Feminism as "let's be nice to everyone"

[OneFlewOverTheDodosNest]

I've started getting the rage with celebrities and women I know who like to virtue signal about the importance of feminism, but then make the definition of feminism so broad that's it's useless.

Some things I've seen lately that have made my teeth clench include "feminism works for all genders", "feminism is another word for equalism", "we can only make feminism work if we get men on side, so let's be nice to them" "here's a list of things feminism works on for men" etc etc.

One thing that REALLY pissed me off was Emma-Feminist-Watson (I know...) saying that boys not being able to cry was the "saddest thing" she could think of and it just really brought home to me how feminism has turned from this fight to liberate woman, to this platitude designed to show that you're nice but "don't worry, not in a threatening way". Seriously, you can't think of a single thing SADDER than a bloke being emotionally stunted?

How did it happen that mainstream feminism started focusing on the emotional needs of men, rather than the increasing rates of DV and sexual violence? How did the conversation shift from "we need to fund these shelters for women" to "we need to make sure men have refuges [that never get used]"?

BertrandRussell
"You are rewriting this, you referred only to young men and boys rather than young people until challenged*

Nope sorry.

You challenged this at 00:10

I wrote 'young people' in a post at 11:11

I do change the term as 80% of the time I do work with boys but I also work with girls. Technically most of the young people are children.

I do say 'in the enemy camp' as some of the views I encounter are deeply, profoundly misogynistic yet the person expressing those views can be someone I have come to like. We can get a bit 'Stockholm' sometimes and need bringing round.

At a conference I met a woman who worked with sex offenders in prison. Her work is infinitely more challenging than mine but we were able to share some experiences of 'being in the enemy camp'. Interesting topic.

'We can get a bit 'Stockholm' sometimes and need bringing round.'

There are of course a number of feminist issues around women doing these caring roles in society, which are relevant to this thread - the impact on your own wellbeing.

Perhaps one of the difficulties here is that you're very much in the position of a worker - a person who helps other people, gets sessions to discuss that with a manager or co-worker, and is applying feminism to that.

But that isn't the model for many women and feminism. I'm not a worker trying to apply feminism to some vulnerable group of women or girls. I feel pretty vulnerable myself, have gone through a load of crap, and understanding the experiences of women as a class helps me make sense of my own situation and how to function in the world.

If it helps you to articulate your perspective on feminism, by all means mention your work, but it's your job, not really personal information about you, and so asking other people what their background/personal info/ experiences they're bringing to feminism is, isn't something people frequently state.

I do say 'in the enemy camp' as some of the views I encounter are deeply, profoundly misogynistic yet the person expressing those views can be someone I have come to like. We can get a bit 'Stockholm' sometimes and need bringing round.

That explains a lot.

I recommend spending your weekends with feminism to balance things out.