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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

OK, I'm a man now. Join me?

510 replies

AssignedPerfectAtBirth · 04/09/2017 13:25

If I can't beat 'em...

I'm going to put my 'gender' as male now. Going to 'live a man' but I am not going to change my clothes, not that I wear skirts much anyway. I will still style my hair and wear makeup because I will not be defined.

So I'm going to tell me DH and children tonight. I'm not sure if DH will accept that he is now gay.

Any one want to out their inner man and join me on my journey?

OP posts:
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usernamealreadytaken · 05/09/2017 08:02

Grunt (can't say 'good morning', obvs). Sherman Marsh checking in for early shift. Am so very manly that even my new name has man in, to reiterate how awesomely manly I actually am. Bit pissed off atm though; have just spent twenty years and far more than I would really care to tally about a fiver on IPL to remove my luxuriant moustache. I'll have to get a girly eyebrow pencil and draw it back on but will obviously make it look entirely convincing unlike those caterpillar eyebrows that girls do. DH took quite well to being newly gay, he's a good bloke and has toddled off to his little job while today I'll probably ignore the children and go sit in the shed workshop.

Backingvocals · 05/09/2017 08:02

S'alright Colin. We'll just get all the other dogs to stop wagging. They are oppressing you with their biology.

Biddlyboo · 05/09/2017 08:03

Now then lads, Guy back again.
Blokes bogs are a bit of an issue. My tackle has trouble with the urinals and as much as I don't mind a bit of piss on the floor, all down my trousers isn't really what I'm after. Can we campaign for more cubicles in he gents on the basis that urinals are discriminatory?

Kr1stina · 05/09/2017 08:11

S'alright Colin. We'll just get all the other dogs to stop wagging. They are oppressing you with their biology

Grin

Now This identifying as a man is going to well, I was wondering if I can identity as 15 year old on the train to work today and get a child's fare ? What do you think ?

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/09/2017 08:17

colin - don't worry about biology. It's a very outdated scientific concept these days. I am a man. So I know these things. Just let me know if you have any more questions. I'm an expert on everything

Backingvocals · 05/09/2017 08:17

We should use the disabled ones. Equality.

FlaviaAlbia · 05/09/2017 08:23

@Lurkedforever1 yes! Meet you at the pub for a proper discussion? I'll get the first round in.

Tamatoa · 05/09/2017 08:28

Raul Simmons. I've just experienced some disgusting bigotry from my 'penis bearer' wife. I bought a strap on, whispered 'come on babe, it'll be sexy' as I prodded it into his back, but nooooooo, he's not "into it"......what about ME? I'm getting blue balls over here!!

Biddlyboo · 05/09/2017 08:33

Backing that won't validate us as men though will it? Perhaps if we were to rename those shewee things the chicks use, then I can stand proudly at the urinals.

Ereshkigal · 05/09/2017 08:34

Hewee.

Biddlyboo · 05/09/2017 08:40

That'll do Ereshkigal. It needs to be dick shaped and huge though. Show those cismen what a proper cock looks like.

AlternativeTentacle · 05/09/2017 08:41

Just pissed on the seat and left a dribble on the floor. The fairies sort that out, right?

ColinTheDachshund · 05/09/2017 09:10

They are oppressing you with their biology

Too right. I mean, it's completely irrelevant that cis dogs have 39 pairs of chromosomes and trans dogs only have 23, mammals have all sorts of numbers of chromosomes, its like a continuum or something.

oneinfifty · 05/09/2017 09:29

Geoffrey - hm, how are you going to be presenting?

Geoff here- good point Errol. I will be wearing trousers and no makeup but I did that when I was a woman too.

After a good manly sleep (unfettered by womanly thoughts about getting the kids ready the next day etc) I have solved my problem about whether to tell work/friends. I will simply tell my sister and my female junior colleague and ask them to tell people if and when they think it's appropriate. That way I don't need to make a decision but have someone to blame if it turns out badly.

The solution was obvious really- all this worrying about dealing with my own crap must be a throw back to by girlie days. Now that I am an expert (after almost 10 hours of doing this) I will probably make my fortune writing books for women to tell them what they're doing wrong in their lives.

imablackstarnotapopstar · 05/09/2017 09:36

Since identifying as a man last night I am now producing sperm from my new advanced penis - so much so I'm having to wear a boxers shorts liner to mop it up today! Result!

Lolly49 · 05/09/2017 10:00

Now I identify as a man I can't find anything in the house.Will have to ask Oh later.
Geoff what a great idea let the little ladies decide,I will get you a pint with a chaser later.

Lurkedforever1 · 05/09/2017 10:03

flavia but of course. But as a working dad I now deserve lots of me time, so can we combine that with leering at people and some manly sexual harassment of other patrons?

I will be wearing a suit and talking loudly about important manly business shit into my Bluetooth headset, if I keep saying 'funding, presentation, investors on board, the wife' then everyone will know we are very important men discussing sport at a highly intellectual level.

FlaviaAlbia · 05/09/2017 10:20

Ah yes, of course! You know what they say about all work and no play.

It's hard to being a man and fitting all these activities into one pub visit, I bet women can't manage it, that's why they don't do it.

Lurkedforever1 · 05/09/2017 10:33

Yes their women brains can't handle it. And the bar staff will serve us quickly now because I will stick my arm over the bar waving my card and shouting either 'bro' or 'sweetheart' at them.

StoatofDisarray · 05/09/2017 10:34

Adolfo Shaver reporting for duty.

SophoclesTheFox · 05/09/2017 10:39

I am looking forward to fielding questions about how I can "have it all" - I can just look baffled and/or laugh in people's faces at the concept. That's for the ladies to worry about, not manly me.

BossyBitch · 05/09/2017 10:41

As a man, I'm now off to tell that sorry wanker in engineering that he should stop whining about his missed promotion and deliver because my mangina is bigger than his!

Then I'll go for an expensive lunch with the cute girl from the client team I'd really like to fuck, which I'll put on my expense account because she's a client and I want a sexual relationship if I can manage to convince her - obviously making this client relationship management.

BeyondLimitsAndWhatever · 05/09/2017 10:41

My name is Norberto, and I'm gonna be pope.
I can identify as catholic too, can't I? Who am I kidding, of course I can - I'm a man and my word is final.

BossyBitch · 05/09/2017 10:44

Norberto just identify as pope! Trans popes are popes and trans Catholics are Catholics. Only transphobes think that Zeus is not a valid Catholic deity! Bigots!

Blanchefleur · 05/09/2017 11:18

Morning, gents. Floyd Walters here.

Anyone fancy joining the Freemasons? According to the United Grand Lodge of England, Freemasonry is all about making good men better . I'm sure they would welcome our advice.

One thing's for sure, we don't need to worry about any transphobia here! They say it themselves: we treat everyone as equal and We respect the opinions of others and behave with understanding towards them.

ugle.org.uk/contact-us/interested-in-becoming-a-freemason