Cat calling

[Cocklodger]

I'm sure this one has been done to death, I don't frequent the board often tbh.
now I hate catcalling. I'm sure every woman has or will experience it. Its not pleasant. It makes me angry and sometimes it scares me,
But today I've seen a post on FB (with someone of a similar view point to me) being ripped into, because
''Its just a compliment''
she's a ''fun sucker''
''I bet she would've REALLY just asked for his number''... Those comments came from women.
Now I, being me decided to defend this person and found the same comments hurled at me. I've now just left it because I've gotten to the point where I can no longer even try to come up with a coherent argument. I have also received personal insults(about my appearance and the fact I'm obviously a bit fat since I was recently pregnant baby under 2wks old)
i just didn't realize how acceptable it was, I genuinely thought it was wildly noted as pretty fucking annoying (If I'm being generous)
I don't even know what to say.
Wtf is wrong with people?
Can someone please reassure me that I'm not wrong? I know I sound bloody pathetic but for some reason finding out how acceptable it is has actually quite scared and shaken me a lot....

I think you will find i called your posts rude

I think its your way of writing

It may well be, i'm pretty entitled and passionate about this subject, I get frustrated very easily by people refusing to listen or acknowledge valid points, especially when I react openly and honestly about valid points made by others.

Pizanfan

Keep educating the men. It can only help.

What exactly are you asking from us?

I asked you a question on the other thread but you didnt get a chance to answer

Is it pizan after christine de pizan

I'm not asking anything, i'm here to discuss different things, gain some insight into other things maybe, and on occasion challenge some feminist harming attitudes.

When you teach your students, if you feel they don't understand you, do you berate them and tell them how amazing you are and how dim they are? Or do you think that perhaps you haven't explained yourself as well as you think you have, and think about how you can reframe and rephrase your points?

People have listened to your opinions and assertions, responded to you, and then simply not agreed with you. You seem to think that's the same as not understanding you.

So start again. What are feminist harming issues we can help with ?

Rufus

Apologies, I didn't see that question. It is yes, however I'm not an avid enthusiast, I was staring at a City of Ladies peice of work while searching for a name.

I didn't think anyone would really notice tbh.

I didn't think anyone would really notice tbh.

Unbelievable that the person who dismissed my experiences because I'm apparently lacking in education due to my age complains about being called "names". I told you about the street harassment my friends and I have had since we were about 14, in school uniform, out, from all kinds of men and you dismissed me. I don't think you, defending men and bringing up prison violence to dismiss women's experiences, should be complaining about anything on this thread.

Speak

When I did teach, which I don't anymore, there was no need to get frustrated with students who would have open minds, infact only once was I left speechless in a classroom setting, and it was by a self styled feminist uniersity student who refused to believe in fibre types, as it was racist to think there was a difference in races anatomy.

However this setting isn't a classroom, and I didn't come here to teach, I came here to discuss, however infantilisation and victimisation seems to have bred a pack mentality on MN, in which anyone who disagrees is clearly evil, thats pretty lacking in my opinion.

First instance: aged 14, in school uniform, walking from the Underground station nearest my school to school (5 minute walk in busy area), man in a suit (on his own) taps me on the shoulder and tells me I'm a "good looking girl" who will "tempt many boys".

Most recent instance: in home clothes, walking to my friend's house, two young men shout at me that I am a "buff ting". I totally ignore them as it's a quiet road, getting dark and I do not wish to have this interaction. I get told "you're nothing special you fucking up yourself bitch".

That's the first and last, the ones in between are too many to remember or list. I am sure that many boys are suffering this constantly at the hands of women and girls.

Such a shame. I thought that you'd be able to stop insulting us all, but apparently not.

Sorry iamamy

Thanks for answering my question pizan

I did think you might have missed it, it was a fast moving thread

IAMAMY

I've tried to rely on your age to sheild you from my views directed at you, because you are in a very vulnerable state of your development.

You misdirect my words of 'dismissing experiences' when I did no such thing, you claim I called you uneducated when I did no such thing, what I did was take responsibility for what I say in front of a minor more seriously than most, your are young, you havn't had a chance to study critically, and you have a very limited view of the world in it's entirity. Theres no insult there because every 16 yr old is in the same position.

What you claim happened to you is bad, but when did I mention mans side of the argument? When did I say men weren't the problem? When did I dismiss womens experiences?

Statistically speaking Amy, that's about right, although a lot of women report that their first incidence of being cat called was slightly younger. And your experience of the interaction changing when you didn't respond in a way that shored up their fragile masculinity is also pretty normal.

If men weren't doing it in order to belittle and intimidate women, then that change in discourse wouldn't be present.

"What you claim happen to you" lol. Seriously. If you think that's worthy of being "claimed" you can't have talked to many girls.

Xenophile definitely, I've got some friends who had cat calling in their school uniforms by Year 8 even. I've got used to the interaction changing but I don't really know what to do about it, as I don't feel confident enough to answer back and I certainly don't want to smile or pretend I enjoy it. It's just awful. When I was in New York this summer with a couple of friends we got followed for about 5 minutes by a group of men shouting things at us when we were clearly intimidated, I think that added to their enjoyment. As you say, if it was actually intended as a compliment, none of this would ever happen. But it's about power and intimidation.

thought that you'd be able to stop insulting us all, but apparently not

STOP PLAYING A VICTIM!!!

IAMAMY

I get your experiences are bad, and it's heinous in those alleged situations, but do you really think calling all men sexist is the answer? I lived in the middle east previously, and wasn't happy with the subjegation there, trust me you do not want to be caught without the proper atire, especially as a british woman. Do you believe all muslims are sexist and racist?

Rufus

Are you a fan?

Thank you Rufus

I have no idea what you're on about Pizan, I don't recall once calling all men sexist.

Also "alleged situations" is really quite rude.

Wtf? Why are you shouting?

I havn't once taken mens side, and am actively trying to solve the problem, so why is it I have the wrong answer to the problem?

Who has the answer? please enlighten me.