I am a transwoman, ask me anything.

[AriadneRose]

I have been following what has been going on here and on twitter, and thought maybe it would be helpful to open a dialogue that is not reactionary or fueled by anger. So I am offering my own personal perspective as a transwoman, and am willing to answer any questions people might have, and I will try to answer them thoughtfully, respectfully and honestly.

Note: I did not create this thread to stir up trouble, I just feel open dialogue from both sides is necessary for us to move forward.

I wonder if we were to wake up in a male body if we'd suddenly recognise a feeling of feeling like a woman?

I've wondered that too. But of course we have a lifetime of growing used to our bodies and being socialised as female. If I suddenly turned into a man I'd probably seem timid and unassertive, not very 'manly'. If I'd been born and brought up male though, with the same brain but a different mix of hormones? I don't think I'd notice a problem.

I can imagine an issue if there's a switch in the brain that tells you whether to expect a penis or vagina on your body. We do have a 'body map' (the sensory homunculus). Whether that is what's going on with trans people though, I don't know. If it is, and it genuinely affects up to 1% of the population, why hasn't this been noted in other cultures? Yes there is a 'third sex' in some cultures, but that's not the same as trans - it's not the concept that someone with a male body actually is a woman. Third sex people tend to be gay, eunuchs or intersex.

@NotTerfNorCis yeah I mean like I said we will never know. It was just a pondering.

I do think that sometimes we (as a collective) could be more sensitive towards feelings without changing our stance on whether feelings actually define sex.

Very interesting thread but I must have missed the hatred, bile, vitriol part. Where was it ShrodingersCat?

Very interesting thread but I must have missed the hatred, bile, vitriol part. Where was it ShrodingersCat?

Misogynists always know what we mean regardless of what we say and they expect us to know what they mean regardless of what they say. Bizarre I know but you see it everywhere.

9th rule of misogyny: Men always know the "real reasons" for everything women do and say.

Schrodinger.
Hatred and bile you you are the only one name calling.

As mentioned up thread why is there a name for women who think that people with penises are men but not a name for men who feel this way?

Also, spend their time worrying about more important things, like how not to be beaten to a pulp, raped or killed, so like all women ever in all of history in every single nation on earth then.

In years to come kids will look back on the kinds of attitudes that prevailed here today like children now must look back at racists in the days of the civil-rights-era

But racism is wrong because there is no biological difference between having one shade of skin over another.

This is unlike being male or female where there is a biological difference between. Only an idiot would ignore that biological difference just as only an idiot would discriminate on skin shades.

The two (race and sex) are polar opposites - race has no binary difference whereas sex does.

Hatred and bile you you are the only one name calling.

The hatred and bile only ever comes from those banging on about hatred and bile.

Robust exchanges of views are not hatred and bile.

I can't help but feel that we've torn this thread apart ourselves by allowing Schrodinger to derail it.

And by all laying it on rather than just ignoring her.

I reported schrodinger as they used disablist discriminatory language on the thread and I was offended.

I don't know any trans women. And unless all trans women are passing brilliantly in shops, restaurants, pubs etc I can't even think of an occasion when I have even noticed a trans woman. So either they are passing brilliantly or more likely there are very few trans women

If you live in a big city you'd be hard pressed never to have encountered a transperson, even if you're not friends with them. I don't think I've ever met someone who's never met a transwoman. Altho Im often surprised at the narrowness of some posters' social experiences here.

The only trans person I know in real life is a trans man. I do know that he does not remotely fit the image of a young woman who is really a lesbian and is being bullied into being trans.

What image? Why would he?

If you live in a big city you'd be hard pressed never to have encountered a transperson, even if you're not friends with them. I don't think I've ever met someone who's never met a transwoman. Altho Im often surprised at the narrowness of some posters' social experiences here

I live in Edinburgh. I am in London about once a month. I was in London last weekend.

I'm surprised at the narrowness of some poster's minds.

And as for the trans man the stereotype trans man on FWR is a lesbian who is being bullied into not being a lesbian. My trans man friend was heterosexual before transitioning and now identifies as a gay man.

Altho Im often surprised at the narrowness of some posters' social experiences here

Oh how hilarious- you are the person who accused the OP of being patronising.

My trans man friend was heterosexual before transitioning and now identifies as a gay man

And your trans man friend has no more idea of what it is to be a gay man than I know what it is to be a straight woman.

I’ve deliberately just lurked on this thread (and a couple more today as I felt my input wasn’t really needed) but this post just made my eyebrows shoot to the back of my head.

Soupforbrains: I can't help but feel that we've torn this thread apart ourselves by allowing Schrodinger to derail it.

Maybe that was her 'cunning plan' all along.....?

I live in a small town, a typically boring town and I know of at least 3 trans men and 4 trans women. The trans women are older men, often seen with their kids and the trans men are teenagers.

And your trans man friend has no more idea of what it is to be a gay man than I know what it is to be a straight woman

I'm sure that is the case and I'm sure the dating pool will be shallow. I mentioned it because the mantra on here is that trans men would all be lesbians if left alone.

Trans people are apparently less than 1% of the population. Do those of you who know of "at least 3 trans men and 4 trans women" spend your time on high alert looking out for them? Because despite living in a city, working full time in a city, going out a lot in 2 cities I cannot think of a single occasion i have noticed someone and thought they were a trans man or woman.

Fewer in the corporate/legal world lass

It's not a mantra lass. It's a fact that most teenage girls who come out as trans and then desist are lesbians.

Fewer in the corporate/legal world lass

I don't spend my entire life in the office. I have not once in either Edinburgh or even in London noticed a person and thought they might be a trans man or woman.

Are you absolutely positive that you will never, ever regret it? Female to male trans find themselves being taken more seriously but male to female trans apparently are never taken seriously again in the workplace and may even suffer a lower wage which is disgraceful.

There's more to being a woman than nice clothes, hair, shoes and make-up. Hand on heart, if you'd had to put up with the crappy parts of being a woman, such as periods and the pain and inconvenience that often goes with them would you have found this off-putting?

Is life really better as a woman? If it was we wouldn't have had to have these long campaigns for getting the vote, equal pay, maternity leave, etc, etc. In many parts of the world it's still really shitty.

There is an element of internet vs real life going on in terms of visibility. I would wager that a proportion of people who are trans online are not 'out' in any meaningful way in day to day life. I imagine this to be particularly prevalent on site like Tumblr and anything else with a large teen and young adult demographic.

I was on another health-related forum recently when a poster came on and in their first post announced they were a transwoman "but not full-time".

Totally irrelevant to the rest of the content of their post, but, imo, used to ensure a non-critical response to what they were about to say, by playing the victim card at the off.

I live in Edinburgh. I am in London about once a month. I was in London last weekend.

Well in that case it's an extraordinary achievement never to have met a transwoman, ever. A mid-transition transwoman works in my local Sainsbury's, I was recently on a hospital ward with a fully transitioned transwoman. And I've previously worked with one who was head of a small company. That's just a small sample. Even if you don't know any socially, there's plenty around.

And as for the trans man the stereotype trans man on FWR is a lesbian who is being bullied into not being a lesbian. My trans man friend was heterosexual before transitioning and now identifies as a gay man.

What's this got to do with me?

Oh how hilarious- you are the person who accused the OP of being patronising

I'm simply stating a fact. If you find that patronising that's up to you, it doesn't mean the OP isn't.

And I'm not starting a thread with an uber-patronising premise.