OK, I'm a man now. Join me?

[AssignedPerfectAtBirth]

If I can't beat 'em...

I'm going to put my 'gender' as male now. Going to 'live a man' but I am not going to change my clothes, not that I wear skirts much anyway. I will still style my hair and wear makeup because I will not be defined.

So I'm going to tell me DH and children tonight. I'm not sure if DH will accept that he is now gay.

Any one want to out their inner man and join me on my journey?

[AssignedPerfectAtBirth]

Send him a pic of your arse. Hairy up the arsehole a bit though

[Terfing]

OI lads, there's a bloke on Twitter I fancy. How should I win him over?

[AssignedPerfectAtBirth]

Ok so I have been on a spa weekend with the guys. Was good to bond. We did lots of champs and face packs. And talked about flowers.

Actually, we did do that. And discussed other allegedly 'important' topics

[Lurkedforever1]

scallion I already knew that, I am a bloke after all.

dj it's neither. It is actually the first car phone, located in the bonnet as you can see. We know it is the bonnet because two men are stood by it looking knowledgeable. This caused quite a stir at the time because car phones hadn't even been invented.

With this being the case, the technology wasn't refined, hence it taking up all of the space and having lots of bits to poke and say 'hmm' at.

One man is explaining to the other the benefits of being able to call ahead so the old ball and chain can have dinner on the table, and the second man is nodding sagely to indicate he already knew all of this.

[DJBaggySmalls]

Lurkedforever1 Help a chap; is this the engine or a drum kit in the boot?

[scalliondays]

Great Lurked - you sound like a top bloke to take to the garage

[Lurkedforever1]

scallion no worries dude. I realised that you'd just misinterpreted. If you were a woman I would have just posted 'oooh, bad time of the month is it love' when you got offended.

No problem on the car help, nobody knows more than me. I'll spend at least 5 minutes trying to open the bonnet, open the petrol cap by mistake and then pretend it was actually that I wanted to inspect whilst muttering 'what's the mpg?' Then when someone shows me the actual catch I will ask why the manufacturers hide them in such stupid places. I will then frown at the engine and talk about technical shit, like 14 valve, horsepower and possibly jump leads, as though they are visible parts of the engine that I am examining, before giving the windscreen wash cap a professional twist and declaring it a nice clean engine.

can are you trying to call us women and imply our apologies were genuinely meant, and given with regards to the other persons feelings. No mate, they were manly apologies given grudgingly and not meant at all, and possibly because as a man I now associate saying sorry with make up sex.

[YetAnotherSpartacus]

^ Mine would think he'd died in his sleep and gone to heaven.

[BeyondLimitsAndWhatever]

I'm gonna ply DH with my sexy legless self, I reckon.
How could he turn that down? Who doesn't like being woken up and pawed at by someone who is three sheets to the wind at two in the morning?

[Datun]

Well I'm off to golf. Gay DH is cooking a tagine for me and my mates tonight. I guess the other halves will be there too, but I can't be bothered to check. As I said to him, what difference will 3 extra people make!?

I'll arrive just in time to loftily bang on about the wine. Then, if I make coffees, everyone will thank me for my wonderful hospitality.

I'm looking forward to some nice pillow talk chatting about the evening and how well I did, followed by some hot sex, unless of course he nods off halfway through me reliving the 18th. Strewth, it's not like he has had to walk miles in the sunshine today, is it? Lightweight.

[BeyondLimitsAndWhatever]

Today I've sent the other half out shopping to buy me some clothes as I'm incapable of buying them myself, then I'm off out on the piss tonight. I'm lying here in my dressing gown, babysitting the kids while he's out (they are watching tv while I'm on my iPad vaguely acknowledging their presence every so often).

all of that is totally true and not at all embellished for the thread

[IfNot]

I'm at rugby training with the little un.
I'm shouting constant advice to him, very loudly. Giving him the benefit of my expertise. I mean, they've got to learn, eh?
When I was a woman I used to go off and get a coffee, because I knew absolutely nothing about rugby.

[busyboysmum]

Well trouble is it's pissing down with rain and eldest son still wants his dad to go fishing with him.

So I've switched back to being a woman for the day so I can take the younger ones to the cinema instead.

[MCBeatsandGrindah]

Right it's the weekend! Where are you all off to for your hobbies? I'm a MAMIL (although obviously I don't know I am called this) so I am out 7-7 today and tomorrow - will be back just in time for dinner made by the missus and she'll have put the kids to bed too, having been with them all day on her own. Champion.

[Datun]

Laughing at this thread.

Sorry, smirking and not really listening.

[CanIBuffalo]

Apologies?! Huge apologies?!
Maaaate?
No way.

[scalliondays]

Lurked - huge apologies - and thanks Errol - I managed to misread it twice and then got into a big huff! Haven't manage to shake off my womanly foible of being sensitive to criticism....
I'd ask you to come to the garage with me to negotiate for a new car as my local dealer just laughed and called me 'love' and said he's find me a nice little runner whilst winking at his colleagues. You'd wouldn't be exaggerating your knowledge though would you?

[Lurkedforever1]

You're right errol.
I was joking about your ds scallion.

bob mate, just realised I haven't apologised for insulting you by abbreviating your name to ali. Don't know what I was thinking, insulting a sound geezer with that most foul of put downs, a reference to something stereotypically female.

When I was a woman I was ok at basic car stuff, but had a bad habit of researching or paying for the stuff I didn't know about. But you'll be pleased to know I've sourced a dirty great bull bar for the front of my car. It appears to be for a different model because I'm too manly for details, but it looks good superglued to my bonnet, and more importantly will show just who owns the road when I am out and about.

I've also spent today talking loudly about cars. Sharing my informed opinions on whether I prefer the old Toyota defender or the 4wd Land Rover hilux, and comparing the drive quality of a colleagues Lexus A3 to a merc 6 series, whilst pointing at their bmw. As the ladies can't possibly know anything about cars or driving, they were massively impressed with my extensive motoring knowledge. With some fascinating tales about my road rage thrown in for good measure.

[ErrolTheDragon]

Scallion - I think lurked was referring to your DS!

[scalliondays]

Lweji and Ada - I don't have a sufficiently good 'sad face' and I doubt I'd be the first.
Lurked actually not that young at all and definitely not transphobic - just old enough to know that actually bioiogy matters. There's not a chance that I could pass as a man and since men aren't socialised into nicely pretending I am one then I just need to get on with my lot - just like most women - we don't have a choice but to notice the odds stacked against us due to the realities of biology.

[QuentinSummers]

*cis men suicide risk. Even my phone is a transphobe

[QuentinSummers]

Yeah, no need for change, this is already the board which attracts most good old MRAs.

Good point errol. Thing is though, they never talk about real men's issues, like how transphobia it is that gay men won't sucking manclit. The penis fetishists.
Also really they need to centre postnatal depression in men's mental health initiatives rather than banging on about did men's suicide risk.
Really MRAs are just transphobes.

[Lurkedforever1]

scallion so young and yet so transphobic.

[AdaColeman]

Go for it scalliondays think of the money you will make by selling your story as Britain's first breast chest feeding man.

[Ereshkigal]

Just needs a tweak - Everyday Feminism Chat.