I am a transwoman, ask me anything.

[AriadneRose]

I have been following what has been going on here and on twitter, and thought maybe it would be helpful to open a dialogue that is not reactionary or fueled by anger. So I am offering my own personal perspective as a transwoman, and am willing to answer any questions people might have, and I will try to answer them thoughtfully, respectfully and honestly.

Note: I did not create this thread to stir up trouble, I just feel open dialogue from both sides is necessary for us to move forward.

I'm simply stating a fact. If you find that patronising that's up to you, it doesn't mean the OP isn't

No you are not "stating a fact". You made a comment intended to be nasty based on "facts" you made up about me.

Your opinion of the OP is she was patronising. That is not a fact. That is your opinion. I don't agree with your opinion.

You were also trying to create some group hive mind by your use of "we" as if you speak for all women posting on here. You do not speak for me.

Perhaps I don't see trans woman and men everywhere because (a) I don't share the monomania of some posters and (b) I actually do have a life. And yes that was meant to be patronising.

And I'm not starting a thread with an uber-patronising premise

Your opinion is not a fact. I don't see anything patronising in the opening post. I thought it was an interesting point. I didn't have time to post before the thread turned into the usual bun fight , including your useful comment that "we" don't need to hear what the OP might have had to say.

What's this got to do with me?

I wasn't replying to you. Not everything is about you.

Perhaps I don't see trans woman and men everywhere because (a) I don't share the monomania of some posters and (b) I actually do have a life. And yes that was meant to be patronising.

But to be fair, Lass, it's a common assumption on the part of people who join to specifically post here in support of the gender affirmative view, that FWR members are only gender critical because they don't know any trans people and are ignorant of the issues.

But many FWR members do know trans people and are sympathetic to trans issues - but because they have a gender critical analysis, that sympathy ends at the point rights conflict or safeguarding frameworks are compromised.

I don't think it's unreasonable to point that out on threads like this one - where the OP had clearly arrived with the assumption that if only everyone here could just know a trans person, they would change their view from gender critical to gender affirmative.

The assumption of ignorance is bound to piss people off.

The fact I was referring to was this:

Im often surprised at the narrowness of some posters' social experiences here

That is a fact. It's not specific to you.

I have made up no 'facts' about you I know nothing about you.

I didn't say that the OP being patronising was a 'fact' if you read my posts, that indeed is my opinion.

A 'hive mind' is a bizarre notion. I was simply pointing out that women on here generally, tho clearly not you, know transwomen and transwomen and are familiar with the issues. Recent posts have born this out.

Perhaps I don't see trans woman and men everywhere because (a) I don't share the monomania of some posters and (b) I actually do have a life. And yes that was meant to be patronising

You may have meant to be patronising, but it just sounds a bit bananas. Observing that are numbers of transpeople around is now 'monomania'.

Maybe you just need to get out more.

TIM's are not hard to spot. It's the facial features, shape of the body and their voice. You can usually tell by how they walk too. I know in the nearest city to me there is a small trans community, I've seen one or two out and about.

The first TIM I ever saw was in a pub in the early 80's in a town I didn't live in. Everyone knew them and pointed them out as it was so rare then.

Your opinion is not a fact. I don't see anything patronising in the opening post. I thought it was an interesting point. I didn't have time to post before the thread turned into the usual bun fight , including your useful comment that "we" don't need to hear what the OP might have had to say.

Sigh. Again, yes it's my opinion. And also that of plenty of other posters on the thread.

I didn't say we didn't need to hear what OP had to say, but that it was patronising to assume we're all ignorant of trans issues.

I wasn't replying to you.

Fine. It was in a post addressed to me - hence the confusion.

I didn't say we didn't need to hear what OP had to say, but that it was patronising to assume we're all ignorant of trans issues

Stuff like this gets me. We wimminz can't understand trans stuff but TIM's know exactly what it feels like to be a woman.

Good point.

Stuff like this gets me. We wimminz can't understand trans stuff but TIM's know exactly what it feels like to be a woman

I think the OP was offering to talk about what she felt as a trans woman until some of you decided that "we" don't need to hear what she had to say because "we" know all about trans issues.

You (general you) say you want a debate- doesn't look like it to me.

LassWiADelicateAir - You (general you) say you want a debate- doesn't look like it to me.

Hardly surprising coming from you (meaning you).

You (general you) say you want a debate- doesn't look like it to me.

But do we (the general we) say that? This is feminist chat, it's not promoted as a place to debate. It is going to be a place where feminist chat and discuss their feelings and experiences and don't have to have fair debate.

I'm not saying that debate isn't welcome, but I don't even think the op was asking for debate. The op was offering their experiences as a TIM, not a debate.

still catching up 'Yesterday 11:04' BeyondParody
"Thank you ariad, good (and appropriately feminist  ) answer!

Of course in any sane world the answer would be both (I'm in Wales, we don't even have the one yet)" very true. Good answer @AriadneRose

Tbf I don't think OP said debate she said ask me questions. Many threads have been started along the same line.

I'm not saying that debate isn't welcome, but I don't even think the op was asking for debate. The op was offering their experiences as a TIM, not a debate.

Yes she was offfering up her experiences which a poster decided "we" didn't need to hear because "we" know all about it.

I think you need to take a break Lass. You're being super-argumentative all over the shop today.

I've come late to this party but do have a question for you, OP.

You do know you're not a woman don't you?
And a supplementary to that, if I may - Why do you think you should stop being a man, is there really not room in malehood for you?

In all the discourse about this subject I've not hear a trans person's answers to these questions that I could understand.

I have a question, how can you be sure you feel like a woman when you don't know for sure how a woman feels? Aren't you constructing a persona based upon a perception? Your brain cannot be a woman's brain because it doesn't have the fundamental biological support system in the hormonal sense to actually be a woman. So you could argue that there is no biological need for changing sex and that it's purely a psychological state of being?

In which case you thinking you are a woman is no different in that sense to someone thinking they are something or someone else. So if that were the case what is your basis for demanding equal rights to women? What supports your right to have your psychological construct recognised higher than say someone who feels that they are someone or something else?

I am genuinely open to expanding my thinking on this but I just cannot get past this logic loop.

I think you need to take a break Lass. You're being super-argumentative all over the shop today

Oh the irony. All that talk about women's voices being shut down women's coupled with a faux concern calm down. Well I suppose it worked to drive the OP away.

You chat shit a lot of the time @LassWiADelicateAir but you're better than that. You're a very clever woman. You don't need to resort to hyperbole and petty point scoring. It's insulting to us and you to resort to lazy attacks.

If you live in Scotland there are very few trans folk around. The few I have met were through my work and the SGP. Fife is not a hive of transactivity.
I am opposed to the GRA but I don't see longstanding transsexuals who just get on with their lives and aren't campaigning with the TRAs as a problem.
I don't believe men can become women but I don't believe God exists either but am happy to let religious people worship as long as my rights and life aren't adversely affected.

@AriadneRose @JayceeDove thanks both for joining even for a short time, that really can't be easy and no one made you. Please do stick around: from my own gender-critical feminist's perspective, you are very welcome here.

I am opposed to the GRA but I don't see longstanding transsexuals who just get on with their lives and aren't campaigning with the TRAs as a problem

Presumably you haven't read the thread about the letter in The Guardian by a number of long standing transexuals? There seems to be plenty of posters who have a problem with them.

@Neverseen this thread has moved so fast and I have only just caught up!

You posted on Friday about teens identifying as trans in very large numbers (relatively speaking).

I’m not sure if the OP or anyone else answered your question/query so I wonder if I might give you my few pennies worth, please?

I have not had personal experience of being trans but I do know a few people who are trans identifying young females, either in wider family or friends; and like most people here I have read up a lot about it of late.

You said...
“There has been a wave of younger people coming out as 'trans' (school kids). A friend, who is gay and a teacher, has commented about the amount of teens suddenly 'identifying' as trans (currently around 10 at the school he teaches at, and we do not live in a high population area). I sympathise with teens truly dealing with this, but I can't help feeling some of these children are doing it for attention and will regret their decision in a few years when they have matured but have already started/made the transition.”

I agree with you that some may make a form of transition and regret that. There was a documentary (BBC I think) about some young women who had taken Testosterone and then decided it was not right for them and were left with facial hair and deep voices.

However, I really do not think that many teens are “doing it for attention.” Especially young females.

Many young women who are suffering with dysphoria are actually keen to stay out of the limelight. They wear baggy clothes and even bind their breasts to conceal their female bodies. Some may not actually bind their breasts but instead hide them under multiple layers.

I am not sure if they all, “…get special treatment at school, home and over social media” however, I do think that the social media aspect of it is very real. They may find a connection to the many trans people posting and they identify with what those people are saying. So I do agree that to some extent, “…teenagers especially feed off this.” And I also agree that “They might be gay or confused”

There are now some people talking about Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria (ROGD) and you may find reading up about that is useful.

In some ways no one knows who will genuinely go onto be trans and who will desists in some way. "I am wondering whether you agree that the amount of youngsters transitioning is just because of society now being more open, or there is genuine concern that some children are using trans as a way of getting attention?”

I think societies openness may have something to do with it but I also think that there is a lot of unhappiness and dissatisfaction around for young teens, a lot of pressure.

I am not sure there is a lot of evidence that people are doing this for attention, or feigning mental illness for this reason.

I do think there are possibly a lot of dysphoric girls who may be on the autistic spectrum, there is a correlation there, not sure exactly how it works but there does seem to be a connection.

I think ASD not being diagnosed in girls and the general lack of mental health services for teens/long waiting times etc all adds to problems. My dd has ASD and my friends dd is trans identifying and almost certainly has ASD, another friend’s child has mental health issues and she has waited ages for help (and she also has 'gender issues' - not sure how else to say it).

So I think there is a massive big picture which we are only seeing fragments of for teens at the moment. But as I say I am coming at this from having read about it and not from a personal perspective.

To me the worst thing about the proposals to change the GRA including self ID is that they aren't being publicised enough.

Many women and men of my parents age have no idea that this is happening and no idea of what it means to allow self ID as a legal right.

I think it is very wrong that something as important as this could happen and a lot of people know nothing about it.

I have read and commented on the thread Lass. I said "I" don't have a problem with it. Other people can have their own opinions.