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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminist Pub XXI - The Pub with No Name

796 replies

erinaceus · 09/09/2016 12:22

Welcome, everybody.

Happy Friday.

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erinaceus · 10/09/2016 13:18

We do do morning coffees, as you like it. On the weekends we serve brunch: scrambled eggs on toast.

Thank you Erol for the link. Please BYO pork scratchings though, or, erm, convince the chef to stock them too and don't tell me?

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Myownperson · 10/09/2016 13:59

I'm really hoping I have pms or else my finding a positive approach to weekends is abysmally failing.

erin you are quite the landlady. Can grown ups go on the bouncy castle? Is it BYO scampi fries too?

I listened to someone talking about how pms doesnt exist recently. Sounded quite convincing but I'm less sure today!

sentia · 10/09/2016 14:19

PMS doesn't exist?? Pregnancy moodiness certainly does, I'm not imagining it.

Myownperson · 10/09/2016 14:58

Yes it was a TED talk. I think she was a psychologist. I recall her talking about "diagnosis", being very inaccurate. And that it is used (used is probably the wrong description here)to explain women expressing emotions and thoughts that are otherwise unacceptable.

I'm sure there was more.

Off to the shop to get myself some comfort food for my imaginary pms.

Are you experiencing pregnancy moodiness now? I can send some Chocolate your way.

sentia · 10/09/2016 16:08

Mmmm chocolate. Thank you!

Yes, I can see the point if she means PMS as a means of minimising how women are feeling.

Felascloak · 10/09/2016 20:41

Thanks buffy Flowers

RebelRogue · 10/09/2016 20:48

Is there black sambuca and lenience for newbies ?

erinaceus · 10/09/2016 21:32

What's black sambucca?

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erinaceus · 10/09/2016 21:36

Adults on the bouncy castle are pretty standard. No BYO needed; scampi and chips are provided by the chef.

On PMS not being real, I looked into this once and found what I read to be interesting. I think that all I read was Wikipedia, but I found it interesting because I had never questioned the existence of PMS when I am someone who typically questions everything.

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RebelRogue · 10/09/2016 21:38

www.thedrinkshop.com/group/5/black-sambuca

ErrolTheDragon · 10/09/2016 21:44

So is PMS real? I never had it. (Debilitating period pains before I went on the pill, that was all too real though. )

erinaceus · 10/09/2016 21:46

That black sambuca looks like a recipe for a hangover. I am not sure how I feel about it.

Newbies are welcome.

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sentia · 10/09/2016 21:58

Sambucca is most definitely a recipe for a hangover!

slightlyglitterbrained · 10/09/2016 21:58

Now I really want dim sum, but finding somewhere that does enough of a veggie selection to be worth it is tricky.

Mine's a cider please. Or a perry.

RebelRogue · 10/09/2016 22:03

I don't get hangovers...or PMS Grin

Felascloak · 10/09/2016 22:34

I get PMS it is horrible. But it's more I can't obey social mores than I get unreasonably angry. I'm likey to lose my temper about something that's been bugging me for ages when I'm premenstrual.
I also get physical symptoms like sore boobs and clumsiness.
I don't believe it's not a real condition but I don't think PMS should be used to write off a woman being angry about something.
And who knows, I also have cysty ovaries so maybe I have a hormone disorder being misdiagnosed as PMS

Myownperson · 10/09/2016 22:56

I wonder. I was happy to realise I might have PMS today because it's better than not being of sound mind. Maybe my feelings are actually just about my situation. But instead I can eat chocolate and be a premenstrual woman.

Oh dear, I will lower the fun weekend pub atmosphere. Mine's a good old gin and tonic please.

RebelRogue · 11/09/2016 00:25

Wonder if it's related to my pcos. I rarely have periods so maybe that's why.

erinaceus · 11/09/2016 06:47

I thought of PMS as one of those things that happen. A bit like calling a normal, healthy pregnancy "swollen belly with moving infant inside it syndrome".

What I remember reading needed is that what researchers found was that PMS symptoms are highly reproducible month-to-month within the woman - something that reflects my own experience of needing to eat half a packet of chocolate digestives whilst crying about how far I am at T-minus four every month - and also highly variable between women. It also talked about symptoms being in some sense culture-bound such that different cultures have different common symptoms of PMS.

Lastly the bit I remember was this idea that because women are "permitted" by attributing their strong emotions to PMS to be more tearful, angry, whatever, they do this each month not wholly due to fluctuating hormones but also due to having a culturally acceptable explanation ("I'm sorry, I'm due my period.")

It was all very interesting. It was a medium my misogynist friend who raised the question with me, "do you believe in PMS" and I realisedIj had never really questioned it so I did a bit of reading.

If you drink black sambuca, and get a hangover, I will not feel responsible and will probably just hand you a large glass of water and some paracetamol and ask the chef to make you a greasy fry-up. Don't do it too often though and please do not vomit on the comfy sofas, on the bouncy castle, into the cannon or onto the goat.

Thank you.

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erinaceus · 11/09/2016 06:48

sorry needed is supposed to read [ [ citation needed ] ] (like on Wikipedia).

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AlpacaLypse · 11/09/2016 06:56

That's very interesting about different cultures having different subsets of typical pms symptoms.

Meanwhile does this pub do builder's tea and a bacon butty?

erinaceus · 11/09/2016 07:20

AlpacaLypse Can you ask the chef? I haven't had my coffee yet, but I am sure they can rustle something up. I'm just the landlady, a role which I appear to have fallen into and now feel slightly nervous about.

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ErrolTheDragon · 11/09/2016 08:37

Rebel - me too (before meno obv) . The pms part obv; not getting hangovers is a result merely of being a very moderate drinker not magic metabolism.

I'm sure I read or heard recently (within the last couple of months or so) about a study comparing mens and women's rationality, and in the latter related to their cycle. IIRC there was no difference although there was a variation in women's risk aversion. Given that misogynists are equate emotionality with irrationality that seemed quite important - does that ring a bell with anyone else?

Myownperson · 11/09/2016 08:42

I'd be chef but my cooking skills, or lack thereof, probably mean that's a bad idea.

I can certainly hand out tea and let the landlady enjoy her coffee.

BrewBrewBrew

Link to a transcript of the TED talk I mentioned for anyone interested. link

Why oh why on a Sunday morning would I post on an AIBU about parents asking people to move on a flight?!

Felascloak · 11/09/2016 10:00

That's interesting Errol. I recently heard the term manstruating to talk about men being irrational which made me laugh. Imo men are as likely to get angry irrationally and comfort eat when they are grumpy but in women we just write it off as hormones. Grrrr.

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