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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

I've just been lectured at by a trans woman for painting my daughter's room pink

147 replies

Funnyonion17 · 03/04/2017 13:33

Just that. That's the 3rd time during my pregnancy I've been ranted at about gender and I've seriously had enough. Apparently by painting her room pink I'm assuming she's going to be a girl (she's deffo a girl unless the scan was wrong but hey ho). According to the person ranting at me it's irresponsible to paint the room pink and i should base it on the babies personality instead. She's 33 weeks in my womb, she has no personality! I just wanted a pretty space to store her clothes etc. Also after my scan i was ranted at over on the baby boards, apparently her sex is a girl her gender in unknown. I'm sick to death now of being made to feel I'm irresponsible for acknowledging my unborn child as a girl. It's madness. Sorry if my post is a bit disjointed, i have a bad case of sleep deprivation today.

OP posts:

HorridHenryrule · 04/04/2017 11:32

I didn't know that babies gave two hoots about what colour their walls were or what toys they were given. All babies want is their mummies. Op ignore the loonies and do what you want for your baby. Enjoy her because it won't belong before she starts going to school and then leaving home.

NotCarylChurchill · 04/04/2017 11:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gooseygoosey12345 · 04/04/2017 11:38

Well that's hypocritical of her anyway! Pink is just a colour. Boys can like pink too!! Paint it whatever colour you like because it won't be long before you get "but I wanted batman/my little pony/ladybird print walls"!!

FerdinandsRevenge · 04/04/2017 11:48

Can a newborn even see pink? Babies give exactly 0 shits about the colours of their walls, you coloured it pink for you.

On a personal note, I'd try and keep thinks from getting too pink now though as it soon becomes a pink tide.

FerdinandsRevenge · 04/04/2017 11:50

Did they all "identify" as cis NotCarylChurchill or did you just misgender them?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 04/04/2017 13:58

Everytime someone calls me 'cis' its literal violence because its misgendering.

LittlePaintBox · 04/04/2017 14:01

Block anyone who annoys you. Life's too short.

RogueBiscuit · 04/04/2017 14:03

And roguebiscuit, you're a fucking disgusting, pathetic excuse for a person. I how to God your child never has an identity crisis.

If pointing out basic biology makes me a disgusting person I'm ok with that.

KindDogsTail · 04/04/2017 14:08

Yes, tell them pink was originally a boy's colour anyway.

It is none of their business. This colour is for you as much as anyone.
Enjoy the room and your little baby when she is born.

I absolutely loved pink as a very young child but my mother did everything she could to stop me from liking it or having anything in that colour, including banning me from wearing it, unless I was alone in my room.

So where did I get that yearning for pinkness from, I wonder?

RogueBiscuit · 04/04/2017 14:37

And roguebiscuit, you're a fucking disgusting, pathetic excuse for a person. I how to God your child never has an identity crisis.

Ss what I think is fucking disgusting is that you think you can abuse someone for refusing to go along with a lie. The person the op is talking about isn't even here.It's not my job to validate these men in their absence by calling them she and her. I don't have to lie to keep you or anyone else happy.

transwidow.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/10-things-youre-actually-saying-when-you-ignore-someones-gender-pronouns/

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 04/04/2017 16:59

I might have been prepared to give the time of day to "PinkStinks" if they had chosen another name. Why is it only pink that stinks?

I assume they object to the division of clothes, colours and toys on the basis of sex but they do seem fixated on "pinkification" rather than truly challenging stereotyping.

Neverknowing · 04/04/2017 17:05

So dumb. Pink is a colour it has no correlation to sex anyway? She may well be a tomboy and like blue doesn't mean shes a he.

ImBreakingBad · 04/04/2017 17:07

I actually can't believe the lunacy on this thread. Cant believe I'll be hurting my DD by deciding what colour her fucking room is. My DD = girl GENDER = girl. Sorry, but if you have balls and a penis you are a bloody male!! Same goes if you have a vagina. Holy mother of Christ.

DesertSky · 04/04/2017 17:12

Sometimes people get too carried away with the whole stereotypical gender thing. World has gone mad.

countrygirl55 · 04/04/2017 17:16

With, enough with the "transplaining" already. It's going to come out as a small collection of loosely wrapped cells. Why don't you put it in a white box with no visual stimulation at all so it can visualise it's own environment?

It's a fucking baby. I had daisy wallpaper and it didn't turn me into Charlie Dimmock or Alan Titwank!

countrygirl55 · 04/04/2017 17:16

Don't know where the "with" came from!

countrygirl55 · 04/04/2017 17:19

Sorry about the fucking baby thing. I am sure she will be a lovely little poppet.

Datun · 04/04/2017 18:50

Sorry about the fucking baby thing. I am sure she will be a lovely little poppet.

That made me laugh, it probably shouldn't, but it did.

None of this is about what the baby thinks. Everyone knows that. Babies don't give a monkeys.

This always just comes down to sex-role stereotyping. And it's not about whether you provide stereotypical girls things to girls, it's about whether you think that by doing that you are reinforcing the sex role stereotype.

If you are, feminists may disagree. If you're not then that's fine.

The colours and toys are immaterial if the underlying motivation is to provide children with the neutrality that means they don't automatically assume they only have the one role.

It's just that gendered toys/colours often indicate otherwise. It's not necessarily so, but it is often the case.

WobblyLegs5 · 04/04/2017 20:13

Pink stinks name is pressumabley because sex role stereotypes pushed on girls are far more damaging to them than they are to boys

Orlantina · 04/04/2017 20:38

Would the op had had the same reaction if a woman had questioned her room colour choice?

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 04/04/2017 21:17

Pink stinks name is pressumabley because sex role stereotypes pushed on girls are far more damaging to them than they are to boys

Stereotyping boys and girls is damaging. They could have focused on both. To me they just come across as the type of women one poster on here mentioned whose mother refused to allow any pink at all. As if anything associated with girls is bad so get rid of it rather than argue there should be no girls or boys things.

WobblyLegs5 · 04/04/2017 21:27

It is damaging to both, & as a kid who was brought up in a gender neutral only toys type of household I agree that's not healthy either, but sex role stereotypes are way way more damaging to females than males

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 04/04/2017 21:34

They are supposed to be campaigning about children's clothes and toys.

I find their name so off putting and judgemental. I always imagine it being run by the sort of women who won't allow their daughters a Barbie doll but are in ecstasy if their sons want to wear a tutus.

"Pink stinks" is just as stupid as only girls can wear pink.

Barcoo2 · 05/04/2017 01:07

You need to paint the walls B&G Tabula Rasa, op.

originalbiglymavis · 05/04/2017 07:50

I shall be wearing my pink converse to work today and I don't care.

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