Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

I've just been lectured at by a trans woman for painting my daughter's room pink

147 replies

Funnyonion17 · 03/04/2017 13:33

Just that. That's the 3rd time during my pregnancy I've been ranted at about gender and I've seriously had enough. Apparently by painting her room pink I'm assuming she's going to be a girl (she's deffo a girl unless the scan was wrong but hey ho). According to the person ranting at me it's irresponsible to paint the room pink and i should base it on the babies personality instead. She's 33 weeks in my womb, she has no personality! I just wanted a pretty space to store her clothes etc. Also after my scan i was ranted at over on the baby boards, apparently her sex is a girl her gender in unknown. I'm sick to death now of being made to feel I'm irresponsible for acknowledging my unborn child as a girl. It's madness. Sorry if my post is a bit disjointed, i have a bad case of sleep deprivation today.

OP posts:
comeagainforbigfudge · 03/04/2017 14:16

F&B "stroppy child" Grin

Wonder if they do a shade of "will not eat anything but cheese or rice krispies"

NSEA · 03/04/2017 14:16

Your friend is a moron. Girls can like pink and boys can like pink and girls who identify as boys can like pink.

willothewisp17 · 03/04/2017 14:16

oh wow, my little lady's room must be a total nightmare then, pink everywhere 😊😂 paint the room for her personality! so we should all just decorate our new borns rooms with baby milk and drool, cause that's about all the personality their is in he beginning 😂

laugh it off, like you said, can't reason with unreasonable people op 💖

brasty · 03/04/2017 14:21

FFS that is awful OP.

As for the nursery, when they are babies they won't really care what colour the nursery is painted. I think nursery decoration is more for parents to enjoy. Because once she gets to the age to choose herself, she will probably choose something hideous anyway.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 03/04/2017 14:23

Nipples are pink. I'm pretty sure the room will suit her personality.

tinypop4 · 03/04/2017 14:23

Hi how utterly ridiculous of this stranger op. Take a deep breath and thoroughly ignore. Pink is nice.

HorridHenryrule · 03/04/2017 14:24

I've never heard of such nonsense in my 33 years of life. What part of the country do you live in?

I am honestly interested no one has ever spoken to me like that.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 03/04/2017 14:26

How very annoying! If you want to paint her room pink, then go for it.
But just remember that when she does develop her own personality, she might really not like it!

My room was initially green with a brown "wood effect" wall - it had been my Dad's study, until my sibling was born, when I gave up the room next to my parents, and moved to the back of the house. I liked that colour.
But Mum decided it needed repapering (ok, it probably did!) and chose a hideous 70s pattern in pink, orange and mushroom on white. Oh how I hated it...

Nicotina · 03/04/2017 14:28

She should mind her own fucking business.

Original poster
Funnyonion17 · 03/04/2017 14:31

I'm up north, I've never encountered this in real life ever tbf, think they are from another planet tbh!

Yea the pink is definately for me. But she can have what colour she likes when she's older, just as my boys do. Maybe i should have kept it brick walls, not bought her any clothes or accepted the fluffy soft toys until she's old enough to decide if she likes them. Ha

Your all right though, i need to let it go. There's always one on these groups eh

OP posts:
tabbymog · 03/04/2017 14:49

I try to avoid these people.

Next time, say her room is painted magenta. Probably only someone who's worked in publishing, design or the art world would know that the printing process colour 'magenta', one of the four basic ingredients of process colour pigment mixes, is a bright, true pink. After many years in publishing the word 'magenta' still conjures up to me a colour more purple than pink, something darker than a dark-ish fuchsia, nothing like it really is.

These evangelists lose my sympathy so quickly, I wonder why that is...

nursebickypegs · 03/04/2017 14:50

I'm 32 weeks with a boy and I've painted his room blue!

stoopido · 03/04/2017 15:07

My daughters room is painted a ver light pink and my sons is painted blue. Their idea with no encouragement from me. However, my DD has now declared she doesn't like pink anymore! A phase she goes in and out of! I personally couldn't give two hoots what anyone thinks!

springflowers11 · 03/04/2017 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

VestalVirgin · 03/04/2017 15:29

According to the person ranting at me it's irresponsible to paint the room pink and i should base it on the babies personality instead.

Even a stopped clock is right once a day ...

You say your daughter can choose what colour her room should be painted when she's older, but if you have her room pink, her clothes pink and her toys pink, you do influence her. And while pink ideally should just be a colour, it is heavily connected to gender stereotypes.

I don't know whether you also bought her pink clothes, but you should think about your decision to paint the room pink, and why you made it.

(And at birth the child could still turn out to be a boy; mistakes happen with ultrasound. Would you keep the pink room, in that case? And if not, why not?)

Anditstartsagain · 03/04/2017 15:37

What a load of rubbish my babies wear what I choose and have the decor I choose until they are old enough to care ds1 had a blue room until he was 2 when he declared he wanted a green room now it's green.

My mums cousin once commented to me that ds1 didn't seem to like arts and crafts or dancing (he doesnt) and maybe I should avoid pushing only masculine toys and pass times on him (i don't he just gravitated toward building and climbing). I asked her if I should force him to do the things he doesn't want to just to avoid him being a 'typical' boy she said yes! My jaw nearly hit the floor.

Jenwen22 · 03/04/2017 15:49

You aren't being unreasonable in the slightest. Paint your childs room whatever you want and tell her to fuck off xx

Imanarrogantarseinleggings · 03/04/2017 15:56

Our DD nursery was powder blue, as was her pram. We didn't know what we were having but I just loved the colour! Really pissed my MIL off as she was convinced we knew that we were having a boy and not telling her, as why else would I choose blue! Made her look a right nitwit when our beautiful little girl arrived!! Also for what it's worth, with regards to the colour you choose influencing them, DD (now 3) has chosen to have a pink room anyway!!!

TheMerryWidow1 · 03/04/2017 16:03

tell her to mind her own business!

TheMerryWidow1 · 03/04/2017 16:03

tell her to mind her own business!

Orlantina · 03/04/2017 16:07

Maybe i should have kept it brick walls, not bought her any clothes or accepted the fluffy soft toys until she's old enough to decide if she likes them.

Society does tend to push the 'pink' colour for girls though and 'blue' for boys so her decision in the future to decide what colour she likes may be influenced by society and what society expects and associates with girls.

If you started a thread on AIBU to say that you were going to paint the nursery pink BECAUSE you were going to have a girl, you might get an interesting reaction.

No one should lecture you on what colour you choose. It doesn't sound like this person knew the sex of your baby so they should have kept their mouth shut. No one should offer unwanted advice anyway.

RogueBiscuit · 03/04/2017 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WobblyLegs5 · 03/04/2017 16:37

We have the stroppy child colour. It's a mix of tooth paste, rainbow handprints and soup thrown at the walls.

Op you are being totally unreasonable to paint it pink. Because you will have no hope of seeing it through sleep deprived eyes.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 03/04/2017 16:42

Ha. I had this with a transactivist of my acquaintance.
They picked a fight by asking me if I'd chosen to be told the sex (I had) and then aggressively asking why since "It doesn't tell you the gender"
Fucks sake

WobblyLegs5 · 03/04/2017 16:55

It is a shame to go for pink early tho. There so much else pink as it is for girls. It can be hard to fight the sex role stereotypes that are pushed, & something like wall colour is much easier to keep non pink as opposed say clothes when the nicest ones are often pink/purple.

We are v laid back about gender roles in our house, still once they hit (naice mc) school the girls play girls toys/pink is for girls kicks in straight away sadly

Swipe left for the next trending thread