I am a transwoman, ask me anything.

[AriadneRose]

I have been following what has been going on here and on twitter, and thought maybe it would be helpful to open a dialogue that is not reactionary or fueled by anger. So I am offering my own personal perspective as a transwoman, and am willing to answer any questions people might have, and I will try to answer them thoughtfully, respectfully and honestly.

Note: I did not create this thread to stir up trouble, I just feel open dialogue from both sides is necessary for us to move forward.

My question would be this:

Where is the violence that TRAs claim to be rife actually coming from? It must be perpetrated by people who know that someone is definitely trans right, if being trans is an internal feeling and not to do with stereotypes and outward appearances? Otherwise how would anyone know someone was trans?

Surely if a stranger attacks someone they don't know, they're doing it not because that person is trans but because they're clearly a man wearing feminine clothing, which is not about trans at all if trans is a feeling and not about stereotypes. Similarly I couldn't claim that the man who attacked me in a toilet was doing so because I'm autistic since he would have no way to tell, but he can clearly tell I'm female and was in a women's toilet, so it couldn't be argued that I could've been either sex, he was looking for a female specifically.

Someone above asked about the ASD thing. Much of what the 'self' is, is shaped by our interactions and experience with parents and others. If you find those sorts of human interactions more difficult then it can mean the sense of self is not as formed as it would be otherwise. This breeds a sense of not fitting and feeling 'other', which can lead people to search for a group to belong to.

Because many trans people do have ASD, this group is a pretty natural fit - there's a mutual understanding of the feeling of otherness and the struggles of communication and social interaction, and this then gets tied up with being trans.

Given that many people with ASD can be impressionable and naive because we're mimicking and trying to learn the rules, it's easy for us to be influenced by others and end up on a path that isn't right for us. For me this is a huge problem and another example of where trans rights are butting up against the rights of other minority groups.

OP said that puberty was one of the hardest time for them as MTF.

Puberty is one of the hardest times for EVERYONE and the exact reason not to give puberty blockers, indoctrinate in the TRAs mindset or allowing any form of transing as I remember personally I'd have done anything to have not gone through puberty, as would have anyone I know.

A rush of hormones, changing body, changing everything. I don't think anyone had an easy time during puberty .

Also I once saw a BBC (I think) programme which spoke to the mother of a MTF who described what puberty boxes d done to his body before he had surgery as a 16th birthday present. (Well she laughed about it) i shall now mention her name because she seems to regret this interviews and tries to have whoever talks about it arrested.

Perhaps I don't see trans woman and men everywhere because (a) I don't share the monomania of some posters and (b) I actually do have a life

Two transwomen sometimes come into the dress shop i work in

We have had at least two men who wanted to try dresses on

Other than that i have only 'seen' one transwoman in another shop, a friends child (young adult) and a school child both of whom identify as the opposite sex. One male and one female

I think its stupid when people say that its weird that you dont know any transpeople or disabled people or black people

Especially as 'know' doesnt mean to me that i saw someone once

But i also think its stupid to rise to any bait by saying that its a bad thing if you have met someone like the above

^I acknowledge the need for closed spaces that only women who are born as women are entitled to.*

No, no no. Not "born women" or "women who are born as women" or "natal woman" or "cis women" ... WOMEN. We do not need different/new identifiers. That word has pretty much suited (most) of us for I don't know how long (someone will be able to tell me though )

Why do I have to change my identifiers because you don't want to be known as "man" any more?

Spaghettijumper, just wanted to say your 1130 post on the 4th May was brilliant, and I think you might be spot on.

(back to RTFT)

I don't feel like a woman, I just am one. Just like I don't feel like a human, I just am one.
You don't get to be the last word on how other people feel.

What part of the pronoun "I" made you think that I was talking about how other people feel?

The point was that it is a TRA myth that a Woman is someone who feels like a woman. It is just not true. Many if not most of us don't have any such feeling and yet we are women.

TIM's are not hard to spot. It's the facial features, shape of the body and their voice. You can usually tell by how they walk too.

How can you possibly know this to be true?

What you mean is that you have seen people that you think are transwomen.

But how do you know that out of every other woman that you have ever walked past none of them are trans?

Unless you have sampled the DNA of every person you have ever met you cannot possibly know.

ZOMBIE THREAD

Don't be dragged in.