We're getting 'Gender Neutral' toilets at work

[LucilleTwo]

Have name changed for this as it could be identifying from my previous posts where I work and of course I don't want to get outed/sacked.

So today we had an email to inform us all that next year the toilets in our building will all be changed to 'gender neutral'. I've heard lots about gender neutral toilets on mn but always thought it would never happen in my workplace, where despite being a very large multinational in financial services, we can't even seem to get computers to work correctly half the time. I don't see our company as being particularly modern or progressive but I guess there is quite a good equality vibe going on (mostly).

After the email, nobody seemed to be bothered other than me, although once I asked my female colleague next to me if she was OK with it, she wasn't either but didn't want to make a fuss. My boss came over and I asked him why this was happening, he said he wasn't sure but I'd just have to get over it. He also admitted he wouldn't be comfortable coming out of the toilet when there was a woman there at the same time.

Another female colleague then piped up that she doesn't have a problem with it, there's nothing that would worry her about washing her hands at the same time as a man and anyway she lives with male housemates and doesn't mind that. I didn't really know how to answer that without being rude so I just remained silent and seethed about it in the car afterwards.

I'd appreciate everyone elses view on this as I've been made to feel like I've got a problem for no reason. I know deep down I'll have to suck this up and it makes me feel frustrated that I don't have the power to change this. Tried to talk to DH about it but he didn't really get the issue and my DM said 'oh well, you can't say anything these days' and that was that! I feel like I have no one to talk to about this at all.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest.
More so in a work setting where you'll roughly know who's in the loos. Even more if your work checks convictions etc, I know it's not bullet proof but less chance of camera wielding people watching you change your pad or crap.

I dare say all of these men at least grew up around 1 female, mother, granny or wife, all of them will have had sanitary products that open like a loud crisp packet and all of them will more than likely have had d&v so there's a high chance they won't care... possibly might have their own embarrassing medical conditions.

And in all my years of retail as a young one the women's toilets are VILE! Yep some men pee like fire hydrants but they don't leave pads on the floor, flush bloody/shitty knickers and block the loos or vomit from one end to the other with morning sickness and big shitty splats too. Everyone's poo smells, if your worried someone smells yours look up poopuri, use it in public if I need to.
Haven't we all had to run into the gents if the ladies is full. Rather a loo that a puddle.

Yep some men pee like fire hydrants but they don't leave pads on the floor, flush bloody/shitty knickers and block the loos or vomit from one end to the other with morning sickness and big shitty splats too.
Erm I think most of us use women's public toilets regularly, I have never seem what you describe. I hear this about how disgusting ladies loos are and it just doesn't seem based in reality.
Gents however often stink from a distance away and in gender neutral toilets I've used they have been splatted/dripped on.

And what does happen when you need to get changed in the loo? That's pretty common

What difference does it make ? If I were changing clothes in the loo I'd do it in the cubicle.

They don't look like that for long since someone tends to jump down your throat like you did it...
Didn't help we were near a fast food chain so had a lot of "traffic".
There was an article on two teen girls putting superglue on a loo seat n a small girl getting stuck.

Gents smell is a cleaning issue imo, if you've got a female cleaner in a busy place it's hard to close off for five, with either gender, and spray it over.

It is usually quite obvious from the rustling when a woman is changing her sanitary protection in a neighbouring cubicle

Is it? That's news to me. And even if it were so what?

I am a woman and have periods and am not ashamed of them. I expect that others using the same toilet as me get that.

I really don't get the fuss about periods.

I've seen threads on here complaining that women are made to feel ashamed or embarrassed about periods but making a big deal of the fact a man in the next cubicle might hear you unwrapping a tampon and might know (or care) what it is hardly doing anything to help.

I don't really understand the fuss about gender neutral toilets. We've had them at work for years and they are fully enclosed cubicles with basins and free tampons/towels in a box. No one has a problem with it.

Lass my ten year old has started her periods and is struggling to manage them. I can't always be there and she needs sex segregated toilets. Is that okay?

I agree with Devi I have had no experience of which you've stated Nut and I work in a very large organisation.

I've never come across them until a night out this week when someone said oh the toilets are unisex/shared
Went later on and they've done it because there just isn't enough room for two lots. It's a restaurant, the toilets were complete walls top to bottom and then sinks along a wall, offset so you weren't in full view but neither was it blocked off (no door to the toilet area)
It was a pretty clever design and because the sinks were open to the bar (as such!) it felt safe and I liked the full walls

The few times I had been forced to use gender neutral toilets I have found them to be disgusting, pee splattered and messy. I hate, hate, hate, having to touch the seat (they always leave it up). In fact, I have learned to hold on on planes and I refuse to go to a lovely little bar near where I live for more than one drink because they only have gender neutral toilets. I don't feel comfortable or safe in them. Many women feel uncomfortable re menstrual issues as well and just because some don't does not mean the other women are unreasonable. Some women of some nationalities / faiths have big problems sharing such intimate spaces with men as well. Finally, there is the issue of make-up. I don't wear it, but it's expected in corporate culture, and hoisting tights, etc. in front of the mirrors. I'd be mortified if my workplace instituted gender neutral toilets. I'm lucky it is in a city, though, so I'd simply duck to the library around the corner or to another sex-specific toilet if I had to. Men and women have different anatomies, habits and needs and toilets should reflect these.

OP - why is this change being made in your workplace? Is it because someone in HR was bored or had a brain fart, or is it to appease a minority interest?

Lass my ten year old has started her periods and is struggling to manage them. I can't always be there and she needs sex segregated toilets. Is that okay?

This thread is about work toilets. Aside from that I don't think all this " oh my goodness , someone might hear me unwrapping a sanitary towel" would be in the least bit helpful to your daughter.

This thread is about changing toilets from sex segregated to not sex segregated and my daughter has some skin in the game, as do I.

There was a really horrible case in the papers recently where a woman found out that her male colleagues had been tracking her menstrual cycle and commenting and joking about it to each other and making misogynistic remarks about her abilities and competencies based on it (iirc). While this is hopefully a rare case I doubt it is unique (I've never heard of a similar case being reported but I don't doubt this hasn't happened to good few other women). It also wasn't to do with unisex toilets - I think they worked it out without sharing toilet facilities but the idea that all men are going to just not care and be mature and respectful is in my opinion naive. There are plenty of men who would delight in belittling a woman or announcing that she's not being rational as it's "that time of the month". The world is filled with narcissists, bullies and abusers. Sadly research indicates that more of them and for this reason I fully understand why women do not want to share facilities with men. I am self employed and don't have to share with anyone thankfully but I'm not going to write off other women's concerns.

*that more of them are men.

they are fully enclosed cubicles with basins and free tampons/towels in a box. No one has a problem with it.

No-one has a problem with that on this thread - we are talking about shared facilities.

The getting changed point is a good one - we often have women getting changed and putting make up in the ladies. A tiny cubicle with a tampon bin can be used but not ideal. We go to events in the evening and people don't want to drag their expensive gowns into a tiny cubicle.

Can somebody explain to me the benefits of unisex facilities? If some people don't mind them and others object to them then surely the compromise is remaining sex-segregated? It costs money and causes problems to change to unisex so I am baffled by doing this in an existing building. In a new build with separate unisex toilets - I've no problem.

My work has two mens loos per floor and twp ladies.

Often I see men waiting when there's a ladies loo available, or vice versa.

If there were just "four loos" there would be less waiting.

It's more efficient.

I agree that the best way for a young person going through puberty to feel less awkward about periods would be for every adult around them to be very matter-of-fact and say it's no big deal, we all know everyone poops, this is just another thing that happens rather than freaking out about someone hearing them unwrap a pad.

If you are scared of spiders, when your toddler finds a spider you try to pretend to be brave so they don't learn your fear.

Okay Trills, so women have nothing to fear from men and are just being hysterical, we need to get over it. Right oh.

I would still like to keep sex segregated toilets and so would my daughter and my mother, thank you.

The best way for a young girl going through puberty is to have sex segregated facilities where they feel safe and secure.

I agree that the best way for a young person going through puberty to feel less awkward about periods would be for every adult around them to be very matter-of-fact and say it's no big deal, we all know everyone poops, this is just another thing that happens rather than freaking out about someone hearing them unwrap a pad

Got to agree with this, I would love it if Britain could be a bit less up tight about completely normal bodily functions.

There was shocking bullying in the girls toliets at the high school I went to. If only sex segragation did make young girls feel safe.

While "hysterical" is more apt in the context of a period than any other time, it's not a word that I used.

Reading every opposing viewpoint as an attack is not a helpful way to have a discussion.

Why do most men in uk pee standing up? Moan other countries it's discouraged and no urinals etc. Boys are taught to pee sitting down so by the time they are adults most still do. Both children and Dh sit here, means no pissy bathroom at home. At my children's school all boys are also told to sit to pee so the toilets stay cleaner and less likely children miss aim