' - they were referring to anal sex and how it must be wrong, because the anus is not a reproductive organ. It was ignorant, and assumed all gay sex was anal.
However, what gay people didn't do was try to argue that their arse WAS a vagina, or that it was reproductive.
They went through hell, but eventually managed to persuade most people that they were indeed normal people who just happened to enjoy all the things hetero people did, just with the same sex.
In the same way, most people are happy to understand transpeople (as best they can) and to accommodate their needs to engage with others as their chosen gender. If they want to view their penis as feminine and a clitoris, so be it, but to try and swear black is white is a different matter. This is what people object to.
Being female has a distinct scientific test. It can be measured. It's biological.
If, and IF one day, it can be proven that transpeople all share a biological identifier in common with women, but not men, then they might have an argument for saying that being female isn't just about genitalia.
Yes, there are rare conditions that can create intersex, just as there are for people born blind, or without limbs, but those are exceptions that prove the rule.
I have nothing but disdain for how illustrating these issues is deemed 'transphobic'. That argument is being used to try and present people as intrinsically wrong / ignorant / fearful / prejudiced.
I have yet to come across a single poster on MN who (to me) has appeared to be transphobic. They've just been pro-science, pro-women, and pro-solution for how to give transpeople the same level of safety that biological women need, just not in the same space, as that compromises the safety of biological women.
I've never met a gay guy who thought me homophobic because I didn't want sex with him.
I've never met a lesbian I considered heterophobic because I'm heterosexual.
Why am I frequently hearing transpeople tell others they are transphobic for the same choices?