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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Just a bit of a question not a judgement about the boards

236 replies

FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 21/05/2015 19:44

I tend to go between various topics to see what others are saying. If I'm being honest the large part of my time here is spent in either Chat, AIBU or Relationships. I know those topics aren't a representation of MNet as a whole but you go where you go nonetheless.
I was just wondering if anyone had come across responses to various threads in which they thought "What on earth!?"

On the relationships board I've often found the 'Tell it like it is' clan, who often, if not always, have nothing better to offer than variations of 'LTB' are rife and are never actually helpful in way of advice or support.

Chat is normally relaxed... and AIBU is usually set up for a flaming of sorts. This is the internet after all so no-one should be losing sleep but I've always wondered how this would appear from a feminist perspective - The advice we are offering each other here.

I'm not complaining about these boards as I've often found a lot of supportive advice but one comment that hit me was someone saying that they couldn't believe the amount of ingrained misogyny on various threads.

OP posts:
didyouwritethe · 22/05/2015 21:16

Has internet activism reduced political campaigning to this?

almondcakes · 22/05/2015 21:30

Blistory, I know you've had an unpleasant week on here, and that posters on here get a lot of grief.

I think right now I can't think of a way of discussing this thread within the wider context of other threads where you and others have been poorly treated that isn't going to upset or annoy someone or possibly everyone.

So I should probably not try right now.

Blistory · 22/05/2015 21:42

Almond, apologies for the rant. I know the merits and benefits in trying to dial it all back a bit - I just didn't manage to sit on my hands in time. Guilty of doing what I accused others of.

almondcakes · 22/05/2015 22:04

You don't have to apologise to me! I am totally fine with coherent rants.

FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 22/05/2015 22:05

OrlandoWoolf I recognise you from various threads. You always seem very level headed and I'd hate for you to act out in RL just to appease someone in RL that was looking at you twice to make sure that you are a woman.
I'd never give a flying fuck. And I hope you don't prance and dance into the women's room because you want to make it easier for us 'normal' looking women! Just go in there and fuck them! You don't have to prove yourself as a woman in the slightest! You are a woman so even if they look at you - well good for them! Don't go in there trying to appease someone. No need! You have as much right as I do to use any 'women only' space.

Anyway, that was besides the point.

Pag I'm gonna have a drink and regroup as I already said that I stand by everything I've said. You never going to Uni doesn't change your stance in the slightest! You are what you mean and say, whether or not you went to Uni means fuck all! You are very articulate and I'm sure you do well in the world but Uni doesn't come into this.

I am not out to 'get at' another poster, I honestly could not be bothered. If I'm being honest, I do stand by every single word and sentence I have said.

OP posts:
Dognado · 22/05/2015 22:21

Anyway, that was besides the point

Quite.

shaska · 22/05/2015 22:29

I'm really not... qualified... to say this I don't think. I mean, I haven't been here very long and I'm pretty sure I'm not part of the 'mob' that seems to get mentioned (or am I?!). And people like.. well for example Blistory, I guess I worry it'll seem like I'm out of turn or trying to speak on behalf of others or something. But here goes anyway!

It's interesting how Pagwatch (I know who you are, at least! I read mn!) is baffled by this thread. I mean, I'm baffled by this thread, but I'm less baffled by the talk about mobs and bullying. Because honestly, I've been reading here regularly for just a few weeks and seen it over, and over, and over. It's weird. It doesn't happen on other boards, just this one.

And I started to wonder well is it true? I mean, for myself, even - part of the mob or not. That thread that went tits up the other day I genuinely thought at times, wait, am I horrible?

And there are posters like almondcakes who are really, really reasonable and thoughtful. But the best that seems to happen is a sort of 'well you're ok but just to remind you everyone else is really not ok at all' response. And if you're remotely... prickly or flippant or even just not really really careful what you say, the whole mob/bullying/'this is why I hate FWR' calls start

I dunno. I shouldn't really be posting this, I suppose. Not my circus etc. But as someone new, at times I've wondered if there's stuff I don't know. Like, a backstory. Possibly in real life. Involving swords, or polonium or something. I mean, just because it makes so little sense to me.

Jux · 22/05/2015 22:32

Fallen, have you been drinking?

TheBlackRider · 22/05/2015 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 22/05/2015 22:35

No jux why would you even suggest that?

OP posts:
almondcakes · 22/05/2015 22:36

I'm am not very reasonable Shaska. You just caught me in a reasonable mood. I massively over reacted to something not long ago and had to apologise,

FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 22/05/2015 22:37

Dear God! Shall we all just call it quits and say that we didn't understand each other!:

OP posts:
TheBlackRider · 22/05/2015 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 22/05/2015 22:40

TheBlackRider Which it is not! I'm happy for anyone to take issue but not happy with someone making bizarre presumptions!

OP posts:
TheBlackRider · 22/05/2015 22:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DadWasHere · 22/05/2015 22:47

It doesn't happen on other boards, just this one.

It happens on a ton of boards about a ton of different things. IMO its just that the moderation of this one is the most liberal I have ever seen, and I have been around forums and been a mod of others since before the net was made public. That's not to say I am unhappy with the mods here, its just to say that any overseer effect, where a poster considers possible mod reactions before posting, seems non-existent. Only posters who begin frothing at the mouth and speaking in tongues need fear, and they are beyond fear anyway.

FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 22/05/2015 22:49

DadWasHere You make no sense. HTH!

OP posts:
almondcakes · 22/05/2015 22:53

I agree, Dadwashere, but think maybe Shaska meant section rather than board, and was comparing to the rest of MN?

Blistory · 22/05/2015 22:53

There are 2 backstories that are interlinked.

Back in the day, FWR attracted some real trolls who conducted a real hate campaign against the posters then. Spilled over into real life.

It created an atmosphere and hostility with regulars not able to distinguish between trolls and other posters. FWR gained a reputation for being a closed shop.

Years afterwards, posters who once got a hard time remember and continue to talk about the FWR board as it was. Despite the fact that very few of us from that time still post here. Despite the real effort that FWR posters go to, they are berated for something that no longer exists.

Running parallel is the fact that throughout, FWR continues to attract trolls and MRAs who can be vicious to posters. Posters from MN pop in briefly and see the response to these trolls and assume that it's just like days gone by.

MNHQ are better at zapping trolls but seem powerless to deal with the constant goading that still goes on.

So we have a board which is trolled, which some other posters pop on just to wind up "the feminists" and which, as a consequence is very protective and possibly a little too defensive on occasion.

What non regulars don't see is the number of threads that get deleted or posts that get deleted. There have been umpteen olive branches offered but it just takes one thread like the one you're talking about, for everyone to roll their eyes at FWR kicking off again.

Contrary to popular opinion, there isn't a feminist klaxon that calls us all to a thread but we can't get away from that accusation.

Which is why I got frustrated because it's been the same old, same old for years. I've looked to myself as have others but it doesn't matter. The irony is that MN has become more feminist as a result of the effort that posters go to on here but heaven forbid that anyone recognises the effort, intellect and support that goes on in FWR to make that possible.

shaska · 22/05/2015 23:02

Yep meant within MN not other boards, sorry. Definitely seen my share of board wars- but I guess it surprised me here.

Blistory thanks for that. It does help but for me doesn't quite explain the level of it. I mean I guess if I felt a board was unfriendly I don't think I'd feel the need to let them know. Repeatedly. But then I suppose that's a personal choice.

BlackRider- that's exactly what someone who owns a sword would say.

almondcakes · 22/05/2015 23:03

Yes. There are no other sections (as far as I know) where there are whole threads as well as posts that get deleted with such frequency because the OP or major poster is a banned poster.

The only similar thing was the deleting of numerous threads started by new racist posters on AIBU in the run up to the election.

didyouwritethe · 22/05/2015 23:03

The pity of it is that feminism is political. Yet all this is personal, and petty. And utterly irrational.

TheBlackRider · 22/05/2015 23:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shaska · 22/05/2015 23:08

And almond I refuse to believe you're not reasonable! You're stuck with it forever from me I'm afraid.

didyouwritethe · 22/05/2015 23:09

I think most people on here do, TBR.

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