We're getting 'Gender Neutral' toilets at work

[LucilleTwo]

Have name changed for this as it could be identifying from my previous posts where I work and of course I don't want to get outed/sacked.

So today we had an email to inform us all that next year the toilets in our building will all be changed to 'gender neutral'. I've heard lots about gender neutral toilets on mn but always thought it would never happen in my workplace, where despite being a very large multinational in financial services, we can't even seem to get computers to work correctly half the time. I don't see our company as being particularly modern or progressive but I guess there is quite a good equality vibe going on (mostly).

After the email, nobody seemed to be bothered other than me, although once I asked my female colleague next to me if she was OK with it, she wasn't either but didn't want to make a fuss. My boss came over and I asked him why this was happening, he said he wasn't sure but I'd just have to get over it. He also admitted he wouldn't be comfortable coming out of the toilet when there was a woman there at the same time.

Another female colleague then piped up that she doesn't have a problem with it, there's nothing that would worry her about washing her hands at the same time as a man and anyway she lives with male housemates and doesn't mind that. I didn't really know how to answer that without being rude so I just remained silent and seethed about it in the car afterwards.

I'd appreciate everyone elses view on this as I've been made to feel like I've got a problem for no reason. I know deep down I'll have to suck this up and it makes me feel frustrated that I don't have the power to change this. Tried to talk to DH about it but he didn't really get the issue and my DM said 'oh well, you can't say anything these days' and that was that! I feel like I have no one to talk to about this at all.

I assume the reason they used the women's was because previously we had two women's but only one men's. Now we have even numbers of men's and women's, plus the GN.

Considering that the only person who wants the GN is the special snowflake who is male, it would make more sense to make the men's GN; no woman would use it, so things would just stay as they used to be, with no problem for the men.

If we're no longer allowed to call ourselves women or men, can we have separate menstruator and non menstruator toilets? Isn't that the shiny new language we're all supposed to be using?

I suppose the answer is to have lockable cubicles with sink inside them. I can't see my workplace making that sort of investment. I see this more and more in restaurants and bars.

A local pub suddenly changed to gender neutral toilets with cubicles in one room and latrines in another. The first time I followed a man into the toilets and we both suddenly had a moment where we thought each was in the wrong toilet- in fact I had to go back and check the sign on the door!

Can't I just have a shewee and a quiet cupboard quack ? I'm too old for all this!

OP here with a sort of update

Thanks for all the replies

So all that's changed so far is that the ladies toilets now have a sign inside with a reminder to keep the facilities tidy. There's also a new addition of a sanitiser dispenser in each cubicle with a sign saying they can be used to clean the seats before use. To me, this suggests that they will not be changing the cubicles into fully enclosed with a sink as I'd hoped. To be honest the current facilities are so small I can't see how they change them sufficiently without demolishing the entire set up. The cubicles are so small you have to step in and lean out of the way to be able to close the door behind you. I don't think they are going to do any major work to them because they've made these subtle changes with the seat cleaner and signs. Plus they're not renknowned for pushing the boat out when it comes to spending money on office facilities...

We do have one unisex ('gender neutral', I mean) disabled toilet but the one closest to me is accessed through a door with the ladies toilets symbol on, so there's a main door with a little corridor and 2 doors off here (1 disabled and then 1 to the 3 ladies cubicles). Therefore no men use it currently because it's pretty much in the ladies toilets.

We do have a union but I've already been told the decision is a political one so I think it would be fruitless to try to get them on side with this. I'm sure I am at risk of being labelled a 'terf' too by the 2 very 'right-on' colleagues I work with (one of whom is male, loves using the term cis and is the WOMEN'S FORUM REPRESENTATIVE. Seriously, I shudder.)

If it goes the way I think it's going, there will be a lot of women who are too uncomfortable to use the facilities and waiting until lunchtime to use the toilets in the various shops nearby.

We have one loo on each floor shared by male and females (and presumably any other genders passing by). Not a problem at all but I think that is different to a room full of loo cubicles sand basins. That could seem weird as you would have an audience if you wanted to do anything other than just wash your hands.

Lucille is it just the ladies toilets that have been changed, or the men's too?

Perhaps some female colleague would be brave and leave pads or tampons on the floor?

I am often amazed by the level of disgust and repulsion such items seem to be able to cause. Sometimes even unused ones!

I know many women are also embarrassed about their periods, but if you have a colleague who isn't ... this might be your secret weapon.

Considering that the toilets are so tiny, I suppose they won't be able to add bins to the previously men's toilets - a perfect excuse to throw tampons in the toilet until it gets clogged.

Organize in groups, so if someone asks who used the clogged toilet last, you can give each other alibis.

Vestal - I do find it frustrating that it is the women who have been most adversely affected by the (very vocal) demands of one male - especially since he is "gender queer/fluid" - not someone who is actually having surgery. I feel like I can't really complain because there are still other separate facilities (albeit reduced) for men and women. And although in some ways I'd prefer that the men's was made GN, I think that would also be unfair on the men who are keen to have separate sex facilities (even though, in practice, women generally won't use them - this may be different for visitors to the building who aren't aware of the set up).

And although in some ways I'd prefer that the men's was made GN, I think that would also be unfair on the men who are keen to have separate sex facilities (even though, in practice, women generally won't use them - this may be different for visitors to the building who aren't aware of the set up).

Hm, fair enough. Visitors won't know that the only reason there's a "gender neutral" loo is because a male wanted it.

Of course, the obviously sensible solution would be to declare that the toilets are to do with biological sex, change the signs to XX and XY and say that those whose chromosome combination, according to phenotype, can be assumed to be XY, have to use the XY toilets regardless of gender identity.

That's already to much of an effort to make for a speshul snowflake, but I admit that I don't like the "women wear dresses" stereotyping on loo signs, so that would be at least one real benefit from that.

Unless an MtT joins the workplace and will just walk into the women's loo because, after all, it is officially unisex

In that case it doesn't matter if they're unisex or not. There is apparently nothing that can be done about them using the women's. I posted about this a couple of months ago when it happened in my workplace. Despite self identification not even being law, all the advice is that they must be allowed to use the facilities of their 'identified gender'. The one at my work makes free with the women's facilities and quite clearly pisses standing up. But it's all ok because they are a woman just like me.

Shared wc facilities in the work place. What an horrific thought. Its bad enough for men using a urinal. The etiquette being you always use the one furthestvaway from somebody already using one. Im not sure how this will work in practice as most men will use the sinks for a wee in work as well. It would be pretty awkward having a slash in the sink and your female boss comes in to wash her hands.. you mightent be able to go or she might be looking at your manhood thing inappropriate thoughts. No its all too much. Seperate toilets for men and women please.

OP - if those 'mixed sex' toilets (the ones being advertised as gender neutral) don't have floor to ceiling walls around each toilet space, then it is breaking HSE regulations.

www.hse.gov.uk/contact/faqs/toilets.htm

Workplace (Health, Safety and Welfare) Regulations 1992. Regulation 20. Para 2c.