13 year old dd accused me of not being a feminist

[HenryIX]

Dd went to a party last night. She came downstairs dressed in tiny cut off shorts. She has worn these often, with thick tights underneath. Last night she did not have the tights on.
It was cold last night, but also, she was dressed like a 17 year old, not a just turned 13 year old.
My first words, without thinking were ' You aren't going out dressed like that!'

So it got me thinking, I do believe a woman should be able to dress as she wants. But she is not a woman, she is a child.
Where do I draw the line, what age should I let her choose how to dress?
And more importantly, what do I say to her when she wakes up today and is grumpy that I didn't let her wear what she wanted?

It bothers me that women look at a 13 year old girl in shorts and rather than thinking 'ooh she'll be cold!' they think sex. Is that all women's bodies are about? Even when they're not even women yet?

Sparrow have you even seen some of the photos 13/14/15 year old girls put of themselves on Instagram and Facebook? I police the photos my dd puts on there of herself but some of the pics of girls in her year are shocking and way to sexualised. No one should be looking at a young teen and thinking "sex" but social media etc gives them the world the chance to broadcast themselves in that way. It's very worrying.

So what if they broadcast themselves in that way? What effect does that have?

Would you encourage her to walk down the street waving ten grand in cash around and then call it victim blaming when it got stolen?

There are bad people out there and you have to live in the world you are presented with. Not the one you aspire it to be.

Do you think its fine for 13yr old to act like 18yr old pouting pulling down vest tops to create clevage for facebook (not saying your dd does any of that op)

Do you think shorts cause rape Testimonials?

That should Tetrimino

Tetrimino, obviously you can put ten grand in a bank/safe. Where can a girl put her vagina to keep it safe? Should she just stay at home?

Sparrow I think children emulate adult role models. I think adults engage in sexual behaviour because that is one of the things that make us adults. I think we should discourage young girls from growing up too quickly, be that wearing adult clothes, engaging in sexual behaviours too early or whatever it is they are too young for. I think children should be children and wearing a pair of tights with short shorts is a reasonable request for a mother.

Wearing shorts is not sexual behaviour.

Sparrow she is not talking about shorts you are continuing to be obtuse. She is talking about short shorts. They are adult clothing.

Wearing teeny tiny shorts to a party at 13 ican sexualised behaviour her mother thought they were inappropriate and other posters are understanding what mum is on about.

Should boys also be prevented from wearing adult clothing?

Can be*

Yes sparrow they probably would not fit.

The important thing here is that she is a child and girls of this age are blissfully unaware of how attractive they are and the effect of dressing in this way for a party - it sends out a message which they may not understand or intend. I know all the feminists will now jump on me and say that women should be able to wear what they like without being judged - but this is a child and still in need of the protection of the adults around her.

I was lucky that when my DDs were teenage the fashion was for the hippy long skirts!

What message does it send Mishaps?

It sounds like the DDs clothes did fit her 2cents, so there was no problem surely?

Sparrow another question?????

Yes, can you answer it?

sparrowhawk you are not responding to our questions you just seem to be saying stock phrases

No Sparrow I have offered a perspective. You keep asking vague questions and offering no substantive arguments. Back over to you.

I responded to Tetrimino's question. I haven't been asked any other questions.

You do not have to answer a question. You can give your perspective on the OP.

I already did. I said it bothers me that women look at the body of a 13 year old and see a sexual object that provokes rape.

Thing is Sparrow...it's a hard one to answer isn't it. Like how preschoolers often go through a phase of taking all their clothes off - it's not sexual, they're 4, but at the same time, you don't show your vagina / arse / penis in public. I never had to deal with that phase luckily (yet!) but a friend of mine did and really struggled with why don't you take your pants off in public...but, you don't. We all know, you just don't.

A 13 year old is still a child and should be following the no bum on display in public rule as a 4 year old should, IMO.