Feminisim and small penis jokes

[TomInAustin]

I just read an amazing article about how many small penis jokes feminists tell. That seems to fly in the face of anti-body-shaming. I would love to discuss.

I am a man cursed with the problem, i am a feminist and work with an organization that helps women entrepreneurs. I am curious if you know how painful it is for a man like me to hear?

Grabs

Lets say your figures are correct (some are debatable)...

If men are 75% of murder victims, and 80% of those female victims are murdered by someone they know, is it rational for women to feel more scared of murder in public than men?

Would you say the stats say, that having someone you know walk you to your car is more scary than walking by yourself?

Women feeling scared in public is not rational, and doesn't help promote female empowerment!

Did I say anything about being scared in public?

Women live with the possibility of rape, assault or murder every single day, and what's worse is we all live with the knowledge that it's our own loved ones who pose the most risk.

I'm as sure as I can be that Dh would never hurt me. But he is twice my size and strength so if he ever did I'd stand no chance. Women are socialised to defer to men because we are at real risk of harm from them.

So I really can't bring myself to give the tiniest of fucks about men's wounded feels around their penises.

Eh?

Being scared in public is rarely about being scared of murder by a stranger. Street harassment, being following, being groped, having bag or purse snatched, being assaulted... all on the list.

HTH

'Come back when you face the real possibility every day of your life of being raped or murdered and we'll talk about your bruised feelings then.'

You told a man to 'come back' when he had the same possibility of being murdered, which of course we just highlighted he has the far greater possibility of being murdered.

See now you being afraid of men because they are biologically stronger, menas you have chosen to fear men. There are a ton of things you can do to counter that biological difference, and could quite easily negate the biological difference if you had to if your DH ever did come to harm you.

Fear keeps us all in shackles, release the fear and empower yourself to live as a mans equal, once someone knows you don't fear them, they are far less likely to consider you weaker than them.

Ya know what OP - I haven't read the full thread only your first post - I've been guilty of this without even thinking of it as body shaming. It was just something I grew up with and took on board without questioning it, always in good humour of course. Only I now see it's not good humour at all, and I'd feel distain for men laughing about women's small breasts being a reason they're too full of themselves. Now I see it as body shaming I won't do it anymore. It's amazing how we can ignorantly walk around half asleep, without even noticing these things. Anyway, the important thing is that I will use my humour in a different way now.

If men are 75% of murder victims, and 80% of those female victims are murdered by someone they know, is it rational for women to feel more scared of murder in public than men?

Massive pointless derail.

Ps saying women aren't rational isn't the act of a feminist

A derail?

Responding to someone saying men are less likely to be murdered, with proof that they are more likely is a derail?

Who said women aren't rational, thats dishonest! I said fearing something that isn't statistically high is not rational, whether your a woman or man.

Calling a feminist who holds a slightly different view than you on how to combat male violence and street harrassment isn't feminist, so there you are, neither of us are feminists... your logic isn't sound.

Are you seriously saying that if we all toughen up and get strong, there'd be no need for feminism?

Jesus fucking wept.

Yet again I'm reading an article by a transwoman bleating on about an issue affecting men and tasking women with sorting it out.

Male violence is a huge problem. Men having the size of their junk mocked really really isn't.

Stopped reading the link after "women can have penises too you know". It's tosh.
I've never heard a RL woman tell a dick-size joke. The only quip I've heard was from a female colleague. I have a large lunch box (no really) and she observed "Large lunch box there. Over-compensating are we, Pan"? Which I'd anticipated and it was fuuuny.
Blokes like to mock on dick size, not women. Works well when the owner of a large-bonnet car behaves like a dick. "Yep, dick size."

Grabs

When did I say that? However do you believe the end goal for women is not to be as tough, and feel as less scared as men?

Or are you happy watching over your shoulder every time DH sneezes?

The end game of feminism has to be the end of feminism, don't you think? Because when feminism is finally irrelevant the world will be a utopian place to live in as a woman.

You don't lift up scared women by reinforcing their fears that everyone is a murdering rapist just waiting to jump on you, you lift up women by empowering them to be mens equals. Please take a moment and disect what is wrong with this statement.

You don't lift up scared women by reinforcing their fears that everyone is a murdering rapist just waiting to jump on you, you lift up women by empowering them to be mens equals. Please take a moment and disect what is wrong with this statement.

You also don't empower women by pretending that men aren't more likely to rape that murder than women. I believe the phrase is 'Knowledge is power' not 'sticking fingers in your ears and saying ALALALLAAL is power' or 'don't worry, most men are fine is power' or 'just because he's a foot taller and 2 stone heavier, you are equally tough is power'

When did I say men don't rape?

Not sure why you are putting into quote marks that stuff, you know I said none of that.

Knowledge is power, you are 100% correct, so realising the real statistics of rape, and murder will highlight how unlikely you are to encounter it.

As a woman you are 5 times more likely to be killed in a road traffic accident than by the hands of a man. Where are all the killallcars hashtags?

My point, although ludicrously made, is that the UK is not a hate mongering women raping woman murdering society, it is a beautifull place to live that still has a lot of problems within the system, problems women face!

I don't know a single woman who has never been raped, abused or sexually assaulted. Not a single one.

It's hardly rare ffs.

Ok fine pizan
Here's some stats for you
www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/compendium/focusonviolentcrimeandsexualoffences/yearendingmarch2015/chapter2homicide

Women are:
More likely to be murdered by a current or ex partner, family member or "emotional rival" (44% women vs 6% men)
More likely to be murdered by strangulation or asphyxiation

Men are:
More likely to be drunk or on drugs (44% of men vs 14% women)
More likely to be killed by hitting/kicking (of people killed by hitting/kicking, 87% were men and 13% women)

90% of suspects were male, 9% female and 1% corporate manslaughter.

82% of women are killed in or around a house, 8% are killed on the street. 49% of men are killed in or around a house, 25% killed on the street.

So yes you are correct, on a purely rational basis by the stats men should be more worried about being murdered by a stranger. They should avoid drinking and getting into fights.
By the same token, women should avoid having a man in their house. They should also avoid relationships with men.

Why do you think society insists on telling women they can avoid rape and murder by staying at home and avoiding strangers when that's patently not the case?

Why do you think we don't teachieve men to avoid being out drunk late when this is a risk for their murder?

Neither sex is behaving rationally.

Piz

I'm guessing that there is a massive amount off unreporting going on here too. Women don't tend to read statistics, they tend to go on their own life experience.

Yes cos it's always the meany weany feminists that are so horrible to men and make their lives so bad.

I don't know, how about writing to the makers and distributors of pornography and open a dialogue with them about their portrayal of the penis and how it negatively affects men's self esteem and psycho-sexual selves? Cos I bet that has a far broader impact than the odd small dick joke. No?

Funny that. Btw, I don't think jokes about people's bodies are funny and took a stand about the statue of Trump naked, which was not well received, but nevertheless I kind of think they are the tip of the iceberg.

^Women live with the possibility of rape, assault or murder every single day, and what's worse is we all live with the knowledge that it's our own loved ones who pose the most risk.

I'm as sure as I can be that Dh would never hurt me.^

I've said this before but, hey ho - you CHOSE to live with a man, if you are fearful of rape you can easily reduce your risk BY NOT ENGAGING IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN. I honestly do not understand why people with your mindset would even consider a romantic relationship with a man. And as for the idea the men do nothing to stop male violence, this is beyond laughable.

Neither sex is behaving rationally.

So - here we have it. It is irrational for women to have relationships with men, so don't bother, no one is making you FFS.

But he is twice my size and strength so if he ever did I'd stand no chance.

Under what conditions exactly would you have no fear of men, given this ?

I don't fear Dh because I know he would never hurt me. I feared my exH as he did.

I will be less fearful of men when we no longer live in a culture that largely glorifies rape and violence. When men are raised to respect women's bodily autonomy, where rape and dv is so harshly punished that men don't risk it, when teenage boys aren't exposed to violent pornography, when men can't purchase sex.

NRTFT

Read part of that article. I can honestly hand on heart say that I've only ever heard ONE small-penis joke, and it came from the mouth of a pig of a man. Who was also always the one to utter patriarchal remarks such as "fight like a girl" "man up" "grow some balls" "you can't rape your wife" and wore a tee-shirt that said "Don't wrap it and tap it. Tape it and rape it". Like the misogynistic cockwomble that he was.

But hey, fuck it, let's blame the feminists

I honestly do not understand why people with your mindset would even consider a romantic relationship with a man

Sexually attracted to men. Want a relationship and children.
All I was trying to illustrate was that you can't use statistics to explain why people do as they do.
Anyway that's it now for me. Thread is derailed and was stupid in the first place

Thread is derailed and was stupid in the first place

Agreed!

We have relationships with men for exactly the same reason that we use cars (to use an example from Pizan) - because whilst they are dangerous, we like them, and find our lives are enriched by having a car/associating with men. Because just as cars aren't automatic death machines, men aren't automatic rapists. ie. the risk is low, and the rewards are high.

Doesn't mean that I stride across the road without looking, just as I don't go home with a man I barely know. Sure, a lot of the time I could do either and not come to any harm, but the risk vs. reward isn't worth it in that case.

Really - is it so hard to understand that we know something is dangerous, but still do it? People ski, ride motorbikes, get pregnant - all dangerous activities that we make informed choices to do, and just like I wouldn't shoot down a strange road at 80mph, I am wary of strange men.