Mumsnet demanding that I change my nickname

[AbortionFairyGodmother]

Suddenly after posting on several transgender issue related threads, I am getting a note in my email inbox:

"We wanted to drop you a line about your Mumsnet nickname, because we've have had a few reports from other posters about it and how it has caused distress.

Our aim is to make parents' lives easier by pooling and sharing advice and support, and while we're all for free speech, we really don't feel that this nickname is in the spirit of our philosophy.
We're asking therefore if you can change it please. "

Yeah, well, a lot of parents need abortions. My nickname is here because I am an abortion activist who sends abortion pills to women (mostly mothers!!) who desperately need them and are not in areas where they can access them.

Watch this, women. This is what censorship looks like. No "misgendering" people, no getting too far out of line, no being too public about your activism. Because it will offend someone. Best to make my nickname something like KittensAndFlowersLOL, right?

I think I've been really clear throughout. All the points I've made are completely in keeping with many of my usual areas of discussion, rights connected to women's sexed bodies, development work, human rights legislation and so on.

I think the constant claims I said things I didn't say, negatively interpreting what I said, asking what activism I think should be carried out but then making no response to it, not commenting on the recommendations in the reports and then consistently responding back to me as if I am incomprehensible/bizarre/implying something is just creating a whole load of work for me and limiting the time I have discussing the actual issue of reproductive rights. The UN Women report discusses preventing forced abortion and ensuring availability of abortion together.

I would much rather discuss what the word abortion means to people, experiences women have had, and human rights around this.

And now I have to go out.

TBR, all rapes are horrific. And the reports I linked to also contained statistics and ways of tackling the problem.

I have stated several times why I want to post about the issue of reproductive rights.

I have no idea why you want to post over and over again about me and what my motivations might be.

I'm not offended. I would just have liked to discuss these issues, but as they have been discussed on previous FWR threads and no doubt will be in the future, I am going to write off this experience on this thread as unproductive and wait for a better time. And I really do have to go out.

OP, at the very least I understand why you would be concerned about being silenced after participating in a discussion of trans issues.

I think if I don't usually post on this board then you don't recognise the people that normally do.

So it may seem odd to regular posters who aren't used to being questioned as they a assume everyone knows what their stance is and where they're coming from.

And it can come across as a teensy bit cliquey and maybe put people off. Which would be a shame as these boards contain a wealth of knowledge which is eye - opening.

Ah ok black - I don't often post here because I find it a bit intimidating but some of almonds posts suggested she was well known and was surprised at some of the responses 'I'm not normally told that I'm banging on about something...' etc which made me think it was out of the ordinary and seemed a bit cliquey.

And this isn't a personal thing about that poster - just some of the comments suggested she was established here and not usually questioned.

I understand and support your username and don't see why you should be asked to change it, especially if it is because someone did not like what you said about transgender people ( which I agree with you on btw and it is not transphobic to say that gender is a hierarchical social construct and should be rid of)

Also Abortion is a form of birth control and is sometimes the only way a woman can avoid childbirth whatever her reasons may be so should be respected as such and as much as contraception methods.

Of course it is not a 'nice' subject but important and I appreciate you raising awareness and being thought-provoking with your -might I say- provocative and symbolic username however uncomfortable it may make us as our right as individual women to make decisions about our bodies is still not recognised and is constantly being questioned and guilt-tripped.

It is not a bad thing to be provocative btw- I was just sayin' :)

oops I apologise to Mumsnet- I think the issue has been resolved and I seem to have got the wrong end of the stick.... Wombofonesown is a great username btw

Dad did not say what?

Swan, let me be more clear about it. Context of a username is not provided by the owner of the username, its framed by the online space the username appears in. DadWasHere is an acceptable username in the context of this forum and probably all of Mumsnet. But were I to take the same username into an online forum of survivors of incest it would not be appropriate.

Sorry to hear you namechanged OP. It was a great nickname and you are a legend.

Thanks, Dad, but I didn't really need clarification. I was just wondering why you felt the need to make that point three days after the OP had provided the background for her username and then changed it. Had you questioned her username in any other, previous, thread, I would have been 100% behind you. But to do it now seems a bit pointless, don't you think?

Your analogy only works if the OP had been using her name on a forum for survivors of traumatic abortions. Which she didn't. Because that would have been disgusting. And you are just as likely to have survivors of abuse and incest on MN as you are to have people traumatized by abortions. Which is why I'm going to be honest with you here, Dad, (and possibly prove your point for you in the process): your username makes me sick. Would you (respectfully) consider changing it?

Swan, if 'dad' still has so much dark power over you as 'mum' once did for me then you should try to move beyond that or seek help if you cannot. Sorry if I have personally annoyed you and by all means make a complaint to the admins about my username if you feel its out of context here.

But of back peddling there dad

'Do as I say but not as I do' hey??

Yes, DadHasAbsolutelyNothingToDoWithIncestSoWhyBringItUp, I'm surprised you would take that stance. After all, you felt so strongly about the OP's name that you showed up here to witter on about China three days after she'd changed it. But people triggered by your name should just get over it?

Has to. Be said, DWH, I would never have interpreted your name that way but I now won't forget that interpretation.

I guess that's the difficulty with usernames. Abortion may be a difficult word but as has been discussed, there may be words or terms that many other's find distressing.

So IMO unless it's a NN that references a crime, it's difficult to know where to draw the line.

And it's a moot point here as the OP changed her NN but an interesting issue in a wider context.

I do think Mumsnet (or Mumsnetters) take issue with posters who stray from a naice Middle class norm!

It should be questioned why as a "group", "Anyfucker", fairly offensive really (name not poster) is okay, but Abortionfairygodmother is not okay.
I think the name should stand.

More widely, yesterday's news reported very positively that there is a new simpler test for detecting Down's syndrome but no mention of the abortions that may result from the test. Why can't we talk more openly about abortion?

"ship them off to countries where abortion is illegal then I think she would be able to get hold of large quantities of easily available contraceptive meds and make a bigger difference more easily without putting anyone's life at additional risk"

I live in Ireland. Contraception is widely available. Abortion is illegal. The idea that we could sort out our abortion issue by somebody just sending us poor unfortunates more contraceptives is risible ("My god, it had never occurred to us to just USE BIRTH CONTROL, then we wouldn't need all those abortions!"). Also clearly contraception has a 100% success rate, nobody is ever raped or coerced into pregnancy, nobody has a chaotic lifestyle that reduces likelihood of using/effectively using contraceptives, nobody has to terminate for medical reasons...