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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

I've just been lectured at by a trans woman for painting my daughter's room pink

147 replies

Funnyonion17 · 03/04/2017 13:33

Just that. That's the 3rd time during my pregnancy I've been ranted at about gender and I've seriously had enough. Apparently by painting her room pink I'm assuming she's going to be a girl (she's deffo a girl unless the scan was wrong but hey ho). According to the person ranting at me it's irresponsible to paint the room pink and i should base it on the babies personality instead. She's 33 weeks in my womb, she has no personality! I just wanted a pretty space to store her clothes etc. Also after my scan i was ranted at over on the baby boards, apparently her sex is a girl her gender in unknown. I'm sick to death now of being made to feel I'm irresponsible for acknowledging my unborn child as a girl. It's madness. Sorry if my post is a bit disjointed, i have a bad case of sleep deprivation today.

OP posts:
Boofeckinghoo · 03/04/2017 13:53

Every one has an opinion the minute you announce your pregnancy. When they're born it will continue. You will hear all sorts of well meaning/ignorant opinions and you need to practice your smile and nod and ignore, ignore, ignore if you can.

"Irresponsible to paint the walls pink". Hilarious.
Paint the walls whatever colour you like. The colour is irrelevant.

I'd just block the dipstick and carry on
^^ this

Datun · 03/04/2017 13:54

This transwoman has decided that pink is definitely a female colour and therefore it is wrong to paint the room pink as she thinks you are reinforcing stereotypical gender roles (you don't say whether you are or not). However she is definitely falling for gender reinforcement, by deciding that colours are gender specific.

Semaphorically · 03/04/2017 13:56

Just respond with "gender essentialism is painfully sexist and narrow minded - how dare you try to limit the ambitions of my unborn child with ridiculous stereotypes".

ChocChocPorridge · 03/04/2017 13:57

Ridiculous, as you definitely know.

DS2 loves pink, I'm sure he'll want a pink room should we ever not be renting. He's still a little boy. DS1 had a rainbow room at our last house, and thought it was the greatest thing on earth.

Now they both have white. Because, the whole point is, that pink should just be a colour, yes, it's associated with girls right now, and ideally there'd be a bit of variety for girls, but it's a perfectly fine colour. I've had pink walls, and pink clothes on occasion and I'm as gender non-conforming as everyone else.

ILoveDolly · 03/04/2017 13:57

They will make their own preferences plain when they can talk, before that just do what you like. It's the only time you can and should totally impose your tastes on them! Enjoy it because she might be one of those little girls who like jeans and dinosaurs but you can't know yet....

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 03/04/2017 13:58

Well, the scan is never 100% for the s x of the baby, but i supppse that's not what this is about when they say how can you be sure it's a girl.

It's your baby and you can paint her room whatever you desire.

Datun · 03/04/2017 13:59

It was said in such a way that she will choose her own gender and i shouldnt make assumptions based on her female anatomy

Her female anatomy is determined by her sex, not her gender. If she is a girl, she will always be female.

Enjoy your new baby and ignore this person.

ImperialBlether · 03/04/2017 14:00

You are allowed to say 'sex' on here, Chardonnay!

Why don't you just block this person, OP?

Original poster
Funnyonion17 · 03/04/2017 14:00

That was pretty much her words Datun here's a copy and paste of how it started.

Don't you think it's a bit early to be forcing heteronormative gender roles on your child? Girls (children) are all different. It seems a giant leap to assume you know what sort of person she's going to be, based solely on the contents of her pants. I would fit the the room to her personality rather than the other way round.

Funny thing is, i wasn't aware me painting her room pink was me deciding babies entire persona!

OP posts:
Atenco · 03/04/2017 14:00

"YABU to paint her room pink"

Pink is a lovely colour, but my dgd was given so many, many pink clothes, I don't know what my dd would have done if the room had also been pink.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 03/04/2017 14:02

I knew that!

In fact I would much rather use sex than gender in this case.

Typing on a train, so it's all unintentionaly
Gone a bit twee.

MiaowTheCat · 03/04/2017 14:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Funnyonion17 · 03/04/2017 14:04

She's DC3 and tbh i should have ignored the comment, it just grated on me that she was assuming so much about me based on painting the babies room pink. I have two boys, both loved dolls, teasets etc growing up and both got them for birthdays and Christmas to play with as I'm definately no

OP posts:
Datun · 03/04/2017 14:05

Funnyonion17

Unless you are in a position where you are happy to start getting involved with this person about the trans-ideology, seriously just ignore them.

The ideology definitely underpins sexual stereotyping. She is attempting to subvert it, but is falling at the first hurdle by deciding that pink is for girls.

You might, if you are up for it, ask why on earth do you think I associate pink with girls?!

But, I predict, she will make your head ache. Paint away!

Original poster
Funnyonion17 · 03/04/2017 14:06

Oops submitted too early. Meant to add I'm definitely not set in my ways about gender roles etc. It's just colours and toys

OP posts:
Boofeckinghoo · 03/04/2017 14:06

Funny thing is, i wasn't aware me painting her room pink was me deciding babies entire persona

Did you post that back to them?

Datun · 03/04/2017 14:08

Today 14:04 MiaowTheCat

Well if you have to paint by personality - do F+B do a shade called "stroppy child?"

Surely, in amongst the magnolias and apple whites there has to be 'Posset'? And the autumnal shades need to start including 'Overfilled Nappy'.

Datun · 03/04/2017 14:10

OP just tell her you don't associate pink with girls and you are the surprise that she does.

Datun · 03/04/2017 14:10

*rather surprised

terrylene · 03/04/2017 14:12

No need to be defensive about your parenting (which is fine, and none of their business).

OP just tell her you don't associate pink with girls and you are the surprise that she does

This will do.

gettinfedduppathis · 03/04/2017 14:13

"Sod off and mind your own business" is a sentence that immediately springs to mind here...

comeagainforbigfudge · 03/04/2017 14:13

Pfft! You ARE BU painting the room pink. But only cos it's my least favourite colour. In reality, tell them to jog on and harass someone else who gives a shiney pink glittery shit.

I upset the midwives when DD was born as I insisted on a blue wooly hat. They kept calling her "he" and one actually changed it to a yellow one because She was upset that she kept calling her "he". I didn't care a jot.

Nor did I care when a random person asked "his" age, when I said twas actually a girl, they were so apologetic then blamed the colour of her pram for mixing it up. green, her pram is green Hmm

exWifebeginsat40 · 03/04/2017 14:14

this definitely happened exactly like you said. transgender people want to infiltrate your facebook group to shout at you about interior decorating. uh huh.

ignore, move on, get off the internet for a bit. christ.

Porpoiselife · 03/04/2017 14:15

Just ignore them. You can paint the room any colour you want and there is nothing wrong with pink.

My girls room is pink and my boys room is blue I have just realised. They picked the colours at the shop. That person would have a field day with me as I have clearly failed miserably as a parent letting them pick such stereotypical colours Shock

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