Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

DH is 'glad' of verdict

268 replies

HexBramble · 15/10/2016 17:04

I'm sickened tbh.
He announced this morning that he is happy and glad that justice has been served and will not listen to reason.
We have 3 daughters. AngrySad

OP posts:
Petronius16 · 18/10/2016 18:57

For information, the number of false accusations of rape is about 3% of the total reports said Police recently.

I read a report that FIL hired two private detectives to find evidence to clear his name.

AskBasil · 18/10/2016 20:56

What Het said.
In addition men: now imagine that if you tell anyone, all the people around you will assume you're at best over-reacting and misinterpreting this violation of your body (your attacker thought you wanted it and misread the signs) and at worst, you're lying about it because you're a crazy irrational arsehole who is intent on ruining the life of your attacker.

So you can't even tell anyone.

Now imagine living with that for years, teaching yourself not to flinch when the word rape is mentioned, hearing other men having theoretical conversations about whether men who did what you did, let a friend into their home, were asking for it, sometimes making quips about the subject or slyly darting you glances when you get too angry about the way the subject is turning, so after a few years you stop expressing your discomfort with they way they talk about it. Maybe falling in love with someone who ten years after you first met him, expresses the opinion that men who complain about what happened to you, are the reason other men who get attacked can't get justice. And knowing that you can't tell him what happened to you because he'll think you're a twat for "letting" it happen. And he's supposed to love you and you're supposed to love him.

Then think again, whether that's better than being attacked in an alley with a knife.

Neither's a fucking picnic

AnyFucker · 18/10/2016 21:30

...and when you try to get some support from him about what happened to you in the light of recent news you get "STFU...it was years ago"

or words to that effect

women do not need to stay married to men like that

even if they otherwise come across as Pillars of The Fucking Community

BeyondReasonablyDoubts · 18/10/2016 21:53

Fab post by basil too Flowers
And AF Flowers

Cocoabutton · 18/10/2016 22:05

STFU, it was years ago - then... (whiny) can we please just have sex now? Pleeease (hands on you)

No, not really

What on earth is wrong with you? Do you not love me anymore?

Etc

PinkissimoAndPearls · 19/10/2016 11:28

Hex I don't know if you will look at this thread again but just in case, and for anyone else, someone linked this on another thread and I thought it was good.

roseandmumandmore.com/2016/10/17/ched-evans-the-mens-hero/

AnyFucker · 19/10/2016 12:02

That is a great article

Queenoftheblues · 19/10/2016 12:21

Ched's gf admits she put his "cheating" in a box because the rape charge was so shocking it over rode everything and she felt protective over him. This stupid woman fought for him, potentially put herself in danger of bribery charges and had a baby with the pig. She's shown him she will forgive him if he cheats. This relationship is doomed.

IBelieveTheEarthIsFlat · 19/10/2016 12:25

Actually, I think she has ensured that CE can NEVER leave her now. Imagine that vengeful partner story on the Tabloids!

Sunshineonacloudyday · 19/10/2016 12:25

I don't think he will go there again. If he does he will be stupid and she will look just as silly as him.

IBelieveTheEarthIsFlat · 19/10/2016 12:29

Hex Flowers
Hope you're ok

Sunshineonacloudyday · 19/10/2016 12:33

I haven't been on this thread for to long but I think one of you should pm her to see if she is okay.

AnyFucker · 19/10/2016 16:41

If Hex wants to talk some more, she knows where we are.

LastGirlOnTheLeft · 20/10/2016 22:00

Pink I really liked that article. It bothered me so much that men online seemed to identify with the rapist. I was losing my already-minute faith in men.

Until my DH came in from working a 14 hour shift to tell me straight away how disgusted he was at the verdict, how he hated Evans and how sick so many men made him feel. Then he went to sleep!!

If it were not for my Dad and DH, I feel I would loathe men. And I hate that feeling...like being so close to the precipice.

Grimarse · 21/10/2016 07:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PinkissimoAndPearls · 21/10/2016 07:43

It takes a special kind of cunt to post simply to be rude and dismissive to a woman sharing how she feels after being a victim of rape grimarse.

Lastgirl I know exactly what you mean.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 21/10/2016 09:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Xenophile · 21/10/2016 10:13

Fucking hell Grim, even for your normal posting habits, that's low.

DeleteOrDecay · 21/10/2016 10:16

I've reported that vile comment.

Xenophile · 21/10/2016 11:08

I kind of hope it doesn't get removed. It is vile, but it proves a point quite neatly.

Soubriquet · 21/10/2016 11:14

Oh I do like that article

That rang so many bells it was shockingly loud

Luckily Dh is one of those men who was disgusted and said "this is why I don't like men in general. Why I won't go for a pint in the pub"

Grimarse · 21/10/2016 16:48

IIt takes a special kind of cunt to post simply to be rude and dismissive to a woman sharing how she feels after being a victim of rape grimarse.

Hang on a minute. My response was to LastGirls comment from 2200 last night. She made no mention of being a victim of rape there. She was specifically talking about the woman in the Ched Evans case. So how have you twisted it to make out that I was in any way referring to LastGirl being a victim of rape? Are you saying that at 2200 LastGirl stated that she has been raped and that I dismissed her?

That just does not make any sense. And now that the comment has been removed, it looks like I said something that I most certainly did not. If someone - anyone - wants to stand by the accusation, I am happy to take it up with them and the moderators - because it is bullshit.

PinkissimoAndPearls · 21/10/2016 17:18

Grimarse unlike PPs I haven't seen any of your other posts. Are you a man, by any chance? I apologise if you're not but your complete lack of insight and empathy on this subject strongly indicates to me that you are.

I can't speak for Lastgirl as that would be presumptuous and rude. I can only speak for myself when I say the vast majority of posters on this thread are rape or abuse survivors dealing with the complicated feelings this trial and verdict has aroused in us. The vast majority of us are fearful of men due to experiences we have suffered at their hands. Reconciling these feelings of fear, and yes hatred in some cases, is very hard as a lot of us have husbands, sons etc.

To come on this thread and speak in the manner you did (I won't repeat it as it has been deleted) was goady, mocking, insensitive and dismissive - ironically not doing much to help us reconcile our feelings we are currently experiencing due to male violence against us.

If you are a man, and I suspect you are, you have no fucking idea. You didn't post to support us or engage in a genuine conversation. You posted to be a smart arse and it was wildly inappropriate given the subject of this thread.

So instead of throwing your toys out of the pram over being deleted, you would do better to apologise for being so fucking insensitive.

Are you a man, btw?

thedancingbear · 21/10/2016 17:49

I'm a man. Grimarse - stop being a dick. Even if you disagree with the tenor of the thread, for fuck's sake, have some basic humanity.

There you go, he might listen to me. He certainly isn't going to take any notice of anything a woman says or feels.

AnyFucker · 21/10/2016 18:00

It appears that rimarse 's raison d'etre on MN is to point out that women do bad stuff too.

< yawn >