DH is 'glad' of verdict

[HexBramble]

I'm sickened tbh.
He announced this morning that he is happy and glad that justice has been served and will not listen to reason.
We have 3 daughters.

Thinking of you, hex

I'm sorry hex his attitude doesn't reflect badly on you if that makes sense

Hope your ok

I'm so sorry op, I would be heartbroken if my dp felt like that. This case has really got to me, I've never been a victim myself but we have 2 dd's and the thought of them, or even myself for that matter ending up in a situation like this in the future and having to go through what the victim in the CE case has been through over the past 5 years absolutely fills me with dread. The way she has been treated both by the uk 'justice' system and the general public has been sickening. I am so glad my dp feels the same. He hasn't followed the case as closely as I have but has been willing to listen to my point of view.

I am not sure I would be able to stay in a relationship with him if he held the views your H does. I hope you're okay

Another one wishing you the best and hoping you are OK Hex .

I think this thread is way out of proportion.

That's nice for you.

People talking like she just be considering leaving her husband or something lol. He is allowed to have an opinion - its not like saying that he supports rapists.

Just a rapist?

He just doesnt think he is guilty! Except by CE's own testimony, he IS guilty, and was found guilty, but our legal system is terrible.

Also i think a lot of guys while not ever condoning rape might have less sympathy for a woman who is just sleeping around as a matter odlf routine...

That says terrible things about your lot of guys

even after the 'rape' and getting blind drunk to the point that she cant remember stuff.

You spelled it wrong. Sorry to be pedantic but it's not spelled "blind drunk" it's spelled "drugged"

Yes it is still not acceptable for a guy to take advantage ever... But i think most men if they are honest will not feel as much sympathy if a woman behaves like that

Like what?

Definitely nothing like they would to a woman who gets attacked walking home or something which is a wholeee different level.

Ah, rape myths 101 is that way-->

What about men who sleep around zefcal? Are they less likely to get sympathy if raped? Are they more likely to be thought of as rapists perhaps? Or will there be no judgement on their sexual promiscuity coz yer know men will be men and all?

And yes how exactly did this woman behave?

Was she promiscuous (as if that is something bad anyway)? CE only found 2 other partners. Does 3 partners constitute promiscuity these days?

What about the men being so casual about sex? CE didn't even bother to find out her name or tell her his name. Doesn't that warrant some judgement?

And why is it that women need to be more careful, exactly?

Maybe most men do think like Hen's husband. If they do then maybe they are fit to be on the streets or around women. If they couldn't stop themselves from shoving their dick into a semi-coscious woman or see nothing wrong in that then maybe they'd be doing womankind a favour by staying the fuck away.

not fit

Can we unpack this just a little bit more? If we're proposing ANY class of woman where rape is somehow less bad or mitigated where the hell does that leave society?

If we proposed a class of human beings who it was somehow less bad to kill can you not see how that leads to proper bona fide evil on an epic scale?

I'm not a feminist but no matter which way I look at it with my eyes squinting that picture is as ugly as hell.

I keep coming round to the notion that rape is bad, and if so much heterosexual interactions are so close to rape people can't tell the difference we really are up the creek on this one...

I tried to, AF, I tried.
I didn't give much detail, I just tried to explain - it was dominating my thoughts at the time when it's usually filed away safely in my brain. He didn't really respond, said something along the lines of that it was a long time ago and quickly moved on. He's never mentioned it since - it's almost as if I never opened my mouth.

*tried to tell him

I suggest we ignore the derail.

Hex, if you tried to tell him now and included all the details do you think he would judge you like he has judged Evan's victim ?

You've made your point zefcal, and no one agrees with you, including the OP. So, enough now.

Clearly there are other issues that this has highlighted for the OP.

Hex

I haven't seen your other post but if your H dismissed you talking about something that really upset or affected you by saying it's a long time ago, then you deserve better

zefcal - I am sure you may have a point somewhere, just not here. And indeed it's nothing to do with your opinion re innocence/guilt of CE, it's how the response of the OP's OH affects her.
You will also find that this isn't a 'whole forum of women' - there are two blokes so far here, that I know of. This isn't an 'us and them' matter.

OP I haven't seen your other post but it may help to talk to your local rape crisis service about any personal experience or confusing feelings. It may help to hear from people who understand and care and get validation of how you feel. It helped me after a less than helpful response from my husband. (I emailed if that is an option for you).

No one deserves to have an upsetting experience minimised by their partner (or friend or relative, for that matter)

Hence: you deserve better.

As noted otherwhere, though, you are a middle of the night new registrant keen to tell women on this feminism board why they are wrong. So I shan't engage further.

#WeSeeYou